“True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one’s self.” – Joseph Addison
It’s hard to keep the world from weighing down on you. With relationships, bills and a whole slew of other frustrations in the world, it’s easy to understand why you feel glum. It can even feel as though life is just one giant string of depressing moments broken up by tiny moments of happiness.
However, the truth is that many times, our frustrations are caused by not taking the proper time for yourself. What this means is that a huge number of the annoyances that we face everyday can be solved quite simply. In fact, there are 6 solid ways that calm you down every time!
Who doesn’t like a good nap, whether it be twenty minutes or two hours? There really is nothing quite like waking up refreshed and wonderful! In fact, studies show that there is a direct link between your mood and how much sleep you’re getting.
So using that sort of knowledge, it makes sense as to why the perfect nap increases your happiness. In the case that you’re in a down mood, you now have the perfect excuse to sleep it off.
2. A Walk in Nature
Think back on all the times you’ve wandered into the woods as a kid. Whether you’re hiking through a forest or walking down a nature trail, nature just soothes the soul. One thing many scientists agree on is how your environment affects your mood. Being around the sun, the singing birds and the gentle wave of the trees is exactly what you need sometimes.Advertising
Just changing that view allows your mind to wander into the pleasantness of the moment rather then all the things going on in your life. Life is about being in the moment, the people that live in the now are generally quite happy with their lives!
3. A Good Laugh
Laughing until you cry. The very image makes people smile with joy as they relate their experiences of doing just that. The fact of the matter is that when you laugh, it stimulates a part of the brain that controls happiness. A solid laugh with a group of friends always feels so good while it’s happening.
Afterwards that great feeling just sits in your chest for a time, and if you think about it, one joke tends to lead into another. If just a solid laugh fixes your down mood, think about what a wave of laughter can do?Advertising
4. Fresh Air Near the Sea
Picture yourself on the edge of the sea. Whether it’s on the shore or cliff is irrelevant. Feeling the cold wind hit your face, feeling the refreshing effects. Just the very thought of being next to the sea inspires images of relation and calmness. The sea air is the subject of actual research being conducted to find out the exact medical benefits of seawater and the air.
5. Deep Breathing
Breathing deeply is a quick, immediate solution to calming yourself down. If you get very upset and are stressing out, immediately stop what you are doing and take a second. Shallow breathing has been shown to be a part of the stresses of modern life.Advertising
Breathing deep when the situation calls for it is one of the best abilities to develop. Our lungs are as deep as they are for a reason, take advantage of the calm that comes from breathing deeply!
How many times have you sighed deeply when you take a shower? That water running down your back just seems to take all your cares away. The rushing water has also shown to yield some surprising effects on your overall mood and health.
With these solutions to cure your mood, it’s surprising to see so many people so frustrated. The issue is the fact that they are so easy! If you think abut it, taking five minutes to do any of these things is all it takes. By that same nature, you have all the time in the world to cool off. Which is exactly why people don’t do it. You need to commit a huge amount of willpower just to use these solutions, but it’s totally worth it. Take those five minutes, calm yourself, and increase your happiness!
Featured photo credit: Ed Gregory via stokpic.com
Last Updated on December 17, 2018
Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself
Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?
Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.
Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.
Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:
- What if I took a chance on myself?
- Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
- Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
- What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?
So why would you think you’re not good enough?
The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.
I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.
Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.
As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.
If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.
Solution: Slay Your Dragons!
If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.
As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.
Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.
Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.
Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.
2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying
Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.
No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.
Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.
The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.
What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.
If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.
When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.
Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.
Solution: Read About the Failures of Others
It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.
When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.
When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.
Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.
3. Undervalue Yourself
What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.
What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.
There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.
Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:
“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”
Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth
Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.
Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.
Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.
By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.
Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.
Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.
More Inspiration About Motivation
- How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It
- How to End Negative Self Talk and Reinvent Your Self Image
- How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Right Now
- 15 Ways to Practice Positive Self-Talk for Success
- How to Change a Negative Attitude That Is Slowly Destroying Your Life
Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com