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10 Things To Remember When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

10 Things To Remember When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

“Never be afraid to fall apart. It presents an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along” – Rae Smith.

Extremely fortunate and incredibly rare is a person who never stumbles in life. Life can often be monotonous with little fluctuation and many of us get used to that. But what really challenges us mentally, emotionally and physically, are the few times we hit those massive, dramatic roadblocks – be it health problems, financial hardships or the loss of a loved one.

These situations can make us feel dark, hopeless and stuck, like we’ve just hit rock bottom. But rest assured, it is possible to revive ourselves and rejoice once more as a brighter, better person. Here are some tips to help make that happen.

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1. Let yourself feel

Too often we feel the urge to ‘distract ourselves’ or ‘get on with things’ when we are feeling low, but what we really need is to let emotions pass through us in order to process them effectively. Be it anger, frustration, grief or disappointment, it is important to be able to identify what we are feeling so we can let go of them. Once we release them, we can understand ourselves at a deeper level, and better deal with similar situations in the future.

2. Take the time to reflect

Indeed, the art to all change is reflection. Giving yourself the time to understand what the situation means to you, how it has affected you and if applicable, how you could have handled it better will help ease your mind and help lighten your heart. Lessons learnt during difficult times will be the strongest and longest lasting.

3. Have faith

Sometimes the simple act of having faith that good will follow the bad, is enough to ease distress. Believing in something bigger than us – whatever that may be – God, fate or destiny, will allow us to surrender the situation and work through it diligently.

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4. Be self-compassionate

The only way we can learn to pick ourselves up is by loving ourselves. Use your downfall as an opportunity to nurture yourself with softness and care. Take baths, take strolls and explore the world. You will find that with time, you will have built the emotional capacity to uplift yourself no matter what the circumstance

5. Engage in creative outlet

Make art, write poetry and create music. Engaging in creativity helps channel negativity into light and transform destructive emotions into joy.

6. Spend time in nature

Spending time in nature helps us connect to purity and our true essence. Notice the beauty around you and realize it’s still there. Take a walk to a pool of water and nourish yourself in the sight, you’ll notice that you’ve instilled calmness inside you and have a clarity of thought that didn’t exist before.

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7. Listen to Music

Much music is written from sincere passion and strong emotion. Listening to a variety of different music helps motivate us, stimulate our creativity, and connect across time and space with those who have been driven to create.

8. Try new things

Experiment with new hobbies, cultivate new interests and engage with new people. Read. A lot. Exposing yourself to different viewpoints will help you find yourself, and remember that every new thing you encounter has the difference to change your life.

9. Surround yourself with the right people

Spend time with people who uplift you. Words of encouragement and self-belief from trusted friends are important in times of difficulty. Temporarily avoid anyone who is negative or anybody who is emotionally entangled with your situation – this will prevent you from taking the break you need to process things and develop yourself.

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10. Believe in miracles

Believe that amazing things happen. Believe that miracles are true. Break out of any internal monologue that tells you that things will never get better. Realise that the world is a fascinating place. Things can turn around quicker than you think, if you believe they can.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanaceck via picjumbo.com

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Vijaytha Murali

Doctor, United Kingdom

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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