Advertising
Advertising

What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control

What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control

Sometimes life can be downright nasty. People can wrong you, betray your trust, defy you, and put you in a situation where you are victimized. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. Have you wondered what happens if you refuse to play the role of a victim and take back control in your life?

Let’s first define what a victim is. A victim is someone who has been harmed, injured, or killed as a result of an accident, crime, or other event. Being victimized can come in all shapes and forms. You could have your trust betrayed by someone near and dear to you, you could be a victim of a horrible crime, you could be a victim of your own mindset. You can be victimized by friends, family members, strangers, your country, or even yourself. But you can do something about it, and it starts with you.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” — Eckhart Tolle

Oftentimes when we are victimized, we feel overwhelmed or even alone and struggle with coping appropriately. But after some time, playing the role of the victim is detrimental to our health. However, there are plenty of things you can do when you choose to reclaim your life.

Leave the situation

Ask yourself this question: can I leave or remove myself from the situation?

For example, if you’re in a relationship and your trust has been betrayed for whatever reason, can you leave the situation — can you put yourself out of harm’s way?

Advertising

Oftentimes, the environment we surround ourselves with will harbor the role of being a victim. It’s time to change that. You could go stay with a friend, family member, or get a hotel. Either way, refusing to leave a situation that only affords you the role of being a victim is not healthy.

Change the situation

Instead of waiting for a situation or a person to change, why not see what you can do? More often than not, you cannot force a person to change, but you can greatly influence change. You can act as a catalyst for that change.

For example, if you live with a family member or significant other who has a substance abuse problem and tends to be really mean to you when they’re under the influence, what can you do? You can start changing the situation by setting boundaries. You can take your power back by letting a particular person know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

Advertising

You cannot change others, it’s up to them, but you can greatly influence their behaviors by changing how you interact with them.

Accept the situation and change your mindset

Accepting the situation and then changing your mindset should be applied to almost any situation where you have been victimized. Trust me, this is a hard thing to do, but you can do it. Accept that a tragic wrong has been done, accept it, put it in the past, and live in the here and now. It may take time, but the greatest gift you have is the present.

Changing your mindset when you have been victimized means you will no longer assume the role of a victim. You will reclaim your power and voice — they are yours and should have never been taken.  Regardless of how you were victimized, changing your mindset to know that you have complete power over your thoughts, actions, and reactions will change your life.

Advertising

What happens when you take your life back

You know what will happen when you decide to stop playing the victim and take your life back? A lifetime full of possibilities. You will have your personal power back. Your creative spark will glow to help solve problems where most other people wouldn’t know where to start.

By taking back your power and no longer playing the victim, you will grant yourself permission to have more freedom, as you will no longer depend on others. You will become the master of your own life. You set the pace and decide what road to take.

Yes, it will be hard — I’m not suggesting it will be easy. With perseverance and dedication, your hard work will pay off. In turn, you will have crafted a more relaxed life built on your own power.

Advertising

No one wishes to be victimized, but it happens. By changing your role from victim to personal hero, you can begin to reclaim your power and become the hero in your own story.

More by this author

Tara Massan

Founder of Be Moved, Life Coach and Writer.

Why Singing In The Shower Can Boost Your Confidence And Health When You’re Made To Feel Unwanted, Leave And Never Turn Back 11 Hidden Signs You’re Highly Empathetic But You May Not Even Notice That What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control Why People Who Have Much Younger Siblings Are Amazing Friends

Trending in Communication

1 5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester 2 How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up 3 How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late 4 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life 5 A List of 100 Questions to Ask Your Partner on Date Nights

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 22, 2018

5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester

5 Life Lessons I Learned From Dean Winchester

Is it possible to say anything bad about Supernatural’s co-protagonist, Dean Winchester? I mean, from the very beginning of the show he’s done nothing but save people, hunt things, and look out for his oft-misguided brother Sam, all while putting everyone else’s needs before his own.

Despite a few mishaps and stumbles here and there, Dean really is a great role model (well, excluding his tendency to consume copious amounts of alcohol and spend a bit too much time with a certain adult magazine).

Below, you’ll find a list of just a few of the things that Dean Winchester has taught me about life (beware, spoilers abound)…

1. Always Look Out For Your Family.

DWLL#1-reupbugged

    At the end of the day, all you really have is your family, and thus it’s important not to cut your ties with them unless absolutely necessary. As much as you’d like to think you could do without them sometimes, especially when they’re acting up, it’s a fact that most of us need some sort of support system to keep persevering in our daily lives. That motivation, that drive to succeed, that helping hand when you need it most; it often comes from family. It’s incredibly hard to go it alone in this world, and we should all be thankful for those in our family who make our journeys just a bit easier.

    Dean grew up on the road, and often found himself in difficult circumstances. Without his dad and brother, he’d have been killed, or worse, long ago. Thus, Dean goes to extreme lengths to maintain his relations with what little family he has left.

    His brother therefore is everything to him, so much so that it becomes overbearing to Sam at times (which says more about Sam’s flaws than Dean’s, in my opinion).

    Dean looked out for Sam even when most sane people would turn the other cheek. Heck, he even gave up his soul to resurrect Sam, and later dealt with his brother’s addiction with demon blood in such an understanding manner (given the circumstances) that he probably deserves some kind of award. Later, when Castiel became a permanent fixture on the show, he too became a part of Dean’s family, and as such Dean has looked out for the prodigal angel ever since. Dean is just a supremely loyal guy, who’s insanely protective of the people he loves.

    While you shouldn’t let family members take advantage of you (more on this below), keeping close ties with them and looking out for their best interests is noble indeed.

    Advertising

    2. Take Care Of Your Car.

    Is there anyone better at maintaining a car than Dean Winchester? It seems that all he needs is a few hours and some bicep flexing to get his 1967 Chevy Impala running as well as it did in…well…1967.

    I have absolutely zero sense when it comes to the mechanics of a car, so I admire Dean’s technical prowess. But this goes even deeper than the car. It’s about the symbolism of it all. We all have something we care about in this world more than most. Some may call it a hobby, some may call it an obsession, but you know it as the thing you love doing. For me it might be writing or video games. For Dean it’s his Impala. For my mom, it would be teaching. For you, it could be any number of things.

    As you see in the image above, Dean keeps his nearly fifty year old car looking brand spanking new, something of a miracle judging by how many times it has been wrecked in the show. If we all put that much elbow grease into the things we are obsessed with and care about the most, not only would we be happier, but the world would be a better place as well!

    To put it even more simply, if you love something as much as Dean loves his Impala, take the time to maintain it, to keep it in tip top shape. I know I’m getting abstract here, but if you like writing, that means keep writing!

    Or if you love cooking, keep coming up with new recipes!

    Dean is passionate about his car, and the time he puts into showing that passion is something we should all emulate when it comes to the things we love and are obsessed with.

    3. Being Brave Has Its Benefits.

    Who would have thought that Lucifer could be beaten by a mixture of bravery and brotherly love? Dean’s shown time and time again in Supernatural that he’s willing to risk his life and limb to take down the greatest of evils, whether it be Azazel, Lilith, Alastair, or the Devil himself. On that same note, were would any of us be if we didn’t have a bit of bravery? I know that I personally would be practically nowhere without the tiny amount of courage I’m able to conjure up now and then. Life is difficult, and it takes perseverance and a belief in oneself to make progress.

    For instance, I’m currently applying to a smattering of PhD programs. Frankly, it’s terrifying, putting myself out there to be judged by faceless entities in some of the world’s top universities. But I’m doing it because I know it’s the right thing for my future, no matter how much it hurts to expose myself to possible rejection.

    One thing I noticed while studying history is that great leaders usually aren’t the most intelligent, all-around awesome people in the room. Otherwise, Ben Franklin would have been our first President and Machiavelli’s republic would have worked out. No, the people who blaze a trail into the future are the ones willing to make tough, heat-of-the-moment decisions without knowing what the exact consequences might be.

    Advertising

    Often times, all it takes is a bit of moxy and belief in oneself to accomplish things you thought were impossible. For instance, I thought I could never lecture or teach a class, but when the day finally came I walked through the door, took a deep breath, and just went with it.

    Lo and behold it all went fine! Dean is the epitome of that dive in and ask questions later mentality. It may not always be the smartest move on the chess board, but it’s often the one that results in the swiftest victory.

    While there are certainly benefits to thinking everything through, sometimes the situation calls for an empty mind and bold action.

    4. You Will Lose, What Matters Is How You Deal With It.

    As a way to get my creative juices flowing for this article, I’m listening to Bob Seger’s “Beautiful Loser,” which is one of many songs that could be called Dean Winchester’s theme.

    Indeed, it played at the beginning of season 6 when Dean was still trying to cope with the fact that his brother was “dead” by trying to live a normal suburban life (which to Dean was probably worse than the forty years he spent in hell). Of course, we can all relate just a bit to Mr. Seger’s song, as we all find ourselves down in the dumps at one point or another. What matters it how we react to such adversity. Do we cower, and let our failures consume us, or keep fighting and hope to win in the future? Obviously, the latter choice is the better option.

    A good example I have relates to the basketball player Kobe Bryant, a polarizing figure to say the least. He recently attained the NBA record for most shots missed overall, which sounds bad on paper. But let’s look at the facts. Despite the fact that Kobe failed to make thousands of shots, he didn’t let it bring him down. If he let a bad shooting night or two keep him from being who he is, it’s doubtful he would have won five championships.

    We all lose, and are losers, at some points. Even the best of us. We just need to remember that there’s always a new day tomorrow, that there’s always a chance to make up for past deficiencies, always another opportunity to throw the ball into the basket. You aren’t defined by your failures, but by how you choose to react to them.

    Dean’s probably lost more than any character on Supernatural. He blamed himself for his dad’s death, was unable to keep Sam from going dark side, and unknowingly started the chain of events that led to Lucifer’s release.

    On top of all that, he seems to get his face smashed in by people who are supposed to love him pretty frequently, as you can see by the image used above. Fast forward to season 10, and we’ve seen Dean have to deal fairly consistently with people (read: Sam) who don’t appreciate anything he’s done for them.

    Advertising

    Dean epitomizes the fact that we humans lose, a lot. That doesn’t mean, however, that we have to sit on our laurels and let life beat us down.

    Despite dealing with the lowest of lows, Dean has always risen above in the end and done what’s right. It hasn’t always worked out, but I’d say he’s seen a net positive effect from his actions despite everything he’s been through.

    5. Sometimes You Have To Let It All Out.

    This season, Dean turned into a demon, which removed his humanity and allowed him to go crazy (it involved lots of bar fights and karaoke).

    This version of Dean was all-powerful and snarky to the max. He let everyone have it, especially Sam, who for the past several seasons has treated Dean like an annoyance. Obviously, there’s no way I know of to gain the powers of a demon, and so none of us can let it all out like Dean in the literal sense. But if you’re feeling wronged by somebody, something, or the world as a whole, it’s a great idea to let off some steam every so often.

    This can come in the form of an angry outburst, a lengthy crying session, a prolonged run, a few angry screams at the moon while on an empty beach. Whatever works for you to try and address the pain you’ve been feeling. This doesn’t have to occur very frequently, nor should it. It’s a way to address whatever problems you’ve been dealing with in life in a rapid manner, and come back with a renewed outlook on whatever you were dealing with.

    Sometimes everyone, even someone with as perfect of a personality as Dean Winchester, has to let out their demons, literally or figuratively.

    You can’t just bottle it up all of the time. Dean tried to do this, and it only sparked the series of events that led to him becoming a demon.

    In my opinion, Dean’s time on the dark side was good for him and his loved ones, as they got to hear just how much they’d been taking advantage of his loyalty and trust all these years.

    So there you have it. Dean isn’t just on Supernatural to be a pretty face. He’s there to represent the kind of flawed human with good intentions that we all aspire to be.

    Advertising

    Though his brother Sam has shown flashes of this as well, Dean really is the one who exudes the kind of loyalty, care, and resiliency that I and others envy.

    After 9 seasons of looking out for literally everyone, I think that Dean’s time as a demon was a breath of fresh air for the character.

    Will this form of his return?

    I hope so, because Dean deserves more than two episodes to rail against all of the people who stepped on him for years.

    Are you a Dean Winchester fan? Or just a fan of Supernatural?

    No matter which, or even none, you can benefit from the lessons the character teaches us!

    Featured photo credit: Dean Winchester/sandrieliribeiro via flickr.com

    Read Next