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What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control

What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control

Sometimes life can be downright nasty. People can wrong you, betray your trust, defy you, and put you in a situation where you are victimized. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. Have you wondered what happens if you refuse to play the role of a victim and take back control in your life?

Let’s first define what a victim is. A victim is someone who has been harmed, injured, or killed as a result of an accident, crime, or other event. Being victimized can come in all shapes and forms. You could have your trust betrayed by someone near and dear to you, you could be a victim of a horrible crime, you could be a victim of your own mindset. You can be victimized by friends, family members, strangers, your country, or even yourself. But you can do something about it, and it starts with you.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” — Eckhart Tolle

Oftentimes when we are victimized, we feel overwhelmed or even alone and struggle with coping appropriately. But after some time, playing the role of the victim is detrimental to our health. However, there are plenty of things you can do when you choose to reclaim your life.

Leave the situation

Ask yourself this question: can I leave or remove myself from the situation?

For example, if you’re in a relationship and your trust has been betrayed for whatever reason, can you leave the situation — can you put yourself out of harm’s way?

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Oftentimes, the environment we surround ourselves with will harbor the role of being a victim. It’s time to change that. You could go stay with a friend, family member, or get a hotel. Either way, refusing to leave a situation that only affords you the role of being a victim is not healthy.

Change the situation

Instead of waiting for a situation or a person to change, why not see what you can do? More often than not, you cannot force a person to change, but you can greatly influence change. You can act as a catalyst for that change.

For example, if you live with a family member or significant other who has a substance abuse problem and tends to be really mean to you when they’re under the influence, what can you do? You can start changing the situation by setting boundaries. You can take your power back by letting a particular person know what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

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You cannot change others, it’s up to them, but you can greatly influence their behaviors by changing how you interact with them.

Accept the situation and change your mindset

Accepting the situation and then changing your mindset should be applied to almost any situation where you have been victimized. Trust me, this is a hard thing to do, but you can do it. Accept that a tragic wrong has been done, accept it, put it in the past, and live in the here and now. It may take time, but the greatest gift you have is the present.

Changing your mindset when you have been victimized means you will no longer assume the role of a victim. You will reclaim your power and voice — they are yours and should have never been taken.  Regardless of how you were victimized, changing your mindset to know that you have complete power over your thoughts, actions, and reactions will change your life.

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What happens when you take your life back

You know what will happen when you decide to stop playing the victim and take your life back? A lifetime full of possibilities. You will have your personal power back. Your creative spark will glow to help solve problems where most other people wouldn’t know where to start.

By taking back your power and no longer playing the victim, you will grant yourself permission to have more freedom, as you will no longer depend on others. You will become the master of your own life. You set the pace and decide what road to take.

Yes, it will be hard — I’m not suggesting it will be easy. With perseverance and dedication, your hard work will pay off. In turn, you will have crafted a more relaxed life built on your own power.

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No one wishes to be victimized, but it happens. By changing your role from victim to personal hero, you can begin to reclaim your power and become the hero in your own story.

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Tara Massan

Founder of Be Moved, Life Coach and Writer.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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