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Why Empaths Feel Drained Around Fake People

Why Empaths Feel Drained Around Fake People

Humans with heightened emotional sensitivity were officially identified in 1991 by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. She discovered that between 15-20% of our population could be classified as Empaths. She even proposed that their brains process sensory inputs differently to others and emotion regulation functions differently.

Empaths are far more sensitive to emotion and behavior than many others. They are natural-born listeners, genuine, and are often very giving to others. But as they are so finely tuned to the environment, they can often see straight through fake personas and behaviors. They thrive on deep, honest relationships with others and they literally can’t stand dealing with pretentious characters.

Why Are Empaths Drained By Fake People?

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    As an empath interacting with someone disingenuous, you can’t help but see straight through these shards. It’s not a case of simply being able to ignore and glaze over this fact — it actually triggers a state of discomfort. Symptoms are both mental and physical, such as tiredness, frustration, clammy hands, or increased heart beat.

    But it’s not an outright dislike for fake people that pains you, it’s understanding that these personas are a protective smokescreen to hide their own pain. However, playing along with them is not something you can feel at all comfortable with.

    Behaviors And Situations That Trouble Empaths

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      Common examples of behaviors that trigger the alarm bells for an empath:

      • Giving out disingenuous compliments to others just to receive their acceptance
      • Embellishing stories or truths to gain the approval of others
      • Acting rough and tough to mask true feelings of vulnerability
      • Counseling jealously or resentment with false niceties
      • Easily compromising oneself in to gain acceptance from others
      • Forgoing one’s natural personality to try and act in another way

      Empaths’ Common Responses And Reactions

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        As an empath dealing with the mentioned behaviors, your instinctual reactions may include:

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        • Avoiding the person altogether due to the bad vibrations you feel when you are around them
        • Feelings of dread and uneasiness that are only lifted once you distance yourself from the source
        • Struggling to form sentences, answer questions about yourself, or even slurring speech
        • Experiencing feelings of guilt for not wanting to be around said person
        • Feeling physically nauseous after long interactions with fake people
        • Unwillingness to talk or contribute to the conversation any further
        • Wanting to simply drop everything and leave the situation as soon as possible

        The Best Ways To Deal With Fake People As An Empath

        It’s an inevitable fact of life that you will have to deal with fake people from time to time. As an empath, simply running away from these situations is not an option. Instead, you should use these 3 key principles to maintain your composure and avoid negative reactions when dealing with fake people.

        1. Always Speak Up For Yourself

        We often find ourselves in a conflicting situation: as a sensitive person, how can we speak up if we know it may hurt others? Well for a start, simply saying no to a request doesn’t make you the bad one. Agreeing against your better judgement only to let them down later is only going to make things worse for both of you!

        If it’s good for you, it’s good for others, and vice versa. Never be afraid to speak up for yourself and say no when needed. Others should control their emotions no matter your response, so it’s not your fault if they are upset.

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        2. Remember To Follow Your Own Path

        Another common mistake is getting carried away with trying to help everyone we can. While it’s great to help others, you must draw a line where it begins to cut into your own hopes and dreams. Otherwise, you will be left unfulfilled, empty, and unable to continue helping others.

        Instead, you need to be bold and follow your heart. Don’t let others stand in your way and remember that you can’t save the whole world. Don’t neglect self-improvement and the importance of following your own path.

        3. Understand You Can’t Please Everyone

        Being a people-pleaser may seem innocent enough, yet it can actually be highly detrimental to yourself. If you’re always going against yourself to please others, your own needs will get put on hold. Eventually, you will be left feeling drained, exhausted, and unable to please anyone.

        You would benefit from raising your self-esteem, and remember: your needs must be fulfilled before you can tend to others properly.

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        Last Updated on October 22, 2019

        How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

        How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

        When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

        With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

        Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

        By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

        So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

        From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

        “Attitude is Tattoo”

        Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

        If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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        Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

        Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

        It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

        When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

        Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

        Believe You Can Do It

        Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

        It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

        Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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        Embrace Failure

        Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

        Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

        Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

        Start Making the Change

        But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

        Why is that?

        Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

        It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

        So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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        Write down What You Want to Change

        Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

        Tell a Friend and Talk About It

        Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

        When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

        Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

        Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

        Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

        Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

        You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

        As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

        Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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        Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

        When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

        Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

        Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

        Final Thoughts

        You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

        The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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        Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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