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Why Empaths Feel Drained Around Fake People

Why Empaths Feel Drained Around Fake People

Humans with heightened emotional sensitivity were officially identified in 1991 by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. She discovered that between 15-20% of our population could be classified as Empaths. She even proposed that their brains process sensory inputs differently to others and emotion regulation functions differently.

Empaths are far more sensitive to emotion and behavior than many others. They are natural-born listeners, genuine, and are often very giving to others. But as they are so finely tuned to the environment, they can often see straight through fake personas and behaviors. They thrive on deep, honest relationships with others and they literally can’t stand dealing with pretentious characters.

Why Are Empaths Drained By Fake People?

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    As an empath interacting with someone disingenuous, you can’t help but see straight through these shards. It’s not a case of simply being able to ignore and glaze over this fact — it actually triggers a state of discomfort. Symptoms are both mental and physical, such as tiredness, frustration, clammy hands, or increased heart beat.

    But it’s not an outright dislike for fake people that pains you, it’s understanding that these personas are a protective smokescreen to hide their own pain. However, playing along with them is not something you can feel at all comfortable with.

    Behaviors And Situations That Trouble Empaths

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      Common examples of behaviors that trigger the alarm bells for an empath:

      • Giving out disingenuous compliments to others just to receive their acceptance
      • Embellishing stories or truths to gain the approval of others
      • Acting rough and tough to mask true feelings of vulnerability
      • Counseling jealously or resentment with false niceties
      • Easily compromising oneself in to gain acceptance from others
      • Forgoing one’s natural personality to try and act in another way

      Empaths’ Common Responses And Reactions

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        As an empath dealing with the mentioned behaviors, your instinctual reactions may include:

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        • Avoiding the person altogether due to the bad vibrations you feel when you are around them
        • Feelings of dread and uneasiness that are only lifted once you distance yourself from the source
        • Struggling to form sentences, answer questions about yourself, or even slurring speech
        • Experiencing feelings of guilt for not wanting to be around said person
        • Feeling physically nauseous after long interactions with fake people
        • Unwillingness to talk or contribute to the conversation any further
        • Wanting to simply drop everything and leave the situation as soon as possible

        The Best Ways To Deal With Fake People As An Empath

        It’s an inevitable fact of life that you will have to deal with fake people from time to time. As an empath, simply running away from these situations is not an option. Instead, you should use these 3 key principles to maintain your composure and avoid negative reactions when dealing with fake people.

        1. Always Speak Up For Yourself

        We often find ourselves in a conflicting situation: as a sensitive person, how can we speak up if we know it may hurt others? Well for a start, simply saying no to a request doesn’t make you the bad one. Agreeing against your better judgement only to let them down later is only going to make things worse for both of you!

        If it’s good for you, it’s good for others, and vice versa. Never be afraid to speak up for yourself and say no when needed. Others should control their emotions no matter your response, so it’s not your fault if they are upset.

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        2. Remember To Follow Your Own Path

        Another common mistake is getting carried away with trying to help everyone we can. While it’s great to help others, you must draw a line where it begins to cut into your own hopes and dreams. Otherwise, you will be left unfulfilled, empty, and unable to continue helping others.

        Instead, you need to be bold and follow your heart. Don’t let others stand in your way and remember that you can’t save the whole world. Don’t neglect self-improvement and the importance of following your own path.

        3. Understand You Can’t Please Everyone

        Being a people-pleaser may seem innocent enough, yet it can actually be highly detrimental to yourself. If you’re always going against yourself to please others, your own needs will get put on hold. Eventually, you will be left feeling drained, exhausted, and unable to please anyone.

        You would benefit from raising your self-esteem, and remember: your needs must be fulfilled before you can tend to others properly.

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        Last Updated on June 19, 2019

        6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

        6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

        I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

        Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

        It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

        1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

        It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

        Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

        When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

        2. Trust the Muse

        Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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        When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

        “The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

        The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

        If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

        The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

        Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

        3. Remember to Be Authentic

        Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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        How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

        For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

        One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

        Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

        Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

        4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

        I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

        One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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        Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

        A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

        Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

        5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

        It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

        We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

        If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

        You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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        6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

        As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

        The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

        Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

        Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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