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How To Start A Conversation With Anyone Without Awkward Silence

How To Start A Conversation With Anyone Without Awkward Silence

Have you ever cautiously approached a table full of fellow professionals at a lunch meeting, petrified to introduce yourself and chat them up? Or walked tongue-tied into a social gathering, facing a sea full of unfamiliar faces? Don’t fret, because we have some proven ways to break the ice and be that smooth talker who befriends strangers anywhere he or she goes.

What To Say First?

The easiest way to drum up the courage to start a conversation with a stranger is by simply introducing yourself. Social life expert David Morin says a straight forward “Hi, I’m David. How are you doing?” will work wonders in enticing the other person to engage in a friendly chat.

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Make An Observation

You can extend a compliment about the social event you’re at, the person’s outfit, hair, the guest speaker at the lunch meeting, whatever compliment you think would be pleasant and well received by anyone, Morin noted. But don’t go overboard with your praise. Do not use subjective words that aren’t appealing to everyone.

Inquire About The Person’s Presence There

You can ask how the person knows other people present and why they’re attending the event, but don’t come across as nosy. Are they employed by a business that is in the same industry as others at a lunch meeting? Are they friends with the host of a party? Morin recommended keeping the conversation flowing with this subject.

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Focus On Your New Friend

Be sure to not only start a conversation with genuine questions, but to keep the focus of the conversation two-thirds on your new acquaintance and one-third about yourself. Ask him or her where the person lives, if they like it, etc. You never know, you just might find some common ground with this subject. But don’t worry if you don’t share a lot of similarities; it isn’t necessary to narrow the window of newness between you and this stranger. Also, be sure the conversation doesn’t sound like a job interview with you grilling your new acquaintance, Morin said. Keep the tone conversational, light and casual, where it flows easily between the two of you. Be sure to share snippets about yourself to counterbalance this person’s bits and pieces he or she is offering to the conversation.

Work Or School

This is usually a great subject to start a conversation with, Morin emphasized. Strangers often will chat quite a bit about where they work, what they do, how much they enjoy their job or career, or where they attend school and what they’re studying. Don’t focus too much of the conversation on careers, though, unless you’re at a work function, because that line of conversation can dry up quickly. But you might find mutual interests and speaking about something familiar often puts people at ease.

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Avoid Current Events

While some individuals enjoy chatting up the latest happenings and big news, some people aren’t comfortable talking about these heavier subjects. Morin said it also can cause a conversation to take a wrong turn if a controversial or sensitive subject crops up.

How About Hobbies?

If you start a conversation revolving around a stranger’s interests and hobbies, you may tap into a vein that starts him or him talking for some time. Morin said there’s potential for more gently prodding questions, such as “How did you get started?” and “How do you do that?”

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So the next time you find yourself in a room of strangers, find someone who looks open and friendly, walk up, extend your hand for a handshake and simply say, “Hi! We haven’t met yet.” Then confidently steer the flow of conversation between the two of you. You just might find yourself networking with a key player in your profession or making a new friend.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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