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How To Tell If You Are In Dire Need Of A Life Makeover

How To Tell If You Are In Dire Need Of A Life Makeover

One of the tenets that I hold in life is that every day you have the possibility to alter your life completely. The other side of this, however, is that you can also make poor choices every day. The continuity of day-to-day life can easily change your perspective and leave you blind to the effects that these choices can have in a broader time spectrum (like a year or two). Not surprisingly, this (and a lot of other factors and global influences) is the reason why many people are not feeling especially content with their lives. This feeling is prevalent in youth, who oftentimes feel that their youthful spirit is constrained in their daily life.

Your emotions are your body’s way of signalling whether things are going well or not. And if you’ve have recently felt some of the things that I will mention below, perhaps you should think about changing your life. Ultimately, only you have the power to turn things around.

Feeling like nothing ever changes and the prevalence of the day-to-day routine

When your friends ask you what’s new, what is your answer? Do you answer with “Oh, nothing much” every time? Have you stopped one day and looked behind you, only to see that you have seemingly made no progress whatsoever in the last two or three years? Doing the same things and hanging out with the same people every day can seriously diminish your ability to grow both emotionally and intellectually.

This feeling of being stuck in place is probably the first red flag that your life needs to change. Now, I’m not saying that going skydiving every other day or living a life full of fresh daily adventures is something that everyone needs to pursue. Little things can break the routine, too. Go to a new bar, meet new people, visit events near you, or get interested in a new hobby.

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A simple change of environment will do wonders for you and, after a while, you will feel that you are growing on every level. For example, I volunteered for a hosting program at my university where I got to meet people from all over the world and find out about their cultures and show them mine. It made me realize that there are so many interests to pursue that my life will never be boring again.

Dissatisfaction with your career

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    A career is a difficult choice that we are all “forced” to make in our late teens and early 20s through our choice of majors at university. However, what feels appealing at that young and naïve age does not always come through for some people, especially once they see the real ins-and-outs of what they have chosen to do. Some career paths will require you to challenge your moral stances, others will be more conflicting with your personality, and some can leave you feeling overqualified or without any prospect of advancing.

    In my line of work, some beginning writers can be frustrated by the moral qualms of ghostwriting. My recommendation was always that they should perhaps think about some other career if they feel they cannot write and have someone else take all the credit.

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    Think about whether the job you have is the job you like doing. That is the most important thing about any career. You have to enjoy it. And I don’t mean pretend to enjoy it, you really have to at least like it, if not love it. Remember, your career is supposed to be for life, so think about whether you’d like to do this forever. If the answer is negative, then I suggest pursuing something that is more in line with your personality and ethics, something that will not leave you feeling down all the time.

    Jealousy of the people around you and their “perfect” lives

    The biggest revelation that my life definitely needed to change was when I started feeling jealousy towards people that were around me. They all seemed to have better-paying jobs than me, to have more fun when we were out, to have their lives completely in order, and just to enjoy themselves more. And, while I would usually be happy for anyone who’s got “everything figured out” (although, no one really has, but that’s a topic for some other article), slowly I’ve begun feeling that they had more luck, that they had been dealt better cards. This slowly grew into jealousy which prevented me from seeing it in a positive perspective.

    The moment I realized I was jealous of my best friends, I realized that I had to rein in my horses and find a way to stop this. Maybe it was my behavior that needed to change. They always strived to do their best in every situation, and I needed to learn from them and their dedication to create my own happiness. All of them got to where they were by putting in their best effort, so I decided I would do that, too. It seems to have worked so far. At least, I now feel happy for my friends and their “perfect” lives again, without a hint of jealousy.

    Financial instability and unsustainability

    Trying to fulfill your life with hedonistic pleasures and new things and experiences can often lead to spending money like there is no tomorrow. This lavish spending is not always sustainable in the long run, and sooner or later all those credits that you have taken out will come back to haunt you. It is inevitable. This is why it is much better to curtail your spending habits and start saving on little things than to accrue credit, which will leave you financially impaired at a later date.

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    Start by realizing which things in your life are luxuries that you can do without presently. This does not mean giving them up forever, just until you’ve progressed enough in your career and achieved a better salary level. Then start introducing them back one by one and see how strained your budget becomes. You can even look at some things you didn’t even know can save you money. This way, you will have to give up fewer luxuries.

    Constant tiredness

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      Dissatisfaction with your life can affect not only your mental health, but your physical health as well, as one is heavily influenced by the other. It often leaves people without a will to do anything. What’s worse is that it can turn into a constant feeling of physical tiredness, as if one has no strength to get out of bed in the morning or to fully commit to anything during the day.

      One of the best ways to break this is to (perhaps ironically) get physically active. I know it may sound hard when you are constantly tired, but activating your muscles will pump some adrenaline into your body and some endorphins into your brain, increasing your both your energy levels and your overall happiness. You don’t have to start going to the gym and pack a bunch of muscles. Regular morning exercises like push-ups, sit-ups, and even proper stretching can revitalize your body and give you the energy to make it through the day better than any coffee.

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      Like I said before, ultimately it is up to you to make the decisions that will turn your life around. No one else can make them for you or force you to follow through with them. With a little willpower, anything is possible. Living your life in a day-to-day manner, just waiting for it to pass, is a sure way to waste it all. And the only one responsible for your life and your happiness is you — which is the biggest life lesson that we all have to learn.

      Featured photo credit: Kate Williams via unsplash.com

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      Aleksandar Ilic

      Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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      Last Updated on September 20, 2018

      How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

      How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

      Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

      If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

      1. Breathe

      The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

      • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
      • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
      • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

      Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

      2. Loosen up

      After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

      Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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      3. Chew slowly

      Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

      Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

      Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

      4. Let go

      Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

      The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

      It’s not. Promise.

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      Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

      Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

      21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

      5. Enjoy the journey

      Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

      Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

      6. Look at the big picture

      The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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      Will this matter to me…

      • Next week?
      • Next month?
      • Next year?
      • In 10 years?

      Hint: No, it won’t.

      I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

      Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

      7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

      You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

      Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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      8. Practice patience every day

      Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

      • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
      • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
      • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

      Final thoughts

      Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

      Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

      Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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