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How To Tell If You Are In Dire Need Of A Life Makeover

How To Tell If You Are In Dire Need Of A Life Makeover

One of the tenets that I hold in life is that every day you have the possibility to alter your life completely. The other side of this, however, is that you can also make poor choices every day. The continuity of day-to-day life can easily change your perspective and leave you blind to the effects that these choices can have in a broader time spectrum (like a year or two). Not surprisingly, this (and a lot of other factors and global influences) is the reason why many people are not feeling especially content with their lives. This feeling is prevalent in youth, who oftentimes feel that their youthful spirit is constrained in their daily life.

Your emotions are your body’s way of signalling whether things are going well or not. And if you’ve have recently felt some of the things that I will mention below, perhaps you should think about changing your life. Ultimately, only you have the power to turn things around.

Feeling like nothing ever changes and the prevalence of the day-to-day routine

When your friends ask you what’s new, what is your answer? Do you answer with “Oh, nothing much” every time? Have you stopped one day and looked behind you, only to see that you have seemingly made no progress whatsoever in the last two or three years? Doing the same things and hanging out with the same people every day can seriously diminish your ability to grow both emotionally and intellectually.

This feeling of being stuck in place is probably the first red flag that your life needs to change. Now, I’m not saying that going skydiving every other day or living a life full of fresh daily adventures is something that everyone needs to pursue. Little things can break the routine, too. Go to a new bar, meet new people, visit events near you, or get interested in a new hobby.

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A simple change of environment will do wonders for you and, after a while, you will feel that you are growing on every level. For example, I volunteered for a hosting program at my university where I got to meet people from all over the world and find out about their cultures and show them mine. It made me realize that there are so many interests to pursue that my life will never be boring again.

Dissatisfaction with your career

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    A career is a difficult choice that we are all “forced” to make in our late teens and early 20s through our choice of majors at university. However, what feels appealing at that young and naïve age does not always come through for some people, especially once they see the real ins-and-outs of what they have chosen to do. Some career paths will require you to challenge your moral stances, others will be more conflicting with your personality, and some can leave you feeling overqualified or without any prospect of advancing.

    In my line of work, some beginning writers can be frustrated by the moral qualms of ghostwriting. My recommendation was always that they should perhaps think about some other career if they feel they cannot write and have someone else take all the credit.

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    Think about whether the job you have is the job you like doing. That is the most important thing about any career. You have to enjoy it. And I don’t mean pretend to enjoy it, you really have to at least like it, if not love it. Remember, your career is supposed to be for life, so think about whether you’d like to do this forever. If the answer is negative, then I suggest pursuing something that is more in line with your personality and ethics, something that will not leave you feeling down all the time.

    Jealousy of the people around you and their “perfect” lives

    The biggest revelation that my life definitely needed to change was when I started feeling jealousy towards people that were around me. They all seemed to have better-paying jobs than me, to have more fun when we were out, to have their lives completely in order, and just to enjoy themselves more. And, while I would usually be happy for anyone who’s got “everything figured out” (although, no one really has, but that’s a topic for some other article), slowly I’ve begun feeling that they had more luck, that they had been dealt better cards. This slowly grew into jealousy which prevented me from seeing it in a positive perspective.

    The moment I realized I was jealous of my best friends, I realized that I had to rein in my horses and find a way to stop this. Maybe it was my behavior that needed to change. They always strived to do their best in every situation, and I needed to learn from them and their dedication to create my own happiness. All of them got to where they were by putting in their best effort, so I decided I would do that, too. It seems to have worked so far. At least, I now feel happy for my friends and their “perfect” lives again, without a hint of jealousy.

    Financial instability and unsustainability

    Trying to fulfill your life with hedonistic pleasures and new things and experiences can often lead to spending money like there is no tomorrow. This lavish spending is not always sustainable in the long run, and sooner or later all those credits that you have taken out will come back to haunt you. It is inevitable. This is why it is much better to curtail your spending habits and start saving on little things than to accrue credit, which will leave you financially impaired at a later date.

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    Start by realizing which things in your life are luxuries that you can do without presently. This does not mean giving them up forever, just until you’ve progressed enough in your career and achieved a better salary level. Then start introducing them back one by one and see how strained your budget becomes. You can even look at some things you didn’t even know can save you money. This way, you will have to give up fewer luxuries.

    Constant tiredness

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      Dissatisfaction with your life can affect not only your mental health, but your physical health as well, as one is heavily influenced by the other. It often leaves people without a will to do anything. What’s worse is that it can turn into a constant feeling of physical tiredness, as if one has no strength to get out of bed in the morning or to fully commit to anything during the day.

      One of the best ways to break this is to (perhaps ironically) get physically active. I know it may sound hard when you are constantly tired, but activating your muscles will pump some adrenaline into your body and some endorphins into your brain, increasing your both your energy levels and your overall happiness. You don’t have to start going to the gym and pack a bunch of muscles. Regular morning exercises like push-ups, sit-ups, and even proper stretching can revitalize your body and give you the energy to make it through the day better than any coffee.

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      Like I said before, ultimately it is up to you to make the decisions that will turn your life around. No one else can make them for you or force you to follow through with them. With a little willpower, anything is possible. Living your life in a day-to-day manner, just waiting for it to pass, is a sure way to waste it all. And the only one responsible for your life and your happiness is you — which is the biggest life lesson that we all have to learn.

      Featured photo credit: Kate Williams via unsplash.com

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      Aleksandar Ilic

      Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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      Last Updated on January 21, 2020

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

      Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

      your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

        Why You Need a Vision

        Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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        How to Create Your Life Vision

        Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

        What Do You Want?

        The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

        It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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        Some tips to guide you:

        • Remember to ask why you want certain things
        • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
        • Give yourself permission to dream.
        • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
        • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

        Some questions to start your exploration:

        • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
        • What would you like to have more of in your life?
        • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
        • What are your secret passions and dreams?
        • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
        • What do you want your relationships to be like?
        • What qualities would you like to develop?
        • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
        • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
        • What would you most like to accomplish?
        • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

        It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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        What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

        Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

        A few prompts to get you started:

        • What will you have accomplished already?
        • How will you feel about yourself?
        • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
        • What does your ideal day look like?
        • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
        • What would you be doing?
        • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
        • How are you dressed?
        • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
        • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
        • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

        It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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        Plan Backwards

        It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

        • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
        • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
        • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
        • What important actions would you have had to take?
        • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
        • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
        • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
        • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
        • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

        Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

        It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

        Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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