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10 Secrets to Looking and Feeling Great (Inside and Out)

10 Secrets to Looking and Feeling Great (Inside and Out)

Nobody is immune to waking up in the morning and not feeling beautiful, for no particular reason. It happens to the best of us, but this feeling will dim any confidence and put a damper on the day. Even on the worst days, it is possible to get into the mindset of feeling amazing inside and out—here’s how!

1. Eat Well

What you put into your body does impact your mood. Avoid foods that are processed, laced with antibiotics, and high in carbs or sugar. The chemical that makes you happy, serotonin, is primarily made in the gut. Watch what you eat!

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2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Each person is unique, therefore everyone has positive attributes that others may lack. Remember, that to feel beautiful you must view yourself as an individual, and not as a person that is to be compared to someone else. This is an awful trap that causes people to measure their worth against that of others.

3. Get Plenty of Exercise

This is one of the best ways to feel happy and healthy. It is a natural mood booster due to the endorphins that are released. It doesn’t have to be a full hour workout, put on your walking shoes and take a short walk. Even a simple shoulder workout will release these endorphins while working to eliminate arm flab.

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4. Dress How You Want to Feel

Wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt are comfortable and will put you in a mood to relax, but if this has become your norm, aim to dress up at least twice a week. This will lift your mood and boost your confidence, making you feel as beautiful as you truly are.

5. Find Peace of Mind

Think about what you value in life, and are you living true to them? Are you constantly worried about the little things? Are you overwhelmed all the time? Take a look at your daily life and cut out the things that you can- it will give you more free time and peace of mind.

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6. Heighten Your Facial Care

Discover a new beauty product, whether it is a new foundation for your makeup or a product that will help to get rid of acne fast. These are things that are small changes, but will no doubt change the way that you feel. Knowing that you are taking the best care of your skin will add to your confidence.

7. Confidence is Key

This is how people become the center of attention- regardless of what they look like. When you want to look the part you must act like it. Get rid of the negative thoughts and reward yourself with positive reassurance. Focus on what you love about yourself, and know that you are fabulous every day.

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8. Treat Yourself

Take a break when you feel that it is needed, and pamper yourself when you feel that it is needed. Feelings of anxiety, stress, and tiredness will not help you with feeling beautiful. Choose to take part in any relaxing activities that you love.

9. Be Aware of your Body and Facial Expressions

Good posture says that an individual feels confident and beautiful without using verbal communication. Even on days that you do not feel beautiful, try to sit and stand with your shoulders back, not slouching. Smiling is also an instant way to boost a mood for yourself and others that catch it.

10. Create Something

Allow your inner beauty to reflect the beauty that is inside of you. Create spaces that are pretty to look at, whether it is an updated arrangement on a coffee table or a new flower box outside of a large window.

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Sasha Brown

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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