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What To Do When Your Life Sucks

What To Do When Your Life Sucks

Often it’s when you least expect it and when things are going really well that life can sucker punch you and turn sour. It’s the surprise of a streak of bad luck that can have the worst impact. It seems that when one thing goes wrong, everything starts to unravel.

Whenever life gets you down, people will often tell you to look at the bright side; to find the positives and compare yourself to those who are less fortunate than you. This isn’t very helpful. In fact it makes you feel worse.

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Allow yourself to feel bad

You are entitled to feel awful once in a while and to acknowledge that whatever it is that is getting you down in life, is valid and justified. It could be an unexpected illness or losing your job, you may have suddenly faced some financial difficulty or received some bad news. Whatever it is, you have every right to complain. Being negative is not the worst thing you can do. In fact, it is a healthy and necessary response to help you through the process of healing and getting back on track.

Take responsibility and then move on

The most important thing you can do is to understand the difference between blaming yourself and taking responsibility. Whether you have made a bad decision and the downfall is entirely your fault, or you have had absolutely no control over why your life sucks, it’s important to accept what has happened and to learn from it.

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There is no point punishing yourself. Be accountable for your actions, think about whether or not you would behave the same way given another chance and then once you have made sense of it all, try to move on.

Do things for yourself

Another way to soften the blow is to be extra generous and kind to yourself. Now is the time to spoil yourself in simple and healthy ways. Take a break and step back from life to regather your thoughts and recenter yourself. A walk in nature, a swim in the ocean or a soothing bath are easy and inexpensive ways to comfort yourself.

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Focus on your health, both mental and physical. Eat well and drink plenty of water. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. Make time to do the things you love and spend time with people who make you happy and also accept yourself when you are sad or angry. Talk about it. Write about it. Get it out of your system. Listen to or make music. These are the things that will give you permission to explore your bad feelings and find the good ones.

Face what happened

Finally, look forward to solutions. Take solace in the knowledge and certainty that every moment passes and this feeling doesn’t have to last forever. Sometimes the only thing you can do is wait a situation out, particularly if you are grieving. A broken relationship, the death of someone close, loss of any kind is heartbreaking and makes you miserable.

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Denying your emotions or burying them inside you by not properly reflecting on them is unhealthy and will cause more damage in the long run. If you do the hard work immediately, which could just be a matter of enduring it, your healing will come eventually.

Know that it will make you stronger

You will learn from your experiences and become stronger because of it. Everybody goes through difficulties in life, some more than others and the only way to grow is to go through both the good and the bad. It is easy to be hard on yourself and feel guilty about thinking that your life sucks, especially if you are aware of your privilege.

When you know about what is going on around the world or even to people in your life, it’s easy to feel like you aren’t entitled to complain and in some instances this can lift you out of your depression. In the meantime have some sad days, get cranky, be disgruntled about things and look your anxiety in the eye. It could be just the motivation you need to make some changes in your life.

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Diane Koopman

Writer, Author, Novelist, Self-Publisher

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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