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What To Do When Your Life Sucks

What To Do When Your Life Sucks

Often it’s when you least expect it and when things are going really well that life can sucker punch you and turn sour. It’s the surprise of a streak of bad luck that can have the worst impact. It seems that when one thing goes wrong, everything starts to unravel.

Whenever life gets you down, people will often tell you to look at the bright side; to find the positives and compare yourself to those who are less fortunate than you. This isn’t very helpful. In fact it makes you feel worse.

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Allow yourself to feel bad

You are entitled to feel awful once in a while and to acknowledge that whatever it is that is getting you down in life, is valid and justified. It could be an unexpected illness or losing your job, you may have suddenly faced some financial difficulty or received some bad news. Whatever it is, you have every right to complain. Being negative is not the worst thing you can do. In fact, it is a healthy and necessary response to help you through the process of healing and getting back on track.

Take responsibility and then move on

The most important thing you can do is to understand the difference between blaming yourself and taking responsibility. Whether you have made a bad decision and the downfall is entirely your fault, or you have had absolutely no control over why your life sucks, it’s important to accept what has happened and to learn from it.

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There is no point punishing yourself. Be accountable for your actions, think about whether or not you would behave the same way given another chance and then once you have made sense of it all, try to move on.

Do things for yourself

Another way to soften the blow is to be extra generous and kind to yourself. Now is the time to spoil yourself in simple and healthy ways. Take a break and step back from life to regather your thoughts and recenter yourself. A walk in nature, a swim in the ocean or a soothing bath are easy and inexpensive ways to comfort yourself.

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Focus on your health, both mental and physical. Eat well and drink plenty of water. Exercise is a natural antidepressant. Make time to do the things you love and spend time with people who make you happy and also accept yourself when you are sad or angry. Talk about it. Write about it. Get it out of your system. Listen to or make music. These are the things that will give you permission to explore your bad feelings and find the good ones.

Face what happened

Finally, look forward to solutions. Take solace in the knowledge and certainty that every moment passes and this feeling doesn’t have to last forever. Sometimes the only thing you can do is wait a situation out, particularly if you are grieving. A broken relationship, the death of someone close, loss of any kind is heartbreaking and makes you miserable.

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Denying your emotions or burying them inside you by not properly reflecting on them is unhealthy and will cause more damage in the long run. If you do the hard work immediately, which could just be a matter of enduring it, your healing will come eventually.

Know that it will make you stronger

You will learn from your experiences and become stronger because of it. Everybody goes through difficulties in life, some more than others and the only way to grow is to go through both the good and the bad. It is easy to be hard on yourself and feel guilty about thinking that your life sucks, especially if you are aware of your privilege.

When you know about what is going on around the world or even to people in your life, it’s easy to feel like you aren’t entitled to complain and in some instances this can lift you out of your depression. In the meantime have some sad days, get cranky, be disgruntled about things and look your anxiety in the eye. It could be just the motivation you need to make some changes in your life.

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Diane Koopman

Writer, Author, Novelist, Self-Publisher

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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