Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 9, 2020

Why Does Life Suck So Bad Sometimes? (And How to Fix It)

Why Does Life Suck So Bad Sometimes? (And How to Fix It)

Why does life suck? That may be a question that comes up when you are faced with many difficult challenges that are completely out of your control. Besides the coronavirus epidemic we’re all facing right now, there’s also death, disease, bankruptcy, injustice, mental health issues, illness, and the list goes on.

There are so many more things that make life so hard. It also feels like they come in waves; one bad thing happens, and then they keep coming, like the world wants to kick you when you are down.

So why does life suck sometimes? There are times when it has nothing to do with you, how hard you are trying in life, or how good of a person you are. Life gets hard, bad things happen, and sometimes it just plain sucks.

The fact that life sucks sometimes is never going to stop because life is filled with challenges and difficult moments that we simply can’t avoid. Even if you had unlimited money, fame, or fortune, you wouldn’t be able to avoid the inevitable difficulties.

The Good News

If life is always going to suck, and adversity is always going to be coming for you, you can’t control that.

So stop trying. You can’t control anything in this world except yourself and your reactions. It’s time to stop focusing on the suck and begin focusing on the good in your life. Life is all about perspective, and perhaps right now you are choosing to obsess about the negative, the lack, the suck.

This is addictive because we are biologically programmed to do so, to assess all situations for danger through the negativity bias.[1]

We are biologically programmed to focus on negativity because it keeps up safe and forces us to avoid things that may cause us harm or discomfort. We have evolved since the days of constant physical threats coming from wild animals or ominous sounds, but our survival instincts have remained intact. Because of this, we focus on the negative, and we now have to learn how to fight with the feelings that naturally arise from this.

Advertising

Since we are biologically predisposed to look for danger, this trait is exploited by the media to sell products to you, which you can’t control. You also can’t control the outbreak of disease, your friend’s poor choice to treat you like trash, or the price of food going up.

None of this is within your control. Instead, it’s time to let go of the fear mongering and focus on the things you can control.

What to Do When Life Sucks

You can choose to follow your Neanderthal programming and focus on fears you can’t control, or you can choose to focus on all the abundance you have in your life. We have never lived in a safer or more abundant time in human history. With that in mind, here are my top six ways to stop yourself from asking “Why does life suck so much?” and start embracing the abundance.

1. Focus on the Good

You have a lot going on in your life, and some of it is unavoidably positive. If you’re reading this, you likely have a safe place to sleep every night, people who love you, and unlimited access to food.

Instead of focusing on all the good things we have, we often focus on what went wrong, what we don’t have, and what isn’t good enough in our lives.

Society has set an impossible standard that encourages you to feel like you don’t have enough and that you aren’t enough. Relentless sales ads convince you that everything about you is flawed and can be repaired if only you purchased this one product.

Instead of focusing so much on why life sucks, spend time focusing on all the good you have in your life. Every day, write something good that happened and do more things that spread goodness.

One act of kindness a day gives your brain a boost of oxytocin. It will also give the person you are helping a boost of oxytocin as well, and anybody watching you be kind also gets the boost[2].

Advertising

Being kind spreads love and positivity, so start being kind and helping more with no expectation of a reward. Your life will get easier when you have your natural brain chemistry working with you.

2. Express Gratitude

Another way to focus on the positive in your life is to express gratitude daily. Every day, find something you are grateful for and write about it, post it on your social media (for shared oxytocin release), or find a way to express it through art. Send someone flowers, or simply take a moment to tell someone how much they mean to you.

Gratitude is the antidote to misery. It costs you nothing and spreads more goodness into the world. The best part is that you can inspire someone else to express gratitude, kindness, and happiness.

Gratitude and kindness are infectious and can help you respond when you’re asking “Why does life suck so much?”

3. Handle Problems Head on

Challenges that cause life to suck are going to keep coming, and they are going to hit hard. Don’t bury your head in the sand, as that only leads to delayed suckage and an extra dose of anxiety.

When something hits you hard, don’t ignore it and hope it goes away. Grab a notepad, write out the problem, and then write down possible solutions. If you’re having trouble, ask your closest friends what they think. Ask them for some emotional support to carry out your plan if necessary.

Try not to create excuses about how you are busy or tired. Taking a moment to handle your problem head on will not only save you time in the long run but also relieve your emotional struggle when life sucks.

It will also energize you to move forward knowing that something has tried to knock you down but that you rose to the challenge, took control, and defeated it.

Advertising

4. Take Mental Health Days

Sometimes we experience real pain, loss, and suffering that make life really suck. The death of your best friend, the loss of your job, or difficulties in a relationship may present hard times that drag you down.

In these cases, taking a day or more to stop and face the feelings can help you return to a sense of balance. Try to face your grief and know that no matter how inconvenient it is, it will take time to heal.

The world is getting more complicated, painful, and stressful, and the more this happens, the better you have to take care of yourself. We are overwhelmed every single day with information that inundates our brains to the point of collapse.

All this pressure means that something has to give, and often the first thing that goes is taking care of our mental health. We ignore our feelings because we have decided they are bad, and instead, we focus on our loss and sadness.

To counter all of this negativity, slow down, take a deep breath, and prioritize your mental health. Clear out all of those unhelpful emotions so you can feel more balanced[3].

5. Think of Adversity as a Way to Grow

It should be no secret that many moments of growth and great leaps of personal development come from making it through suckage and adversity. Successful people will tell you that they wouldn’t trade their pain and their struggle, for without it they wouldn’t be who they are.

Adversity is a test from the world to you to see if you have grown enough to be able to face the things you want to achieve. You have dreams and goals that are out of your reach, and you get challenged until you grow into a strong enough person to handle the next level of challenges.

This is why it is so important to not only embrace challenge and pain but to ask how you can become a better person from it.

Advertising

6. Quit the Negativity on Social Media

Nothing promotes a negative, the-world-sucks mindset quite as much as the news and media outlets on social media. The world is struggling, but it shouldn’t all land on your shoulders.

If you want to feel like you are doing something positive, pick something you are passionate about and do it with all the spare time you now have not scrolling through negative news stories[4].

When life sucks, improve your relationship with social media.

    In the meantime, use less plastic, eat as local as you can, and do the best you can to live guilt-free. Unsubscribe to all the negativity and drama that the news and social media are constantly blasting at you, and you will immediately gain more peace of mind.

    Conclusion

    These are my quick steps to help you start to feel better and move forward when you start asking “Why does life suck?” You need to take care of yourself, and that may mean more than just buying yourself gifts, giving yourself half-hearted compliments, and or taking a bath.

    It may be necessary to give up the compulsion to listen to the news, make time to face your feelings, express gratitude, and focus on the good in your life instead of what’s lacking.

    The hits come, but when you get back up, make sure you are walking in a positive direction. One day, you will thank your struggle, for without it, you would not have found your strength.

    More on Overcoming Hard Times

    Featured photo credit: Amber Kipp via unsplash.com

    Reference

    More by this author

    Jade Nyx

    Qualified Life Coach

    Why Does Life Suck So Bad Sometimes? (And How to Fix It) How to Finally Reach Your Goals by Creating Dependable Accountability Want to Stop Procrastinating? Think Like a Rhino. Is Social Media Ruining Our Lives, Or Are We? How to Rebound from Burnout in Just 8 Hours

    Trending in Mental Strength

    1 Why Does Life Suck So Bad Sometimes? (And How to Fix It) 2 Why You’re Feeling Empty and How to Fill the Void 3 Feeling Defeated in Life? 9 Ways to Take Back Your Power 4 What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important for Success? 5 How to Know Yourself and Seek Self Improvement

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on November 9, 2020

    Why You’re Feeling Empty and How to Fill the Void

    Why You’re Feeling Empty and How to Fill the Void

    Let’s imagine the situation where you struggle with ignoring and escaping the feeling of extreme purposelessness and emptiness. Although you know a little about what you enjoy and want from life and what you want to achieve in future, you are still feeling empty and find yourself tortured by episodes of loneliness.

    If you’re asking yourself, “Why do I feel empty,” keep reading and learn what these feelings of emptiness mean and how you can begin to overcome them.

    What It Means When You’re Feeling Empty

    Inner emptiness is caused by a lack of love, according to psychology expert Dr. Margaret Paul.[1] When you don’t love yourself, ignore your feelings, and always try to get attention and approval from others, you can experience feeling empty

    All people are creative and full of potential, but not all of them use this potential and, thus, feel as though they’re wasting their time and energy. We try to fill the void with food, relationships, work, and things that are supposed to distract our attention.

    Emptiness can be caused by an unfulfilling job, a lack of close friendships, a toxic relationship, or a simple lack of self-love and compassion. Whatever the cause, emptiness can be overcome if you’re willing to make some key changes to your routine and thought processes.

    Symptoms of Emptiness and Void

    In order to find the solution to the problem, we should learn how to tell whether we’re feeling empty inside. Understanding emptiness calls us to learn more about our inner feelings.

    Let’s have a look at the most common symptoms of emptiness and void:

    • You don’t understand who you are and your purpose in life.
    • You are full of negative thoughts.
    • You always seek for approval from family and friends.
    • You don’t know how to explain your feelings.

    Sometimes, emptiness feels like an inner void or emotional numbness

    Advertising

    . It may manifest as anxiety or depression if it has become a long-term feeling. If you feel as though you’ve lost a sense of direction, you may be experiencing emptiness.

    Why Do I Feel Empty?

    The most important thing to realize is that emptiness is a state of lack.

    Some people who struggle with a chronic sense of emptiness had parents who were incapable of intimate relationships with them. When you do not get enough love and attention in childhood, you start to believe that you are not good enough. That means that the real cause of inner emptiness is a lack of emotional connection and demonstration of love.[2]

    As a result, this feeling can travel through our lives like baggage. The lack of belonging becomes a traumatic imprint that becomes so acutely uncomfortable that we are willing to do anything we can to get away from that particular feeling.

    Although this feeling is not uncommon for many people, if left unattended, it can result in a mental illness, such as depression, or substance use disorders. Furthermore, people tend to get out of this feeling with unhealthy habits, which increases the chance of alcohol and drug addiction.

    For these reasons, having a clue about what is really important to you will help to identify the cause of your feelings of emptiness.

    How to Deal With Emptiness

    The key to fighting emptiness is to find out what you are missing. Is it a sense of belonging, meaning, or interpersonal connection? Here are several suggestions from leading experts on how to recognize and deal with inner emptiness.

    1. Refocus and Rebalance Yourself

    According to Kaitlyn Slight, a marriage and family therapist in Raleigh, N.C., we should focus on ourselves and spend more time thinking about our desires.[3]

    Advertising

    In order to be in a positive state of body and mind, you can spend several minutes meditating or exercising.

    The easiest way to rebalance yourself emotionally and physically is to take a warm bath.[4] Many researches have shown that bathing has many benefits, including pain relief, enhanced mobility, and improved psychological well-being.[5]

    While it’s easy to get distracted by all the negative emotions you’re feeling, it’s important to re-center yourself by practicing self-care through exercise, healthy eating, meditation, and other healthy habits.

    Try to pick up some of these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

    2. Discover Your Needs With the Help of Others

    Everybody has needs, and it’s important to realize that we can’t always achieve them without help from others. We think that we have to meet them by ourselves, but sometimes, it is important to ask for help.

    Asking for help can resolve many life issues and can be a first step towards meeting your needs. For example, if you’re lacking interpersonal connection, ask a family member to introduce you to some new people. Just one introduction can lead to many new connections.

    If you’re having trouble motivating yourself to get to the gym to exercise, find a friend who also wants to start so that you can act as accountability partners. Whatever you may be lacking, there’s likely someone out there who can help you if you’re willing to reach out.

    If you find it difficult to ask for help, check out these tips: How to Ask for Help When You Feel Silly to Do So

    Advertising

    3. Appreciate and Treasure What You Have

    Another way to stop feeling empty is through gratitude. Research suggests that feeling grateful is a very important positive emotion that allows people to expand their worldview and the view of themselves, which later leads to building better social relations and skills.[6] It is a sort of spiritual practice that helps you tap into a constant inner smile. 

    This means that individuals who are thankful are also more satisfied with their relationships with friends and family. They are also less stressed and much happier overall(The Wellnest: 5 CRAZY-GOOD REASONS TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE)).

    Practice gratitude to stop feeling empty

      Try to be appreciative of what is around you by noticing all good things we take for granted. A simple compliment given during the day will show you how much positive energy you can create.

      If you enjoy writing, start a gratitude journal. Take 5 or 10 minutes each morning or night to write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for.

      These 32 Things You Should Be Grateful For can inspire you to be more grateful today.

      4. Never Stop Learning New Things

      Neurobiologists have found out that learning something new has motivational effects similar to dopamine, which leads to emotional stimulation.[7] Therefore, it’s important to not only review information you’ve learned before, but to also push yourself to learn something new each day or week.

      You can tap into educational podcasts or YouTube videos to do this. TED talks are often quite short, meaning you can squeeze some learning into even your busiest of days.

      Advertising

      If you like to read, buy a few used books and make it a goal to finish them within a certain time frame. Even fiction books have a lot to teach about the human condition and psychology, so just find something that interests you.

      5. Ask for a Professional Help If Needed

      Many people cannot identify the reason behind this feeling, no matter how long they analyze themselves and search for a problem.

      Find a good mental health professional who will help you explore your feelings and understand why you’re feeling empty. They’ll help ground you in the present moment so that you can become whole again.

      You can also seek out support groups in order to connect with others who may be experiencing similar problems.

      Try to overcome the sensation that seeking professional help means that you’re weak, because it certainly doesn’t. Asking for help is a sign of incredible strength and bravery, and once you begin to receive the benefits, you’ll wish you had done it sooner.

      Final Thoughts

      Finding the cause of inner emptiness can be a long, challenging process. However, instead of distracting yourself by filling this emptiness with things like shopping, food, alcohol, and drugs, find out what makes you feel incomplete and regain your happiness.

      More to Help You Fill That Void

      Featured photo credit: Fabrizio Verrecchia via unsplash.com

      Reference

      Read Next