I’ve been on a lot of first dates. Some were successful, others not so much. A first date can determine the possibility of a second date, as well as the fate of a potential relationship.
The first date sets the tone and proposes the type of relationship you’re looking for. Is it a casual fling, or something more serious? Are you looking for a deep connection or a good time? The way you treat a girl on a first date says a lot about who you are as a person, how you approach life and what you want from it.
And if you are, in fact, looking for a second date, this is what to do.
1. Bring her somewhere unexpected and new to eat.
Where you bring a girl to eat should reflect who you are and what your style is. There are so many hidden gems and eclectic restaurants out there to help you surprise a girl and let her know that you yourself are interesting and original.
In other words, don’t bring her to Olive Garden. Chain restaurants are boring and overrated. That type of atmosphere won’t help you two feel comfortable.
If you’re going out to eat, which is a great way to bond, you should pick a place that has a lot of stimulation, but isn’t too loud. While you definitely want to hear each other speak, you don’t want to sit in complete silence.
2. Ask her engaging questions.
The worst thing you can do on a first date is talk too much about yourself. Don’t give too much personal information, especially if it causes negativity. There’s a time and place to reveal the darker aspects of your life. A first date usually isn’t appropriate. Keep the mood light and fun.
Sometimes it’s a bit hard to come up with the topics to talk about with a girl. I want to make sure the conversation is an equal exchange. If you’re lucky, words will flow easily, but it might be helpful to have a few questions prepared just in case. Here are a few icebreaker questions for a first date:
- What motivates you? What is your greatest passion?
- What do you like to do on your days off?
- Where is the best place you’ve ever been?
- If money were no object, what would you do?
- Where would you go?
3. Pick a fun, non-challenging activity.
One of my favorite first dates involved dinner and drinks, then walking to a bowling alley with dueling pianos. The dueling piano players provided some awesome entertainment and set an exciting, upbeat environment to bowl in. Even though the girl I invited wasn’t great at bowling, she had so much fun dancing and listening to the music that it didn’t even matter.
Other fun activities might include going to a carnival, museum or an art gallery, walking through a park, going to the beach or attending a concert. While I’ve never had any personal success in mini golf, you might. Make sure that you come up with an unique date idea, she will appreciate that!
No matter what you do, if you both enjoy recreational drinking, I suggest you meet for a drink first. In fact, this could be the activity itself if you’re not feeling ambitious. Having a couple of drinks on a first date will loosen you up, as long as you stop before you get too drunk. You don’t want to get or give a false impression of yourselves. You also don’t want to do something you’ll regret later.
Regardless, a bar has the laid back atmosphere you’re probably looking for.
4. Do not go to the movies.
Going to the movies should be saved for the fourth or fifth date. Sitting in a movie theater not only prevents you from getting to know a girl, it can feel really awkward for multiple reasons.
First of all, the movie genre you choose might be too heavy or too intimate for a first date. Comedy might be too crude, and romantic might be too corny. Besides, let’s be honest, neither of you are actually paying attention. Instead, you’re thinking about where to put your hands and how much money you just spent on stale popcorn.
Go to the movies after you’ve already held hands and had your first kiss. You’ll thank me later.
5. Have a plan and feel confident about it.
The most important thing to do on a first date is to be confident. Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t nag her about whether or not she likes the food, or is having fun. If she’s not having fun, you’ll know it.
Confidence is the most attractive quality you can have. Taking the reigns on a first date and showing your girl an original, exciting and spontaneous time is key.
If you do these things successfully, you’re guaranteed a second date. Maybe even a third.