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19 Feelings Only People Turning 25 Would Understand

19 Feelings Only People Turning 25 Would Understand

When you’re thirteen you want so desperately to be seventeen. When you’re seventeen you really want to be twenty one. When you’re twenty one you start thinking you’re ‘not seventeen anymore’, so when you get to twenty five it can be … slightly confusing. It’s a milestone age, perhaps the first one to really have an effect as an adult. It can be conflicting, heightened, beautiful, reflective, exciting. twenty five is a beautiful age. But only those who have been there can really know.

19 Feelings Only People Turning 25 Would Understand

  1. When you feel suddenly and fully responsible for yourself. And you start to realize that you are going to well and truly reap what you sow. There’s no turning back now.
  2. When you feel scared to go forward and really try. The stakes feel higher now, as you start gearing toward an age beyond that of reckless abandon.
  3. Feeling happy you are starting to shed toxicity and shape your world with care. You are starting to learn and also put into practice the things you have learned so far about self-love. You can begin to use your experiences to better yourself and proceed with greater understanding and influence.
  4. When you realize you are not young anymore. It can be very confronting. And scary. And also great, because you are entering a new phase. It’s scary and exciting.
  5. Feeling so so glad to leave twenty one behind. The excessive late nights and college parties were very fun at first, but secretly, you’re kind of glad you’ve got an excuse. You’re “maybe a bit old for that now”.
  6. Feeling good and ready to deal with your finances properly. You are understanding the importance of what you can do with what you earn, and what it can mean for your life when you don’t spend your entire pay on vodka slammers.
  7. Feeling overwhelmed that many of the people you went to school with are all getting married. Or feeling even more overwhelmed that some are having babies, or moving to the next level of their careers.
  8. Holy moly how on earth were your parents twenty five with three children already. Seriously. You don’t feel 25. You certainly don’t know how you could have an entire family at twenty five. You are gaining new respect for your parents.
  9. Feeling elated that the five years of work you have put in at your job has just meant the promotion you thought would never come.
  10. After cleaning yet another inch-deep greasy stovetop, moving out of your mates’ place and in with your partner is starting to look pretty good. You feel surprisingly more ready than you did 3 years back.
  11. Feeling overwhelmed out in the ‘real world’ since finally graduating. You are in the job you always thought you wanted, but have odd and conflicting thoughts about the reality of it.
  12. When you look at twenty one year olds and feel old.
  13. Feeling suddenly like you aren’t satisfied with the same things anymore, but you aren’t sure why.
  14. Getting your first grey hair. It’s usually around this time. George Clooney makes it look good. So can you.
  15. You suddenly get the fear of turning 30. It has never even entered your mind and then “POOF!” It starts to tick in there like a mind bomb.
  16. Feeling a tearing sense of wanting to party but also wanting to sleep early. It’s the milestone. You’ve got one foot in the sleep-when-I’m-dead past, and one foot in the I’m-getting-busy future. There are decisions to be made.
  17. When you start fretting about where your life is headed and if you are “where you are supposed to be”. (You are).
  18. LOVING the fact that you are old and wise enough not to look like those silly young kids all dressed up and trying to get in to clubs. Pfft, that was so long ago …
  19. Enjoying the beautiful age you are at right now at this very moment and will never be again.

Featured photo credit: Albumarium via albumarium.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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