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The Secret to Growing Your Social Circle

The Secret to Growing Your Social Circle

Building your social circle can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve recently moved. If you truly want to do it, following these seven rules will greatly benefit your pursuit.

1. Be open to new experiences and new people.

This is critical. Say “yes” to any new experiences that you can, especially in the beginning. Even if you don’t think you will like the event or situation, if it is something new and gives you a chance to interact with others, go for it — particularly if you are going with somebody else or meeting them there.

On the same note, interact and hang out with anyone you can. You may be thinking, “I know what kind of people I want to hang out with, and these are not them,” but don’t worry about that now. You will eventually meet the “right” people. However, early on you really just want to meet as many people as you can and make as many “allies” as possible.

Not only that, but through these people you can meet more people. Later, once your options grow, you can be more selective with who you hang with and what you do.

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To get started, become more spontaneous and learn how to start conversation with a stranger.

2. Be yourself, unapologetically.

One of the biggest turn-offs is when someone is “faking” who they are. So speak passionately about the things you care about. Tell others what you love about it and why. Don’t be afraid to say what pisses you off. You aren’t trying to be negative, you are just being you.

If you swear, feel free to swear in front of other people (unless you’re in an interview or somewhere this would be deemed inappropriate). Usually when a group of people are talking and no one knows the whole group, nobody is cursing at all. In most cases, once one person does, it opens the floodgates and you will hear way more cursing.

One big secret to growing your social circle is to make people feel comfortable with you. By being yourself, people will be much more comfortable.

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3. Be excited to meet people.

When you first start talking to someone, show some enthusiasm. Let them know that you have energy and that you’re actually interested in talking to them. Don’t act like you’re on your tenth cup of coffee or anything, but even more importantly, don’t just say the words — actually show your interest. If you aren’t interested in talking to someone, they will know immediately and that will greatly impact the way they respond to you.

4. Bring people up.

Give people compliments and make them feel good. When someone tells you what they do for work and fun, respond emphatically with something like “that’s awesome!” It’s even better if you can give them a convincing reason why you think it’s awesome. Also, let them know that they’re a smart person and that you find them really intriguing.

5. Brag about people to others, even if you just met.

Not only should you bring someone up while talking to them, but you should brag about them to other people. This is huge. Let’s say you just met someone and they showed you a photo of a piece of furniture they built. You already complimented them about it. Then your friend, their friend, or even a stranger walks up. Say to that person, “Have you seen the table he built?! It’s insane! You gotta see it.” People absolutely love being bragged about by other people to other people.

6. Be interested in them.

You want to be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. When they talk about something, ask them questions and try to learn more about it. Take pleasure in learning what it’s like to be this person and show it. Don’t just mutter the words, truly engage and be interested.

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7. Relate to what they are saying.

They need to get to know you too. You can relate to the things they say by telling stories, providing knowledge and feedback, showing your curiosity, giving your thoughts and beliefs, or explaining your feelings.

This will help develop your connection with them. If you can relate to the things they are interested in, they will see the shared commonalities and start to see how hanging out with you makes sense.

Conclusion

By meeting more people and building quality relationships, you are slowly building your army behind you. As it grows, you will get to fine tune which people you choose to spend the majority of you time with. But before you get there, you really want to focus on creating a good bond with anyone you can. It will pay dividends later when you have the social circle of your dreams.

If you want make more friends, regardless of where you live, get your free cheatsheet, packed with 30 tips to help you meet and make the friends of your dreams.

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Need more? Here’s another article with 10 useful tips for making friends.

Featured photo credit: nazka2002 via morguefile.com

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Rob Riker

Social Skills Coach

Social Circle The Secret to Growing Your Social Circle

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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