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Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Okay, so your partner is cheating on you. What do you do now? If you’re being cheated on the future of your relationship is not only in jeopardy, it may as well be over. People have caught on to this fact, and over half of marriages end within the first five years. If you’ve ventured beyond that point it’s safe to assume that you will last, but have you been cheated on already?

Knowing about the infidelity is half of the battle

Your willingness to leave may be one the keys factors in your significant other’s decision to cheat. But let’s not blame you completely, some people have a sort of sexuality that allows them to have sex with many partners and have no emotional attachment to them. If you have one of these for a spouse or are in a relationship with one you need to leave. They won’t change no matter how much you foster a sense of morality in them. In fact, with people like this you can’t be sure that they are emotionally invested in you at all. They likely have another relationship while they are with you and would soon move on to the next person when you leave, or even before. It isn’t your fault that this type of person has cheated on you, if you’ve encountered one you shouldn’t feel bad about what happened.

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Knowing about it is half the battle, and if you know you can end the relationship if you think your partner may be cheating. A sign to your partner that you are willing to do this is not a bad thing. If you are willing to do everything for this person like support them, take care of all their needs, and do whatever they wish then you have shown them no matter what you will be there for them. If there are no repercussions for their actions then why wouldn’t they explore the wide world of other partners?

Insecurities can turn them away

If you are the jealous type this may result in someone cheating. Did they cheat first or did you start getting jealous first? We could argue all day about which came first, the chicken or the egg. To that question I could answer that the egg came first. The first non-chicken bird had a mutation that made their young be born with a calcium deposit surrounding it. This faulty gene that produced the shell was fostered and replicated because it gave the chicken in the egg and evolutionary advantage. Now we eat the chickens and their eggs. But who represents the egg and who represents the chicken? This is another argument that I’m sure you two are having right now. If you were to yell at your wife about her cheating even when she didn’t, what’s to say that she won’t go out and cheat because she will get yelled at about it anyways? This is a rationalization that many cheaters use.

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Your insecurities helped you pick the right mate for this never ending jealous argument. You overcompensated because you thought that you needed a perfect or overly sexy mate so that you could display your sexual prowess to the world. And now they cheat on you because that’s just what they do. Choosing a moderate or conservative mate would have helped and this may ensure that you have a safer future. You however, have chosen a sexy mating strategy that will ensure the spread of your genetic material because of your mate’s promiscuity. Congratulations you’re now a grandfather/ grandmother before you’re 40! All joking aside these two mating strategies may not be something you choose consciously.

That’s a funny algorithm

I ran across a fun algorithm that is psychological based and deals with cheating: self gratification > intimacy = cheating. To explain this you have to understand what the terms mean. Self gratification deals with not only masturbation but things like indulging in chocolate and over eating at a buffet. Intimacy involves the need to be loved and love in return. If your partner’s desire to gratify themselves is greater than the need for them to love and be loved by you then they are likely to cheat. If they have a bad drinking problem or they do drugs in excess, that may be an indicator. This isn’t always true but if they have a strong desire to gratify that could outweigh — your relationship. Someone who doesn’t care for love will not care if they hurt someone who loves them.

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If you’re wondering if you should leave your partner and have no evidence of any recent infidelity you have to ask the one question that you should have asked them already. Have they done it before? There are many ways to help the situation other than ending it. You can go to counselling or just make your partnership better. But if they did it once they might do it again. Your partner may be cheating on you for many other reasons than these. Therapy or relationship counselling may help you reveal together what has caused it.

Featured photo credit: Mitya Ku from Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 25, 2019

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

When we were still children, our thoughts seemed to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

Just imagine then, how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power!

We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities.

We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

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We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb.

We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits.

And we’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head…

But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

So, how can we tap into the power of positivity?

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“Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are 4 simple yet powerful ideas on how you can get started.

1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

Just take a look at these 10 Positive Affirmations for Success that will Change your Life.

2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

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You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty.

If you seek it, you will find it.

3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what really is important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life that can inspire you.

4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking.

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Instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

Learn from this article how to change your mental images: How to Think Positive and Eliminate Negative Thoughts

If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

And remember:

You are (or will become) what you think you are.

This is reasonable enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

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Featured photo credit: Lauren Richmond via unsplash.com

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