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Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Okay, so your partner is cheating on you. What do you do now? If you’re being cheated on the future of your relationship is not only in jeopardy, it may as well be over. People have caught on to this fact, and over half of marriages end within the first five years. If you’ve ventured beyond that point it’s safe to assume that you will last, but have you been cheated on already?

Knowing about the infidelity is half of the battle

Your willingness to leave may be one the keys factors in your significant other’s decision to cheat. But let’s not blame you completely, some people have a sort of sexuality that allows them to have sex with many partners and have no emotional attachment to them. If you have one of these for a spouse or are in a relationship with one you need to leave. They won’t change no matter how much you foster a sense of morality in them. In fact, with people like this you can’t be sure that they are emotionally invested in you at all. They likely have another relationship while they are with you and would soon move on to the next person when you leave, or even before. It isn’t your fault that this type of person has cheated on you, if you’ve encountered one you shouldn’t feel bad about what happened.

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Knowing about it is half the battle, and if you know you can end the relationship if you think your partner may be cheating. A sign to your partner that you are willing to do this is not a bad thing. If you are willing to do everything for this person like support them, take care of all their needs, and do whatever they wish then you have shown them no matter what you will be there for them. If there are no repercussions for their actions then why wouldn’t they explore the wide world of other partners?

Insecurities can turn them away

If you are the jealous type this may result in someone cheating. Did they cheat first or did you start getting jealous first? We could argue all day about which came first, the chicken or the egg. To that question I could answer that the egg came first. The first non-chicken bird had a mutation that made their young be born with a calcium deposit surrounding it. This faulty gene that produced the shell was fostered and replicated because it gave the chicken in the egg and evolutionary advantage. Now we eat the chickens and their eggs. But who represents the egg and who represents the chicken? This is another argument that I’m sure you two are having right now. If you were to yell at your wife about her cheating even when she didn’t, what’s to say that she won’t go out and cheat because she will get yelled at about it anyways? This is a rationalization that many cheaters use.

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Your insecurities helped you pick the right mate for this never ending jealous argument. You overcompensated because you thought that you needed a perfect or overly sexy mate so that you could display your sexual prowess to the world. And now they cheat on you because that’s just what they do. Choosing a moderate or conservative mate would have helped and this may ensure that you have a safer future. You however, have chosen a sexy mating strategy that will ensure the spread of your genetic material because of your mate’s promiscuity. Congratulations you’re now a grandfather/ grandmother before you’re 40! All joking aside these two mating strategies may not be something you choose consciously.

That’s a funny algorithm

I ran across a fun algorithm that is psychological based and deals with cheating: self gratification > intimacy = cheating. To explain this you have to understand what the terms mean. Self gratification deals with not only masturbation but things like indulging in chocolate and over eating at a buffet. Intimacy involves the need to be loved and love in return. If your partner’s desire to gratify themselves is greater than the need for them to love and be loved by you then they are likely to cheat. If they have a bad drinking problem or they do drugs in excess, that may be an indicator. This isn’t always true but if they have a strong desire to gratify that could outweigh — your relationship. Someone who doesn’t care for love will not care if they hurt someone who loves them.

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If you’re wondering if you should leave your partner and have no evidence of any recent infidelity you have to ask the one question that you should have asked them already. Have they done it before? There are many ways to help the situation other than ending it. You can go to counselling or just make your partnership better. But if they did it once they might do it again. Your partner may be cheating on you for many other reasons than these. Therapy or relationship counselling may help you reveal together what has caused it.

Featured photo credit: Mitya Ku from Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 14, 2018

18 Dating Ideas with Breathtaking Scenery in the East of England

18 Dating Ideas with Breathtaking Scenery in the East of England

Are you looking for the perfect setting for a romantic date in the East of England? When you first meet someone for a date, getting out and about in lovely scenery allows you to relax and get to know one another. The East of England includes some of the most beautiful and historic landscapes in the country so whether you fancy a walk on the beach, mountain biking through a forest or visiting an atmospheric garden, our creative dating ideas offer something for everyone.

1. Spot seals at Blakeney Point

    Blakeney Point is part of the Blakeney National Nature Reserve, which offers beautiful views of the Norfolk coastline and is perfect for a date with someone loves animals and nature, take a boat trip to see the numerous grey seals who can often be seen basking on the beaches here; you might even be lucky enough to see baby seals.

    2. Take a trip on a traditional sailing barge at Maldon

      If your date loves the romance of days gone by, enjoy a memorable date in the fresh sea air with a trip around Northey and Osea Islands in the Thames estuary on an authentic Thames sailing barge at Maldon. Enjoy tea and cakes on board as the scenery glides serenely by.

      3. Watch the sunset from Southend Pier

        Meet your date at the iconic Southend Pier, the longest and one of the oldest pleasure piers in the world, to watch the sun going down. Try your luck in the amusement arcade before catching the old-fashioned train back again.

        4. Soak up the atmosphere at Audley End House

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          For a romantic date in the surroundings of a stunning country mansion, enjoy the atmosphere of Jacobean opulence at Audley End House, where you can explore the grounds and lake created by Capability Brown.

          5. Stroll through the flower gardens at Bridge End Garden, Saffron Walden

            What could be more romantic than the exquisite flower gardens at Bridge End? Why not meet your date at this “secret garden” near the Fry Art Gallery that has been recently restored to its former Victorian splendour.

            6. Climb the heights of romance at Layer Marney Tower

              For a date at an unusual location with splendid views over rural Essex and the Blackwater, the climb of 99 steps to the top of Layer Marney Tower, built by one of Henry V111’s courtiers, repays the effort. The gardens are beautiful throughout the year but the rose garden is at its most fragrant in summer.

              7. Explore the beautiful landscapes of Constable country at Dedham Vale

                You and your date can enjoy tranquillity and natural beauty when you explore Dedham Vale, an AONB in Suffolk first made famous by Constable in paintings such as “Flatford Mill”. Get away from the hustle and bustle and explore on foot or by cycle: there are several routes to choose from.

                8. Discover the romance of ancient history at Sutton Hoo

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                  Sutton Hoo is the perfect setting for a date with anyone interested in the romance of ancient history and culture. Explore the museum together and then take a stroll through nearby fields and woodland to see the atmospheric Anglo-Saxon burial mounds.

                  9. Take in the romantic views at Waddesdon Manor

                    You and your date can reconnect with nature in the stunning grounds of Waddesdon Manor, a palatial 19th century chateau. The house is set high on a ridge with majestic views over surrounding countryside and is the perfect place to spend time getting to know your date better.

                    10. View Cambridge the romantic way from a traditional punt

                      Whether you opt for a guided punt tour or a self-hire punt, you and your date can cosy up as you explore the lovely scenery of the River Cam at Cambridge. Head along the iconic College Backs or out towards rural Grantchester.

                      11. Challenge yourselves with an exciting date at Go Ape!

                        For all those with a head for heights, why not meet your date at Go Ape! at Thetford. Set in beautiful woodland, Go Ape! will take you both on the adventure of a lifetime as you climb through the tree tops and zoom down zip wires.

                        12. A date for animal lovers at Whipsnade Zoo

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                          Animal lovers will be enchanted by the suggestion of meeting for a date at Whipsnade Zoo. Set in the rolling Chiltern hills, the zoo and safari park is home to a collection of exotic animals in superbly landscaped, spacious enclosures.

                          13. Admire the idyllic view from Horsey Windpump

                            Leave the car behind as you and your date stroll through the wild and remote landscapes of the Norfolk Broads at Horsey; the ancient windpump is open to the public and you can climb to the top for even more fabulous views.

                            14. Take a walk on the wild side at Orford Ness Lighthouse

                              If your date loves wide, empty beaches, why not visit Orford Ness lightouse? A five minute boat trip from Orford Quay takes you across to the wild and remote Orford Ness, where there is a short walk to the lighthouse itself.

                              15. Get close to nature at Wicken Fen

                                Wicken Fen is the oldest nature reserve in the country and is a great place for a date for those interested in birds and other animals; it is home to more than 9000 species and can be explored by cycle, on foot or by boat.

                                16. A romantic canoe trip for two on the tranquil Great Ouse

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                                  For a more active date, try a half day canoe trail on the Great Ouse near Bedford. The river is safe for novice canoeists and meanders past Bedford’s historic town centre and through rural villages and meadows.

                                  17. Explore cultural delights by the sea at Aldeburgh

                                    Whether you stroll along the beach and enjoy a coffee in one of the many cafes and pubs, take a row boat out on the peaceful mere at Thorpeness or go to a concert at the world famous Snape Maltings, Aldeburgh is an enchanting place for a date at any time of the year.

                                    18. Mountain bike through the stunning scenery of Thetford Forest

                                      A mountain biking date is a great choice for sporty people – it’s often easier to get to know someone when you’re focussing on doing something exciting in the open air. There are plenty of trails to choose from that will take you through beautiful scenery, such as Thetford Forest.

                                      Image Source: 1. via nationaltrust.org.uk; 2. via nationaltrust.org.uk; 3. via southendculture.com; 4. via english-heritage.org.uk; 5. via bridgeendgarden.co.uk; 6. via layermarneytower.co.uk; 7. via dedhamvalestourvalley.org; 8. via nationaltrust.org.uk; 9. via wikimedia.org; 10. via scudamores.com; 11. via natureflip.com; 12. via discoveranimals.co.uk; 13. via nationaltrust.org.uk; 14. via bbci.co.uk; 15. via nationaltrust.org.uk; 16. via canoetrail.co.uk; 17. via tripadvisor.com; 18. Via mapio.net

                                      Featured photo credit: Unknown via english-heritage.org.uk

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