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Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

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Why Your Partner May Be Cheating

Okay, so your partner is cheating on you. What do you do now? If you’re being cheated on the future of your relationship is not only in jeopardy, it may as well be over. People have caught on to this fact, and over half of marriages end within the first five years. If you’ve ventured beyond that point it’s safe to assume that you will last, but have you been cheated on already?

Knowing about the infidelity is half of the battle

Your willingness to leave may be one the keys factors in your significant other’s decision to cheat. But let’s not blame you completely, some people have a sort of sexuality that allows them to have sex with many partners and have no emotional attachment to them. If you have one of these for a spouse or are in a relationship with one you need to leave. They won’t change no matter how much you foster a sense of morality in them. In fact, with people like this you can’t be sure that they are emotionally invested in you at all. They likely have another relationship while they are with you and would soon move on to the next person when you leave, or even before. It isn’t your fault that this type of person has cheated on you, if you’ve encountered one you shouldn’t feel bad about what happened.

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Knowing about it is half the battle, and if you know you can end the relationship if you think your partner may be cheating. A sign to your partner that you are willing to do this is not a bad thing. If you are willing to do everything for this person like support them, take care of all their needs, and do whatever they wish then you have shown them no matter what you will be there for them. If there are no repercussions for their actions then why wouldn’t they explore the wide world of other partners?

Insecurities can turn them away

If you are the jealous type this may result in someone cheating. Did they cheat first or did you start getting jealous first? We could argue all day about which came first, the chicken or the egg. To that question I could answer that the egg came first. The first non-chicken bird had a mutation that made their young be born with a calcium deposit surrounding it. This faulty gene that produced the shell was fostered and replicated because it gave the chicken in the egg and evolutionary advantage. Now we eat the chickens and their eggs. But who represents the egg and who represents the chicken? This is another argument that I’m sure you two are having right now. If you were to yell at your wife about her cheating even when she didn’t, what’s to say that she won’t go out and cheat because she will get yelled at about it anyways? This is a rationalization that many cheaters use.

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Your insecurities helped you pick the right mate for this never ending jealous argument. You overcompensated because you thought that you needed a perfect or overly sexy mate so that you could display your sexual prowess to the world. And now they cheat on you because that’s just what they do. Choosing a moderate or conservative mate would have helped and this may ensure that you have a safer future. You however, have chosen a sexy mating strategy that will ensure the spread of your genetic material because of your mate’s promiscuity. Congratulations you’re now a grandfather/ grandmother before you’re 40! All joking aside these two mating strategies may not be something you choose consciously.

That’s a funny algorithm

I ran across a fun algorithm that is psychological based and deals with cheating: self gratification > intimacy = cheating. To explain this you have to understand what the terms mean. Self gratification deals with not only masturbation but things like indulging in chocolate and over eating at a buffet. Intimacy involves the need to be loved and love in return. If your partner’s desire to gratify themselves is greater than the need for them to love and be loved by you then they are likely to cheat. If they have a bad drinking problem or they do drugs in excess, that may be an indicator. This isn’t always true but if they have a strong desire to gratify that could outweigh — your relationship. Someone who doesn’t care for love will not care if they hurt someone who loves them.

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If you’re wondering if you should leave your partner and have no evidence of any recent infidelity you have to ask the one question that you should have asked them already. Have they done it before? There are many ways to help the situation other than ending it. You can go to counselling or just make your partnership better. But if they did it once they might do it again. Your partner may be cheating on you for many other reasons than these. Therapy or relationship counselling may help you reveal together what has caused it.

Featured photo credit: Mitya Ku from Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 13, 2022

10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

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10 Cheap And Amazing Honeymoon Ideas

A honeymoon is important.  The wedding is over.  The months, or even years, of stress and planning are finally over.  It’s time for the two of you to relax, settle in, and start enjoying your time together as you embark on your first journey as a family.

To make the most of this time for the least amount of money, it’s important to focus on what you want out of a honeymoon.  This isn’t your typical list of touristy honeymoon locations everyone goes to.  Rather, it’s a list of cheap honeymoon experiences a couple can enjoy together, regardless of where it’s at.

1. Camping

A week long camping trip is a fantastic way to see how you mesh together as a couple.  You’re put in a low impact “survival” situation where it’s just the 2 of you and nature.  You have a chance to see how your new spouse handles themselves when left with the basics of life.  There are amazing national parks all over the United States where you can camp for a week for $20-30, disconnect from technology, and enjoy some of the natural wonders our nation has to offer.

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2. Staycation

You don’t have to go anywhere for a honeymoon.  In fact, the tradition of taking a honeymoon vacation is a relatively new one.  Prior to the 19th century, a honeymoon involved staying home together for a month to get to know each other physically.  Think of how blissful it could be to take a full month off work, disconnect from the outside world, and focus entirely on projects together.  You may not be wowing your friends and family with pictures of some exotic location, but they’ll be envious of your escape from the rat race nonetheless.

3. Island Getaway

People tend to overspend on their honeymoon vacations to Hawaii, Tahiti, etc.  Going to these places doesn’t have to be expensive.  You don’t need to stay in a 5 star resort when you’re on a Best Western budget.  You’re there to be in the atmosphere of the island, not a hotel room. Book a cheap flight and sleep in a hotel alternative, on the beach or in your car.  It’s the view in paradise that really matters.

4. Fancy Resort

Book an expensive resort, spa, or retreat in the city you live in.  While this may seem counterintuitive as a cheap destination, when you consider your savings on airfare and other travel costs, you can afford to be treated like royalty within your own city limits.  If you book a honeymoon package, you’ll end up with a lot of free amenities and extra attention.  There’s no need to fly halfway across the world to live the good life.

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5. Road Trip

The journey is often more fulfilling than the actual destination.  If you fly out to some exotic locale, you’ll be stuck on a plane for 8-30 hours.  Rent a luxury car, pick a handful of places you each have always wanted to visit, and go on an adventure.  You can keep food costs down by packing your own snacks, but it’s always a good idea to sample the local delicacies wherever you go, even if it’s only a few states over.

6. Charter a Boat

If the ocean is your thing, a week-long cruise can cost you $1500-$3000 per person, depending on the destination.  You also have to factor in travel costs to and from the cruise, alcohol, souvenirs, and on-shore excursions.  You’ll also be surrounded by people.  For the same price (and often much cheaper), you can charter your own boat and enjoy the experience in private.

7. Las Vegas/Atlantic City

If gambling is your thing, these are the places to do it.  Which one you choose depends on your preference, budget, and proximity.  The way to make this vacation cheaper is to gamble smart.  Stay away from low odd tables (i.e craps, roulette) and read up on the MIT blackjack strategies to beat the house.  If you do it right, you can win enough for a free trip (and gain a valuable team skill in the process).

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8. Themed Retreats

There are weeklong retreats all over the world where you can fully immerse yourselves as a couple into a hobby you’re both passionate about.  Go on a yoga/meditation retreat, a ranch, a vineyard/farm, a backpacking adventure, treasure hunt, or whatever you’re into.

9. Working Honeymoon

Your honeymoon doesn’t have to be a vacation.  For a truly memorable experience, dedicate a week to a charity or volunteer organization.  You can drive out to a campground to help restore it in the offseason.  Maybe you’ve always wanted to volunteer to help out your local animal shelter, plant trees, help the homeless, etc.  Use the time to do something together as a couple that will fulfill you spiritually while contributing to the community.  Just because you’re on a honeymoon doesn’t mean you can’t be productive.

10. Festivals, Fairs & Special Events

Every city, state, and country has festivals, fairs, and special events.  Find one you’re interested in.  If you time your wedding right, your honeymoon can be a trip to one of these festivals.  Burning Man, SXSW, Bonnaroo, the Renaissance Fair, regional harvest festivals, Mardi Gras, New Years Eve in Times Square, a movie premiere, or whatever you’re into.  If you plan your honeymoon at the right time in the right place, the possibilities are endless.

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Featured photo credit: Josue Michel via unsplash.com

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