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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

16 Unhealthy Habits You Should Get Rid Of By 35 Years Old

16 Unhealthy Habits You Should Get Rid Of By 35 Years Old

If you are reaching your mid-thirties it is time to take have a look at yourself and decide which habits are worthwhile keeping and which are weighing you down and ought to be shaken off. Let’s take a look at 16 habits that you should quickly be shedding.

1. Comparing yourself to others.

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    When you compare yourself to others you do damage to your sense of self. By undertaking the game of comparisons you are bound to end up feeling envious and low in confidence. Comparing yourself to others is also not very effective, as the front that others present in public may mask what they are really feeling or going through.

    2. Being a spendthrift

    It’s all very well having the latest accessories and the nicest car; but is it really necessary? At one point you need to ask yourself; If I keep spending will I have something to live off when I get older? The fact is the earlier you start saving the longer you have to accrue interest on your money, and this additional interest could prove to come in handy when you are in your senior years.

    3. Having irregular sleeping habits

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      When you were young, you think you can sleep anytime. You think you can stay awake all the time. But all these will make you pay a price later in life. And your body will no longer be capable of such habit. Start going to sleep and waking up at regular times. This can do you a world of good. It will help you remain fresh through-out the days and lead to good sleeping habits for the future.

      4. Thinking you need to satisfy everyone.

      After you reach a certain age it is time to stop trying to please everyone around you and choose a couple of close friends and family to be good to. Invest your time and energy wisely and be selective when you choose to help others. Most importantly don’t skimp on your own needs.

      5. Abusing your feet

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        Your feet are essential for life. Make sure you wear shoes that fit and are comfortable. Otherwise you may end up with infections, hammer toes, blisters, weird skin or bunions. And these ailments could prove to slow you down later in life.

        6. Avoiding spending time alone

        Spending time with yourself can be very beneficial and can help you ‘reboot’ your system. Quiet time alone will allow you to gather your thoughts and reflect on what you have. If you still can’t enjoy being alone, it’s hard for you to be really happy with others.

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        7. Being inactive

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          We have all know that keeping fit will help you get the most out of life. But did you know that in the later half of your 30s you start losing muscle mass. This makes exercising during these years all the more important. As if you want to remain strong in your later years you need to flex those muscles.

          8. Putting off your life dream

          Now is the time to pursue your life dreams. Don’t wait another minute because time is ticking by. You may wish to start a family, travel the world, or write a book. Whatever your ambition is make sure you take the first steps to fulfil it now.

          9. Being lazy with your dental hygiene

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            Look after your teeth because you only get one set. Make sure you get your teeth cleaner regularly and do all the daily dental hygiene stuff that needs to be done. The longer you keep your own teeth the better your smile will be and the happier you will be eating.   

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            10. Getting a tan

            If you would rather not have wrinkles and thin skin from sun damage, then stop lying in the sun. Once more a great looking tan can prove to cause major health concerns later in life, though, for example, the development of melanomas.

            11. Dealing with all your stressful events in your head

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              Keeping a journal can help you put your thoughts and feelings down on paper. This, in turn, can help you deal with stressful events. More than this a journal can be a great reminder of good times and struggles when you get older.

              12. Berating yourself for your mistakes

              Start learning how to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Try not to dwell on where you went wrong and instead look towards the future and see how you can steer things in the direction you want to go.

              13. Smoking

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                If you are a smoker stop immediately. Research suggests that if you quit before you reach the age of 40 you have a 90% lower mortality rate than those who continue to smoke.

                14. Looking to change yourself and things around you.

                If you are content with what you have and who you are chances are you will be happier in life. Research suggests that true gratitude can increase happiness and decrease negative feelings.

                15. Trying to hide your inner-nature

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                  If people do not appreciate who you truly are deep down, then they are not worth the effort. Show the world your inner beauty and it’ll smile back.

                  16. Closing off from those you love

                  Be open to those who love you. Let them in and share your thoughts and experiences with them. The more you open up to the ones you love the more you will gain from having them close.

                  Featured photo credit: A Runners Enduring Excursion via arunnersenduringexcursion.com

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                  Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                  How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                  How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                  For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                  If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                  Example 1

                  You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                  You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                  In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                  Example 2

                  You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                  People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                  You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                  Example 3

                  You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                  The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                  Example 4

                  You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                  Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                  If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                  Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                  • Understand your own communication style
                  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                  • Communicate with precision and care
                  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                  1. Understand Your Communication Style

                  To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                  In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                  Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                  2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                  Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                  If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                  “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                  This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                  To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                  3. Exercise Precision and Care

                  A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                  On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                  Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                  I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                  I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                  In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                  The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                  Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                  4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                  Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                  In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                  “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                  Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                  Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                  It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                  It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                  It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                  Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                  Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                  The Bottom Line

                  When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                  I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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                  Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                  Reference

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