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A Love Letter to Myself

A Love Letter to Myself

I share this with hope that you’ll write your own love letter and be reminded that the only love you need is your own…

Love Yourself/Quinn Dombrowski

    Dear Me,

    You and I go way back, to the beginning. We’re one hundred percent connected in a way no one will–or could ever–understand. We’ve been there, standing together. Sometimes crying in the shower, sometimes snorting through our nose, but it’s always been you and me. Always and forever…

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    Or so it was supposed to be, but some time ago I left you–

    I left you floundering on your own, to rely on love and encouragement and strength from others–from strangers–when it was I who should have held you up. When it was I who should have hugged you and praised you and appreciated you for the wondrous person you are–for all the beauty and life you bring to this world.

    I seldom tell you how much I love you. How much I admire you. How beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are. That you are my hero.

    I should have told you to ignore the jeers and snickers. To not care what others think. To not be afraid to be different. To not be ashamed of who you are. Worst of all,  I should have ignored the jeers and snickers. I shouldn’t have cared what people thought. Because in doing so, I said horrible things to shame you. I took you for granted and dishonored you. I said you’re not enough. That if you’d only be a better teacher, a better wife, a better friend, a better writer, a better lover…then I’d love you. If you were more confident, more social, more assertive, then I’d respect you. If you had less sun spots, if you ate less carbs, if you were more adventurous and thick-skinned, if you were a mother, if you achieved your goals, then I’d want you. I’ve said things to you I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy and you’ve taken it, and internalized every calloused word.

    And for that I’ve lost you.

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    I should have been there for you.

    I should have taken care of you.

    I should have fought harder to be the person you deserve.

    I should have protected, defended, and cherished you.

    I’m so incredibly sorry I failed you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for leaving you, for not reminding you every second of every day how wonderful you are. How worthy you are. How brave and kind and powerful you are. Please forgive me.

    YOU are significant.

    YOU are worthy.

    YOU are beautiful.

    YOU are smart.

    YOU are strong.

    YOU are enough.

    Self Esteem by Kiran Foster

      I know you are going through hard times right now. That life hasn’t given you what you hoped and hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would. I know you are disappointed and sometimes feel like a failure or that it is all your fault. But the truth is: YOU are not a failure nor could you ever be. YOU are strong and brave and honest and YOU will overcome. YOU will persevere and come out on the other side more YOU than you’ve ever been before.

      You do not need anyone else’s approval, love, or friendship to be whole.

      Together WE are enough. WE will conquer this new future. I’ve got you and this time I’m not letting go. Ever. This time, I will put you first.

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      I will respect you and honor you and cherish you.

      Love for eternity,

      Me

      If you’re ever feeling down or unworthy, try writing a love letter to yourself. You’ll be surprised all the healing that can take place…

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      Video of the importance of writing a love letter to oneself…

      Featured photo credit: Writing a Letter That I’ll Never Send/Martina via flickr.com

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      Last Updated on November 18, 2020

      15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

      15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It)

      It’s okay, you can finally admit it. It’s been two months since you’ve seen the inside of the gym. Getting sick, family crisis, overtime at work and school papers that needed to get finished all kept you for exercising. Now, the question is: how do you start again?
      Once you have an exercise habit, it becomes automatic. You just go to the gym, there is no force involved. But after a month, two months or possibly a year off, it can be hard to get started again. Here are some tips to climb back on that treadmill after you’ve fallen off.

      1. Don’t Break the Habit – The easiest way to keep things going is simply not to stop. Avoid long breaks in exercising or rebuilding the habit will take some effort. This may be advice a little too late for some people. But if you have an exercise habit going, don’t drop it at the first sign of trouble.
      2. Reward Showing Up – Woody Allen once said that, “Half of life is showing up.” I’d argue that 90% of making a habit is just making the effort to get there. You can worry about your weight, amount of laps you run or the amount you can bench press later.
      3. Commit for Thirty Days – Make a commitment to go every day (even just for 20 minutes) for one month. This will solidify the exercise habit. By making a commitment you also take pressure off yourself in the first weeks back of deciding whether to go.
      4. Make it Fun – If you don’t enjoy yourself at the gym, it is going to be hard to keep it a habit. There are thousands of ways you can move your body and exercise, so don’t give up if you’ve decided lifting weights or doing crunches isn’t for you. Many large fitness centers will offer a range of programs that can suit your tastes.
      5. Schedule During Quiet Hours – Don’t put exercise time in a place where it will easily be pushed aside by something more important. Right after work or first thing in the morning are often good places to put it. Lunch-hour workouts might be too easy to skip if work demands start mounting.
      6. Get a Buddy – Grab a friend to join you. Having a social aspect to exercising can boost your commitment to the exercise habit.
      7. X Your Calendar – One person I know has the habit of drawing a red “X” through any day on the calendar he goes to the gym. The benefit of this is it quickly shows how long it has been since you’ve gone to the gym. Keeping a steady amount of X’s on your calendar is an easy way to motivate yourself.
      8. Enjoyment Before Effort – After you finish any work out, ask yourself what parts you enjoyed and what parts you did not. As a rule, the enjoyable aspects of your workout will get done and the rest will be avoided. By focusing on how you can make workouts more enjoyable, you can make sure you want to keep going to the gym.
      9. Create a Ritual – Your workout routine should become so ingrained that it becomes a ritual. This means that the time of day, place or cue automatically starts you towards grabbing your bag and heading out. If your workout times are completely random, it will be harder to benefit from the momentum of a ritual.
      10. Stress Relief – What do you do when your stressed? Chances are it isn’t running. But exercise can be a great way to relieve stress, releasing endorphin which will improve your mood. The next time you feel stressed or tired, try doing an exercise you enjoy. When stress relief is linked to exercise, it is easy to regain the habit even after a leave of absence.
      11. Measure Fitness – Weight isn’t always the best number to track. Increase in muscle can offset decreases in fat so the scale doesn’t change even if your body is. But fitness improvements are a great way to stay motivated. Recording simple numbers such as the number of push-ups, sit-ups or speed you can run can help you see that the exercise is making you stronger and faster.
      12. Habits First, Equipment Later – Fancy equipment doesn’t create a habit for exercise. Despite this, some people still believe that buying a thousand dollar machine will make up for their inactivity. It won’t. Start building the exercise habit first, only afterwards should you worry about having a personal gym.
      13. Isolate Your Weakness – If falling off the exercise wagon is a common occurrence for you, find out why. Do you not enjoy exercising? Is it a lack of time? Is it feeling self-conscious at the gym? Is it a lack of fitness know-how? As soon as you can isolate your weakness, you can make steps to improve the situation.
      14. Start Small – Trying to run fifteen miles your first workout isn’t a good way to build a habit. Work below your capacity for the first few weeks to build the habit. Otherwise you might scare yourself off after a brutal workout.
      15. Go for Yourself, Not to Impress – Going to the gym with the only goal of looking great is like starting a business with only the goal to make money. The effort can’t justify the results. But if you go to the gym to push yourself, gain energy and have a good time, then you can keep going even when results are slow.

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