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7 Signs That You’re Making Your Children Narcissistic

7 Signs That You’re Making Your Children Narcissistic

Narcissism is defined as the excessive interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. Vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness. Many think that the number of narcissistic children in western civilization is rising. I have created this handy dandy list for you to reference and see if certain things you are doing on the parenting front could be contributing to your child becoming narcissistic. Using this list I was able to even find some points where I may be going slightly astray (and we know how perfect I am!) Without further ado here is my list of 7 signs that you’re making your child(ren) Narcissistic.

You lead your child to believe they are infallible.

This can be done by over praising. Putting your child on a pedestal is easy to do because you created them, but acknowledging faults is human. It’s a healthy thing to be able to see that everyone has weaknesses.

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You compare your child to other kids and tell them how they measure up.

Around age 7 or 8 kids start to compare themselves to others. It’s important that you aren’t putting undue pressure on them to be better then their peers at everything. Don’t compare to Mikey and tell them where he comes up short.

You view affection as something to be earned and therefore show little warmth.

This could be difficult to recognize in yourself I suppose, but if you are only hugging after a job well done or for specifics tasks completed. There is a difference in affection and appreciation versus making your child feel like they are better than others. You can love your child and think they hang the moon, but you don’t have to put down or take anything away from anyone else to do that.

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You model behaviors such as inability to hear criticism.

We all know that one adult who can’t bear to hear that they are wrong. That can’t take any type of reply to their ideas or opinions other than “yep,” Don’t be that adult. You are better than that, and your child needs you to be better than that.

You Excessively Brag and Make Excuses for Your Child

Can we be honest here? You should be proud of your kid. Your kid probably does something fantastic stuff that mine can’t do. However it’s ok too if your child messes up. In fact it’s better if they mess up while they are children, so they learn to handle that. If you make excuses for their behaviors instead of showing them how to deal with not being perfect- you are missing out a learning opportunity for the child. And as it turns out you may be raising a narcissist.

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You Speak Badly of Anyone That is “Different” in Front of Your Child

This one is trickier and trickier it seems. In a time when we are so enlightened it seems that everyone feels shamed for their views. There is a difference in pointing out how you disagree with a religion/belief system and trying to prove you are superior to it. Expressing superiority in regards to age/race/gender/sexual preference – gosh, just please don’t do that. Let’s be past that in this generation, okay?

You Recognize Narcissistic Traits in Yourself and Don’t Take Steps To Get Better

There is a hereditary component to narcissism. There are personality traits that is a person is born with. However if you feel like you have some traits that fall into the Narcissistic column and you don’t get some help before having a kid… it may be time to re-evaluate now. Some day when you are in the old folks’ home and your grown-up child is too wrapped up in him/herself to visit you, you will possibly regret not taking some time to work on these things now.

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If you are interested in more information on this that is less opinion and more scientific please go to this link to find what the Washington Post wrote about the subject. I found it extremely interesting and well written.

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Published on November 7, 2018

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

In 2016, it was estimated that 1.7 million children were being homeschooled in the U.S, roughly 3.3% of all school-aged children.[1] Although this may not sound like a big portion of the population, the growth rate of homeschooling has been 7 to15% per year for the last two decades.

The burgeoning numbers are not a coincidence. There are tremendous benefits to homeschooling, including one-on-one teaching, adaptability to individual needs and learning styles, a safe learning environment, encouraging learning for knowledge rather than grades, and tailoring a curriculum to the child’s interests.

Is homeschooling something that you have been considering for your family? With all of the tools and resources available for homeschoolers in the 21st century, it may be easier than you think.

How to Homeschool (Getting Started)

After thinking it through, you’ve decided that homeschooling is the right step for you and your family. Now what? Here are the first things you should do to get your homeschooling journey started on the right track.

Figure Out the Laws

Homeschooling is regulated by the state, not the federal government. The first step is to find the current and accurate legal requirements mandated by your state in order to educate your child legally.[2]

The regulations can vary widely, from strict guidelines to no guidelines at all. However, don’t be overwhelmed by the legal jargon. There are many resources and local communities for homeschooling families that can help you figure out the logistics.

Decide on an Approach

Every child’s needs are different. This is your chance to choose the homeschooling style or combination of styles that best fits your child’s learning style and interests. A brief description of seven different homeschooling methods are listed below.

Supplies/Resources

Often times, purchasing a homeschooling curriculum is done too early in the planning process, resulting in buyer’s remorse.

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A curriculum is not always needed for homeschooling, and other types of free or less structured resources are readily available.

Find a Community

Getting connected with a community of homeschoolers is one of the most important parts of building a successful and thriving homeschool environment for your kids.

Look for communities online for virtual support or a local group that you and your kids can interact with. Partnering with others fosters better socialization skills for the students and provides opportunities for field trips, classes, and outings that wouldn’t have otherwise been a part of the homeschooling experience.

7 Different Homeschooling Methods

1. School-At-Home

Also known as Traditional homeschool, School-At-Home uses essentially the same curriculum as the local private or public school but at home.

The lessons can be completed independently, but more commonly, they are administered by a parent or a teacher-facilitated online school.

  • Benefits: formal standards, wide selection of curricula, same pace as peers, short-term friendly
  • Drawbacks: expensive, inflexible, time consuming, parent can get easily burnt out
  • Resources: K12, Time4Learning, Abeka

2. Classical

One of the most popular homeschooling methods used, it borrows educational practices from Ancient Greece and Rome. Subject areas are studied chronologically so that students can understand the consequence of ideas over time.

Socratic dialogue fosters effective discussions and debate to achieve beyond mere comprehension. There is often a strong emphasis on Great Books[3] as well as Greek and Latin.

3. Unit Studies

Rather than breaking up education into subjects, unit studies approach each topic as a whole, studying it from the perspective of each subject area.

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For example, a unit study about animals could include reading books about animals, learning about the classification of animals, figuring out which animals live on which continents, etc. This method is often used as a technique in other more comprehensive educational methodologies.

  • Benefits: promotes thinking about concepts as a whole, not monotonous or redundant, student-directed, bolsters weaker subject areas, beneficial for teaching multi-age students
  • Drawbacks: incomplete, knowledge gaps, curriculum-dependent
  • Resources: Unit Study, Unit Studies, Unit Studies Made Easy, Konos

4. Charlotte Mason

This Christian homeschooling style utilizes shorts periods of study (15-20 minute max for elementary, 45 minute max for high school), along with nature walks and history portfolios.

Students are encouraged to practice observation, memorization, and narration often. With a focus on “living books” (stories with heroes, life lessons, socio-ethical implications), reading plays a big role in this student-paced teaching style.

5. Montessori

Maria Montessori developed this method through working with special needs children in the early 20th century.

With a primary focus on the student setting the pace and indirect instruction from the teacher, this approach includes free movement, large unstructured time blocks (up to 3 hours), multi-grade classes, and individualized learning plans based on interests.

6. Unschooling

Unschooling is a learning model largely based on the work of John Holt.[4] The teaching style focuses mainly on the students’ interests, putting priority on experiential, activity-based, and learn as you go approaches.

For basic skills such as reading, writing, and math, a systematic technique is employed, but testing and evaluations are typically not utilized. Teachers, in general, play more of a facilitator role.

7. Eclectic/Relaxed

As the most popular method of homeschool, eclectic homeschooling is child-directed, resourceful, and non-curriculum based.

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Parents can sample any combination of homeschooling methods and styles or resources. One growing sector of eclectic homeschooling combines part homeschooling with part traditional schooling.

How to Facilitate Homeschooling with Technology

One of the reasons homeschooling is more feasible than ever before is due to the accessibility of tools and resources to enhance the learning process.

Email

Email is a tool that has really stood the test of time. Invented in 1972, it is still used today as a primary means of communicating on the Internet.

It is a great way to share assignments, links, and videos between parent and student.

Google Drive/Calendar

Google Drive offers a multitude of essential programs that can come in handy for homeschoolers, such as Docs, Sheets, Slides, and more.

With its sharing capabilities, easy accessibility, and auto-save ability, it’s easier than ever to organize and complete assignments. It will improve students’ writing and typing skills, as well as eliminate the need for paper.

Google Calendar is an excellent tool for tracking assignment due dates, planning field trips and activities, and developing time management skills.

Ebooks

Rather than invest in physical copies of books, ebooks are a wonderful option for saving money and space. There are plenty of places that offer a free or paid subscription to a wide selection of ebooks:

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E-Courses

When a structured curriculum is necessary for teaching a certain topic, an e-course is the way to go.

From watercolors to calculus, there are e-courses available about almost everything. Including different teaching styles that vary from the parents will encourage students to learn in different ways.

The visual and auditory stimulation will also be beneficial in helping students understand and retain the concepts being taught.

Some recommendations:

Youtube

Youtube is not just a platform for music videos and cats doing funny things. There are a number of Youtube channels that produce quality educational videos, free of charge.

Creating a playlist of videos for various topics is a great way to supplement a homeschool education.

Some recommendations:

Final Thoughts

Homeschooling in the current age looks much different than it did ten years ago. There are more options and more flexibility when it comes to educating kids at home.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the idea of homeschooling your children if it could make a positive impact on your family.

Featured photo credit: Hal Gatewood via unsplash.com

Reference

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