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A Sorry Letter To Myself, Though That “Me” Doesn’t Exist Anymore

A Sorry Letter To Myself, Though That “Me” Doesn’t Exist Anymore

Hey Me,

I am sorry you were so afraid, so startled and so alone.

I am sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stand behind you when you really needed to believe. I am really sorry for not supporting you to be anything you wanted to be. No person should ever be left alone in the desperation of solitude. But you were, and I want to remind you something.

When you were told that writing was a hobby, you secretly whispered ‘no’. When they didn’t allow you to study a degree in Arts, you didn’t give in and kept practicing. When the struggles like depression and asxiety appeared, you never stop fighting. When people scared you saying ‘it is tough’, ‘it requires a lot of work’, ‘you are going to starve with no income,’ you didn’t listen to their words.

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Thank you for standing strong for both of us, even if there were times where they bent your will and crushed your hopes; when there was times where striving seemed pointless. Thank you, because without you there would be no me today.

I am just sorry you had to endure it all on your own and that it took me so long, more than a decade, to realize it was all worth it. Yes, the tears and the depression and the doubts… All was worth it to be here today.

But the painful truth is that deep down each single word others said yielded your spirit. You tried to not let them see you down even if you were broken and bleeding inside. But it did get to you.

I am sorry you had to do it alone. But I couldn’t be more proud of you, little girl. Because when nobody, not a single person, encouraged you to pursue your dream, our dream, you refused to believe they were right no matter how much you wanted to scream it out loud.

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Looking back, it still hurt.

I know how many times you felt desperate, running away in to the darkness. I know how many times you wanted to abandon and admit it was useless. I remember each single time you felt hopelessly worthless, crying yourself to sleep because the world didn’t wanted to see how great you could be.

I know because I was there, and your pain has been my pain. And your fears are my fears today.

And your bravery, my child, that bravery is my drive today.

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The truth is: it is not over. I am a writer today but people still saying I should just bail and live a comfortable, dull life. It makes me fearful and doubtful; what if they are right after all? Should I just quit? Is it too late to stop challenging myself?

But thanks to you I refuse to believe them.

I refuse to listen for my own sake but also for your memory: because deep down, even in your worst hour, you didn’t yield. Not completely. You found your path, which is also mine, and you raced against the odds and storms.

You didn’t admit a defeat.

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I am sorry that I was weak, a fool and too afraid to stand behind our dreams. That is why I have gathered my entire valor and my gratitude, and commit myself to the labor of never, ever surrender.

You deserve more and I will dare the impossible to make it happen.

Even if who you were does no longer exist, within me there will always live a little girl, too scared to say aloud ‘I am a writer.’

I will say it for you: I am a writer. I didn’t give up on my dream. And I will never let you down again.

And you, dear reader, you shouldn’t either.

Featured photo credit: Doug Robichaud via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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