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What People Who’ve Been Betrayed Really Want You To Know

What People Who’ve Been Betrayed Really Want You To Know

It’s absolutely inevitable for us to feel betrayal at some point. It could have been your ex who cheated on you or a friend who you told a secret to only for them to make it known to the whole universe. It could also be someone who you trusted that molested you and this is not just for the women; gentlemen, you are included too. Betrayal comes in different forms and though it’s relative we all have suffered from it. It’s not the easiest thing to elaborate on but it’s worth the while.  These are the things that we want you to know.

We will never forget what you did.

Never in a million years will we forget and as soon as you touch base with us, our minds probably go straight to replaying what you did. This is just something we as humans do. We can put it past us but never hold it in your head that we will just throw it out the window. No! It’s a trigger and you called the shot. Do not get it twisted, though, we may have forgiven you but it’s going to always be there. So don’t mix forgiveness with naïveté.

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There will always be a doubt in our heads that you aren’t genuine.

It’s pretty much as the saying goes, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me”. We will expect the same thing from you in the long run though you may be given another chance. This is a second chance with caution and you must always try to prove yourself otherwise.

Things will never be the same.

When you have a piece of jewelry like a chain and the links are broken; when you go to the jeweler to fix it, it may look brand new but the value lessens because it isn’t the original chain anymore. It’s the same with our hearts. Even thinking about what happened before will bring the same feelings back that we had initially and unless we learn to control it which is not a given, it will always be there.

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You are a learning experience and a stepping stone.

Whatever you did brought light to us; now we know who you really are and what you’re capable of. We think you are capable now of doing even worse to us and believe me when I say that you are being watched because nothing you do now will be taken lightly. And do not tell us that it’s all in our heads because you simply can’t take back what you did and experience brings forth wisdom.

IT HURTS!

No matter how many apologies you write, text or sorry songs you play outside our windows, it still freakin’ hurts. Don’t expect us to smile with you immediately after it happens and try to pretend like it never happened. We are human and we feel the impacts of the blows when we are attacked. We can heal but don’t expect it to be on your terms. No gallons of ice cream, shouting on top of our voices or hitting the wall can stop this. It just always hurts but only if you meant something to us in the first place.

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The thing is, we know that life goes on after betrayal and we will eventually move past it – but these are things we face while going through the motions. We cannot just simply get up after it happens and genuinely feel nothing about it. We have our ways of getting over it but it’s okay to feel the way we feel for some time. The only long term effect is that you will always be a backstabber to us until you have proven yourself otherwise.

Featured photo credit: VictorBezrukov via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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