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Psychologists Find The Surprising Benefit Of Going Through Hard Times

Psychologists Find The Surprising Benefit Of Going Through Hard Times

Going through hard times is rough and uncomfortable, but there are hidden benefits that make it worth it. No one really enjoys the experience of being homeless, jobless, a victim of identity theft, losing your home and most of your belongings to fire, flood or even a tornado, living with cancer in your body, etc., but psychologists say that these lifetime events make us stronger physically and mentally.

According to a research report by Psychologists, Judith Mangelsdorf and Michael Eid: What makes a thriver? Unifying the concepts of posttraumatic and postecstatic growth, “Individuals who lived through posttraumatic growth typically report positive changes in the areas of relationships, spirituality, appreciation of life, openness for new possibilities, and personal strengths.”

1. Relationships

After going through a traumatic event such as losing a loved one, people usually feel closer to their friends and family members. Before the trauma, we tend to take for granted our friendship and kinship with those we have in our lives. After the trauma, such as suffering a loss of someone who meant a great deal to us, like a parent or grand-parent, we realize how precious time is for sharing life with those who are closest to us in our lives and we make more of an effort to connect with them.

Like the song says : “Goin fishin isn’t such an imposition.” (Tim McGraw, Live Like you were Dying)

2. Spirituality

Surviving a life-threatening event makes us realize our lives on earth are temporary and we reach out to a higher power to feel safe. Let’s face it, just about everyone I know fears dying. So, when life throws a curve ball, like being diagnosed with cancer, and you feel scared, it’s comforting to know that no matter what happens, you are going to be alright. We know we are powerless at times against cancer, fire, floods, tornadoes, job loss, etc., so it helps to connect with a high power who has the control over our lives we do not have.

3. Appreciation of Life

When we come face to face with an event whereby we could have been killed, such as a plane crash, we tend to see our life from a different point of view. We usually call it “a second chance” and tend to take inventory to see what we have done in our lifetime and what it is we have not done. While we go through the pain and agony of being broken and bruised, we make plans to have fun and be more spontaneous, and maybe even change our schedule to allow for more family time.

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4. Openness to new Possibilities

Suddenly, after having survived an event that ordinarily would have resulted in death, we view our lives looking through a lens we never used before: “possibilities.” Before the traumatic experience, we may have been set on a course and no one or nothing would steer us off of it, but now, since we have been given more time to live, other possibilities come into play.

Perhaps, there is a new invention written in a notebook with a hesitance to go through the process of making it a real product for others to use, but now there is an urge to take the invention idea to the next level. Or you have had a thought concerning a new career and now being a survivor of hard times, you are open to making a career change.

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5. Personal Strength

An event that nearly takes our life away can make us feel stronger physically and mentally for having survived it. Now we are thinking that we can be more adaptable to certain people and circumstances than ever before. Psychologist believe that after a person survives a death-defying event, their thought processes change significantly and begin to think of themselves more capable of handling anything life throws at them.

Life definitely has its ups and downs, with its hard times. It’s not a pleasant experience going through these challenging times, but it is somewhat comforting to know that you will survive them and be stronger in the long run.

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Featured photo credit: Psychedelic Vision Walk in the Forest via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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