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7 Simple Tricks For Getting Your Kids To Stop Whining

7 Simple Tricks For Getting Your Kids To Stop Whining

Before you start…

Make a rule to your children that whining isn’t allowed in this house.

But instead of being nags about it, parents can enlist your kids’ help, “We’ll have to let people know when they come to visit that there’s no whining in our house! Can you help with that?”

Like most people, children dig the idea of telling people off for doing something that they do themselves.

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no-whining-no-complaining-absolutely-no-frowning-only-hugs-smiles-and-warm-fuzzy-feelings-are-allowed

    This trick helped a lot, but it didn’t completely get child to stop whining.

    So I went in search of some new tricks and here are a few tips culled from various parenting sites on how to handle whining kids.

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    1. Nip it in the bud. From webmd.com:

    “To avoid whining, [pediatrician Laurel Schultz, MD] advises parents not to wait until children are in distress to acknowledge them. “It’s important to respond to that first bid for attention, if you can,” she says. “If you are on the phone or in the middle of a conversation, make eye contact with your child and put a finger up, so she knows you’ll be with her in a minute. Then give your child your attention as soon as you can politely do so.”

    2. Empathise before you lecture. From parents.com:

    “Don’t say: “You can’t always get what you want.” Yes, it’s tempting to start humming that Rolling Stones tune, but what you really need to do is show empathy — at least before the whining becomes a full-blown tantrum. “Say, ‘It does look like a fun toy, and I bet you’d really like it. Should we add it to your birthday list or would you like to save your allowance money for it?’” says [Toni Schutta, a psychologist and parent coach in St. Paul]. “This helps kids learn to delay gratification.” Plus, this response gives them hope and empowers them, and it teaches them the importance of saving money.”

    3. Show your kid what to aim for. From askdrsears.com:

    “Replay for your child how unpleasant [whining] sounds, being careful not to mock. Don’t do this when you are both emotional. Do it at a calm time. Whine back: “Which do you like, Mommy’s sour voice (‘I don’t wanna make supper’) or Mommy’s sweet voice (‘Gosh, I’m tired. I could use some help’)?”

    4. Let her know when she got it right. From parents.com:

    “Parents always point out, ‘That’s not a nice voice’ but often don’t provide enough positive reinforcement,” says [Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of Parents Do Make a Difference]. You might say, “Thanks for using your normal voice” or “My ears love that voice.”

    5. Don’t ignore the whining. From parents.com:

    “Put away the earplugs and take action. “Kids can whine all day, easily outlasting a parent who is trying to tune it out,” says Rene Hackney, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist in Alexandria, Virginia. “The longer you let your child complain, the more determined she’ll become to get her way.” Instead, help your child understand that her whining voice is very hard to listen to. You can say, “I can’t understand you when you whine. If you want to tell me how you feel, then I need you to use your regular voice.”

    6. Be playful. Here’s a foolproof magic trick to stop whining that’s worked for us when we’re out running errands. Or you could try reading this book to your kids. From cnn.com:

    “Debbie Granick of St. Louis uses a “whine” cup, or bowl or bucket or whatever’s at hand. “Whenever one of them starts, I say, ‘Here, go pour out your whine and bring me your regular voice.’ It gets a smile, or at least that ‘Oh, Mom’ look, and then they’ll usually change their tone.” She then thanks her child for using a “pleasant” voice. Or whisper your answer back. “You may have to whisper it several times, but your child will have to be quiet to hear you, and a lot of times he’ll mimic your tone of voice,” says Karen Shaffer, a mom of three in Highland, California.”

    7. Reconnect for a few minutes. From webmd.com:

    “Often whining signals it’s time to reconnect with your child.” To do that, [educator and developmental psychologist Becky Bailey, PhD] advises parents to spend some focused time together reading, cooking a meal, or doing something else the child enjoys. “A few minutes connecting with your child once or twice a day can make a huge difference for families dealing with difficult behaviors,” Bailey says.

    Credits to idealistmom.com

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    Published on October 18, 2018

    Reading for Kids: 17 Reasons Why It’s Important and Where to Start

    Reading for Kids: 17 Reasons Why It’s Important and Where to Start

    Reading is one of the most important activities that you can encourage your children to do. It’s entertaining, thought provoking, and absolutely critical to success later in life.

    Being a proficient reader by the third grade is an integral factor in a child’s future success. Reading for kids is not just a fun pastime. It is the gateway to learning about other people, places, and ideas, with limitless possibilities.

    Why Reading for Kids Is Important?

    Develops Vocabulary and Language Skills

    Before your kids are able to read on their own, it’s important to nurture a love for books early on. Reading aloud to them at a young age is a great way to promote verbal communication skills between parent and child.

    As kids get older, we speak to them on a daily basis, but the vocabulary and topics that they are exposed to are limited and often repetitive. Reading books will improve your child’s vocabulary and expose them to different types of sentence structure, writing styles, and ways to express themselves.

    Not only will your children’s reading comprehension improve over time, this will also have a positive effect on their writing and communication skills. For children who are bilingual or learning a second language, reading is an important component of attaining or maintaining fluency.

    Encourages a Thirst for Knowledge

    There are books written about any topic imaginable, many in a wide variety of reading levels.

    When reading books, your kids will be introduced to a wide variety of topics, cultures, and ideas. They will realize how much knowledge is out there to be discovered and delve further into the subjects that interest them the most.

    In many cases, they will be enjoying the content of the book so much that they won’t even realize they are gaining so much knowledge about a particular topic.

    Increases Empathy

    Children have a very narrow understanding of the world around them. This is due to the limited number of experiences that they have encountered, based on the circumstances in which they grew up.

    Reading books about different types of people who have had a wide range of experiences allow kids to not only appreciate diversity but also to understand what it may be like being in someone else’s shoes.

    Doing so will help them appreciate and empathize with people who have very little in common with them and help them develop into more well-rounded individuals.

    The Best Form of Entertainment

    In the current age, technology has become the go-to for entertainment for adults and kids. Although TV shows and kids apps like these can be a great resource for learning, books are a better choice every time.

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    Rather than spending hours in front of a screen, encourage your kids to consider books as the default source of entertainment. Studies show that in families where reading was emphasized, the children are more likely to read independently and develop a passion for books in the long run.

    Creates a Bond

    There are multiple ways that reading creates a bond between parent and child. Starting from infancy, reading aloud promotes closeness and intimacy through spending time together and being physically close.

    As your child gets older, you can continue to read aloud or read the same book separately and talk about the parts that you enjoyed the most.

    Use reading as an opportunity engage and interact with your child, asking them about their thoughts on topics covered in the book or connecting the story to everyday life.

    Exercises Their Brain

    Reading requires more brain power than watching TV. When our kids read books, they utilize the part of their brain that deals with multi-sensory integrations, making connections between words and visual thinking.

    For beginner readers, illustrations can be a useful tool to help them grasp the narrative and gain better comprehension. In the case of more advanced readers, they use their brain when gathering context clues to help them figure out words or phrases that are unfamiliar.

    Reading also stimulates critical thinking, spurring kids to make connections between the book and real life and to form opinions about the story.

    Improves Concentration

    Reading a book requires focus and concentration, which are essential skills to work on, even for toddlers who have trouble sitting still.

    Consistently reading books will help your kids practice quieting their minds and their bodies to focus on a task for a set period of time.

    By taking away distractions and giving them space to read and understand, their attention spans and ability to concentration will greatly improve over time.

    Sets Them up for Success in School and Life

    There have been numerous studies that indicate reading books to children at an early age has a lasting effect on their success in school, which often directly correlates with success in the workplace.[1] But the benefits are not just limited to academic success.

    Reading is a long-term learning experience that promotes growth, which will result in your children becoming more effective people overall – better spouses, bosses, and friends.

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    Promotes Creativity and Imagination

    When reading a story, our children create an image of how they perceive the story to look in their minds, using creativity and imagination. Every person sees a different image in their mind, and it may change each time the same book is read.

    Reading also introduces new worlds, whether real or fictional, that we have never been a part of before. Immersing in the book allows your kids to imagine new experiences and scenarios that they never thought possible.

    They will be able to bring these ideas into their play time and use their creativity to go beyond the limits brought on by their everyday lives.

    Where To Start

    Now that you are aware of the multitude of benefits that reading can provide for your kids, what’s the next step?

    If your child has not yet developed a love for reading, it’s not too late to start.

    1. Make Reading a Choice, Not a Chore

    Don’t make reading a mandatory task or assigned chore. Encourage and remind your kids to read, but let them make the ultimate decision on when to read and for how long. Feeling like they are being compelled to read will inevitably take the joy out of the experience.

    If you have a reluctant reader, try to figure out what the root cause of the reluctance is. If your kids are struggling with words, find a few books below their reading level to instill confidence in recognizing the words they DO know. Gradually transition to harder books until they are more eager to read voluntarily.

    Another alternative is to try audiobooks. Hearing another person reading confidently is a great way to experience fluency, and they will be able to enjoy the book without having to stumble through it.

    If the content is the issue, and they find reading to be boring, introduce them to different types of reading material (see below).

    2. Suggest a Variety of Reading Material

    Reading can come in so many forms and every type has something unique to offer the reader. If your kids are having trouble finding joy in reading, it may be because they haven’t found a genre that fits their interests.

    Traditional books come in many genres, including mystery, history, biographies, fantasy, science fiction, and more. Some books are written in unique and fun styles, such as choose your own adventure books, diary novel, or epistolary novel.

    If you are looking for reading material that is more visually stimulating, try a graphic novel, a magazine, or a travel book. Books are also great resources for learning a new skill. Joke books, magic books, and cook books are great examples of these.

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    Don’t forget to show your kids the practical side of reading as well. Enlist their help in reading out the grocery list at the store or ask them to read recipe instructions when cooking in the kitchen together. All types of reading counts:

      3. Experience Books Firsthand

      As your kids read more books, they may start to imagine what it would be like if they were characters in the books. A great way to support their love for reading would be to help them depict their favorite parts of their book.

      Look up a recipe for butter beer (Harry Potter) or Turkish Delight (The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe) and make it together. Start planting a garden together after reading The Secret Garden.

      Another fun way to celebrate finishing a book is watching the movie interpretation of it. Seeing beloved characters come to life on screen is an easy way to enhance the enjoyment of reading.

      4. Be an Example

      You are the main person that your kids look up to. Kids love copying their parents and doing the things they observe their parents doing on a daily basis.

      Don’t just tell your kids to read often; show them by doing it yourself.[2] Actions speak louder than words.

      When you model your own love of reading and books and show them the joy it brings to your life, they will be inclined to feel the same way.

      5. Set Aside Time

      For a child with a busy schedule and so many other fun screen-filled activities to choose from, it can be difficult to purposely reserve time for reading.

      Make this decision a little easier by creating dedicated time that is just for reading. This can be just before bed, right after homework, or whatever time works best for your family’s busy schedule. This time can be used for read aloud time with your child or independent reading.

      6. Bring Books to Life

      Finding real life connections to the books that your kids are reading will extend the joy of the reading experience.

      Did your children just finish a book about life on the farm? Take them to visit a local farm and experience what they read about firsthand. Reading a book about planets and space can turn into a trip to the planetarium.

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      For a more memorable excursion, take a family trip out of the country, like visiting London after finishing the Harry Potter series.

      7. Make Books Accessible

      One of my favorite activities to do as a child was to go to the library. The vast number of books that were at my disposal made me so excited to read.

      Find a great library in your area to take your children and let them experience the magic of limitless possibility. Sign your kids up for their own library card and encourage them to take ownership of their reading adventure.

      Start a small collection of books at home so that your kids will always have books at their fingertips. Visit a bookstore, browse online, or sign up for a monthly book subscription. Getting access to new books on a regular basis will keep reading exciting and fun.

      8. Start a Book Club

      Having other people help you stay accountable is a great motivation to read more and to discover new books you may not have otherwise.

      Encourage your kids to start a book club, either with their peers or with you. Choose a book everyone would enjoy and set a deadline for getting together and discussing what each person thought of the book. The tangible due date is a great incentive to stay on track and read on a regular basis.

      The Bottom Line

      Fostering a love for reading in your kids is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

      Reading books can transport them anywhere they could imagine, and the benefits that it provides for them in the short and long term are innumerable.

      Use these tips to actively encourage reading to be an enjoyable part of their lives, and it will be worth the effort.

      Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

      Reference

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