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11 Signs You’re So Independent You Scare People Away (And Why It’s Alright)

11 Signs You’re So Independent You Scare People Away (And Why It’s Alright)

Being highly independent is a good thing. It means you are strong and you have something working right for you, both professionally and personally. However, this can be an intimidating personality to some who feel bewildered by what the term “independence” means.

It’s awesome to be independent, but you should be watchful of the following signs because they just might scare some people away.

1. You are focused on your career

Your career takes so much of your time and energy, it almost feels like a vacuum. Other activities not related to your job might seem mundane in comparison.

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2. You know how to say “no”

You have become great at saying “no” to things or activities that do not drive you to your goals. You totally dominate your focus on time and resources. You do not want anyone messing up with what you have going on.

3. You take care of your bills

You are in control of your finances. If someone wants to help you out with taking care of this, you would gladly never oblige to it.

4. You are ambitious

You always want more out of life. Good is not enough, you know you can be better. You are always improving yourself and doing well to make sure you are a better fit for your aspirations.

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5. You are selective about relationships

You do not throw yourself at every association or relationship that comes your way. You are meticulous about the relationship you want to go into. You look at patterns and ask yourself the right questions before dipping yourself into any alliances.

6. You are strong

You are not easily fooled or intimidated. Since you are independent, you know what you want out of life and you are clear about it. This affects your self-esteem and confidence positively as you would not accept less than what you feel you deserve.

7. You are realistic

You do not chase after the wind. You know your strengths and flaws. You are willing to use this knowledge as a compass to pursuing those things you want. You are also realistic about your direction and where you are going.

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8. You are not comfortable being with needy people

This may push such people away, as you always want activity around you rather than idleness. Yes, such attitude towards people who are not making the best use of their energy and time can make you look icy and callous, but it is just who you are. It has worked so far.

9. You are in control of your life

You are in control of your activities, the way you expend your energy and resources, and you will only give yourself to things that you are interested in because, at the end of the day, it is not about what others think.

10. You plan for the future

You know that living is not about the present, you also have to think of where you will be in the next couple of years. You make plans and organize your affairs in a way that you will meet the future you are determined to get or that you feel you deserve.

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11. You are cool with being on your own

You don’t feel needy or try to depend on others. You know how to manage yourself. You are cool with being on your own. Even if no one calls you or tries to contact you, you are fine. You wouldn’t want to trouble others or be in their face. Instead, you would rather find ways to deal with your challenges or situations. At the end of the day, that is what independence means and you are fully up to the task of embracing your true self.

Conclusion

Being highly independent can scare some people away, but you are not callous or mean, you just know how to get the things you want and deserve. What is so wrong about that?

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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