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8 Amazing Things Would Happen When You Let Go of Stereotypes

8 Amazing Things Would Happen When You Let Go of Stereotypes

There’s no single person just like you in the world.  Yes, every one of us is special and unique.  Moreover, we are all different.  Despite we recognize that we have different thoughts, values and life experiences, we easily become stereotypical towards others. We’ve all witnessed and experienced it.  Sadly a stereotype exists in every culture and society, and negative stereotypes seem far more common.

Research shows a stereotype impacts not only victims but also ourselves on unconscious level. Stereotyping is a common form of discrimination, and can be detrimental to those who experience it. People are often generalized and labeled based on gender, age, appearance, ethnicity, religion or any other factor in their identity. This can make stereotyped persons feel unfairly judged and their feelings on this matter can permanently alter their view of themselves and the world around them.

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So open your heart and get ready to share amazing things that would happen when you let go of these ugly stereotypes.

1. You will be free from judgment.

Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. It might be over small things or even bigger issues.  However, once you practice to put yourself in his or her shoes and try to understand where the person may be coming from, you will become more empathetic towards the person and the situation.  Gradually it will be easier to catch yourself before you make a judgment. Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.  As Dalai Lama says, “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.

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2. You will become more positive person.

A stereotyped person views others in a negative light. In turn, the person who is stereotyped throughout their lifetime will become more aggressive and hostile toward people they encounter. These people may develop a bitter outlook on society, often assuming that others will discriminate against them and becoming defensive at the slightest inclination of a stereotype.  You see the vicious cycle? Thus, be the person who transmits positive energy instead of spreading negative emotions in you and others.

3. You will make more nonconformist friends.

Birds of a feather flock together.  You attract what you are.  There are probably some people who fit whatever stereotype you can think of and as a result, you may reject them right off the bat.  As the world is crowded, a lot of us feel isolated and miss the opportunity to connect. Imagine how many more allies you can make amongst over 7 billion people in the world, more than 320 million in US alone. Certainly you won’t be lonely.

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4. You will radiate more love to the universe.

Once again, remember Mother Teresa’s saying; if you judge you can not love.  You don’t have to be religious to claim we are here to serve, or a love for all humanity.  Giving and receiving love is a fundamental right and our deepest desire in every single soul.  A stereotype becomes a stumbling block to express love. One of scary effects of stereotypes is how it’s labeling people unfairly and can adversary shape our culture. Take the Holocaust and ongoing armed conflicts for examples. Welcoming someone that’s different than you with open arms is a foundation of building a peaceful place to live.

5. You will be a role model to children.

Stereotyping will impact the way how children think about others and themselves. Stereotyping is often learned at young age and encouraging bullying behavior that they carry into adulthood. They grow up thinking that they should behave or become certain way to be accepted and that’s the ideal.  Some biased messages from media also can be the blame.  You don’t have to be a parent or teacher to guide them not to be stereotypical.  Start with you first.  Treat others equally with respect regardless of sex, sexual orientation, race, culture, religion or personality. They are watching you and learning from you.

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6. You will be open minded.

In the Tedx “The danger of a single story”, Chimamanda Adichie argues that knowing a single story of a person or a country can cause misunderstanding and create stereotypes. This demonstrates how people are influenced by a single story of a country or a person, and are not aware of many other stories that could change the perception of them.  However, we can change and grow now. We can start making effort into getting to know people on a real level. How great would it be if we all tried to take steps towards greater acceptance in our lives?

7. You will be authentic to yourself.

This time, let’s assume you are the victim of being stereotyped.  Your self-esteem and self-image could have been damaged.  Sometimes in life, you are the one in your way.  You stand up for yourself, the good, the bad and the ugly, and what you believe to yourself and others. That’s when you are not judged by yourself who is your worst enemy. When you practice self-acceptance without judgment, you will find yourself being confident, empowering and authentic to your true-self, whether you are accepted by others or not.

8. You will contribute harmony to the society

Making assumptions about people’s cultures and where they come from is just something else that makes us inherently human, and will probably continue for a very long time. But we can all afford to be more aware of the world around us and respectful as we’re trying to understand different and unusual things. With all of this we can change our perception of the stereotypes that are deeply rooted in our culture and make of this a better society. With one change at a time, one person at a time, you can make a difference to create a more harmonious setting in this multicultural community.

So, stop the blonde jokes at the office and give a pay raise to your female manager for a job well done.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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