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Psychologist Says We Must Accept Who We Are In Order to Change

Psychologist Says We Must Accept Who We Are In Order to Change

Now I understand we all naturally dislike change because honestly we are not used to it. Change can be scary or intimidating to those who are way too comfortable in their comfort-zone. Some people might even say that they don’t want to change because frankly it is not who they are or it just doesn’t feel right.

But Why Doesn’t Change Feel Right?

The reason why it doesn’t feel right is because we are creatures of habit. Once we get out of our daily routine, it starts to feel uncomfortable and weird. It’s like writing with your left hand when you are a righty. It just feels all weird and uncomfortable and you just want to go back to your old habits.

Is It Necessary To Be Constantly Changing In Your Life?

However it is a necessity to be constantly changing in your life because you have the adapt to your own unique situation.

Charles Darwin said it best.

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“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin

What Do We Have To Do Before We Can Change?

Before we can even change ourselves, we must accept who we actually are, since we need a starting point. It’s like using a GPS or Google Maps. First, we have to figure out where we are now (or who we are now) and then figure out where we want to go (or WHO we want to become)

And the first step is always figuring out where you are now (or who you realistically are now) and confirming your location (or accepting who you are). Once you figure out who you realistically are and accept who you are, then you are READY for change.

Carl Roger once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Roger

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And FYI, Carl Roger was considered to be one of the founding fathers of psychotherapy research and was honored for his pioneering research with the Award for Distinguished Scientific Contributions by the American Psychological Association.

Basically Carl Roger Knows What He’s Talking About

Now to help you figure out and accept who you are, try to generally describe who you think you are at first. Try to look at yourself like a scientist observing a specimen. A scientist just gets the facts straight.

Remember be honest no one here is judging you! After you describe who you think you are, try to find events in the past that prove your own description. For example let’s say Steve is shy. Steve knows that he is shy and has proof from past experience. In the 8th grade he remembered he couldn’t bring himself to ask out his crush Vicky on a date. Even in his senior year of high school he was terrified during group presentation.

Now I don’t want you to feel bad or anything like that. I just want you to figure out who you are with evidence from your past experience.

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Now What Do You Do After You Accept Who You Are?

Now that you figured out and accepted who you realistically are, you have to figure out who you want to become. Imagine who you want to become. Imagine this amazing version of you that can accomplish all your goals in life. Now if you think only imagining your new amazing self won’t do any good, thankfully you are wrong. Don’t ever underestimate your brain!

There has been research done on how your imagination affects the brain. They tested 3 groups of basketball players.

  • 1st group was told to do nothing.
  • 2nd group was told to imagine successfully shooting the ball in the basket from the free throw line.
  • 3rd group was told to practice shooting the ball from the free throw line

The 1st group showed no improvement. (Obviously)

However the 2nd and 3rd group had similar improvement results even though the 2nd group only imagined successfully shooting the ball in the basket. And it’s not only for basketball. It has been proven in other activities such as playing the piano. So imagine who this version of you is and get to really know that “new you.”

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The more you ACT like the “new you”, the more you BECOME that person. Basically what you are doing is replacing an old habit (or old behavior) with a new habit (or new behavior). The easiest way to get rid of old habits (like smoking) is to form new ones that are more fun and beneficial for you.

One Last Note

If you are doing everything right and are starting to change, people around you will start to notice. Don’t pay attention to what they say because when you start changing people can’t label you anymore.

Featured photo credit: Change = Progress = Happiness via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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