Stay in your comfort zone and nothing will ever happen! There will be no changes at all in your life, no self-improvement, no gaining new skills and experiences. You have reduced stress to a minimum and routine is king. Just go back to sleep and enjoy the warmth and security.
Now, when you wake up again, think about this. If you were to move out of your comfort zone, how would you feel? Well, a bit scared, hungry, tired and downright uncomfortable. And what would you gain from all that? You could be happier, more successful and much more confident for a start. Then you would be able to get your fears into perspective, boredom would deflate like a burst balloon, and excitement would become your new power drug.
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”- Brian Tracy
Now, let’s get started. Here are 10 small steps to help you get out of that stuffy comfort zone.
1. Convert your anxiety into action
Too much anxiety can paralyze you. Too little can make you lethargic. Psychologists have identified the sweet spot which is somewhere in between. Practice identifying your fears and take action. The Nike slogan “Just do it” is a really great one.
2. Change your diet
Nothing drastic to start with. Maybe you need more energy and maybe you need to slim down. Get an app like My Fitness Pal which will tell you where you are going wrong. You can find a full list of apps here. Then eliminate the bad food gradually and start trying a new one every day or every week.
3. Try volunteering
Move out of your comfort zone and help others. Yes, it will be a bit strange and uncomfortable but the rewards are great. Watch the TED talk here by Mark Bezos who works in his spare time as a volunteer firefighter.
“If you have something to give, give it now.” – Mark Bezos
4. Break out of your routine
Look at how you do things and how you waste time. Is there a better way? Is the time you get up and what you do before breakfast set in stone by some merciless and fearful god? No! Start reading before you leave the house. That may mean getting up earlier but you will be amazed at the benefits.
5. Count the pennies
If you are on a tight budget, it may be time to keep a watchful eye on everything you spend. Leave your credit card at home and decide to pay for everything with cash. Try this for a few months and you will soon realize what you really need and what you can do without. You will be surprised at the savings you can make. These can go towards your next holiday.
6. Try not to be so shy
If you are like me, you will keep new social encounters to a minimum. It is the usual fear of venturing into new social territory. The next time, stay a little longer and you will discover that as you practice this regularly, the discomfort and unease will gradually disappear.
7. Set a new goal
If you want to get fit again, the enormity of the task will convince you it is just not worth it. Wrong again! Putting things off means they never get started, let alone completed. The secret is to write down some baby steps which will get you to that goal. Step one might be walking to the supermarket instead of taking the car. When you achieve that, move on to the next step. Celebrate each minor victory.
8. Find a partner
No, not the usual soulmate till death us do part! This one is a bit more banal and you do not have to spend the rest of your life with them so it is a much more attractive proposition. Find a buddy to accompany you on those walks or visits to the gym. Find a friend to take along to a party when the socializing gets you down. If you do this, you have someone to share your goals with and also you have to be accountable. You will have to justify or explain why you did not achieve your goals. Your friend’s advice and support will help you to try again.
9. Do something scary
“Do one thing every day that scares you.”- Eleanor Roosevelt
Fear is locking you up and preventing you from discovering new opportunities and friendships. Make a list of your fears and then try to do at least one a week so that you are experiencing a little discomfort and anxiety. This can be anything from forcing yourself to speak up at a meeting (I hated that!) or offering to help someone with their errands. You will be glad you did and one of the rewards is greater confidence in yourself.
10. Time to get real
“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”- Tim Ferris
Did you know that the more tough conversations you have, the more successful you are likely to be? I mean having frank conversations with a partner, friend or boss. This is the toughest one of all because we often build a wall of convenience around all our relationships. Deep down, there may be something that is making us unhappy or holding us back. Time to get real and talk this through with the person involved. This requires courage and when you do this, you are really moving out of your comfort zone.
“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”- John Augustus Shedd
You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.
Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:
1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically
According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.
“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:
If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:
Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.
Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.
To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.
Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.
Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.
Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.
Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.
Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:
2. Focus on your goal
One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.
Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’
Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.
Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.
3. Convert negativity to positivity
There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?
‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’
It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.
Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”
Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.
Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:
4. Understand your content
Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.
However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.
“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor
Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.
One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.
5. Practice makes perfect
Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.
In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.
Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
6. Be authentic
There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.
Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.
Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.
To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.
With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.
Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:
7. Post speech evaluation
Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.
Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation
We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.
You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.
Improve your next speech
As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:
How did I do?
Are there any areas for improvement?
Did I sound or look stressed?
Did I stumble on my words? Why?
Was I saying “um” too often?
How was the flow of the speech?
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.
If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too: