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7 Powerful Exercises for Couples to Build Mutual Trust

7 Powerful Exercises for Couples to Build Mutual Trust

Trust is a fundamental part of every healthy and happy relationship. In relationships, the best way to convey trust is with communication—it is the best way to let your partner know how you are feeling. However, trust is a process that takes time. Once you have earned someone’s trust, you can then maintain it with communication and honesty.

If you are looking to improve trust in your relationship, try a couple of these exercises with your partner to strengthen your bond.

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1. Tell your partner a scary secret.

No doubt you and your partner have shared amazing moments and memories where you have shared a part of yourself with them and they were happy you did. It is very likely that there are still things that you have chosen not to share with your partner, and a great way to build trust in your relationship is to share one of your scary secrets. Your honestly and vulnerability will strengthen the bond and the trust in your relationship.

2. Make eye contact with your partner for 3 minutes.

This may seem like a silly or intimidating trust exercise, but the openness of the activity will emotionally connect you and your partner. Set a timer for 3 minutes, sit on the couch and get comfortable, and then gaze into each other’s eyes. You may laugh a little, but that will only make the activity more fun!

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3. Make your actions match your words.

The most important part of trust is consistency. The best way to create a trusting bond between you and your partner is to be reliable and honest. Remember that trust cannot be built in a day—this is a trust exercise that you can commit to for your full relationship. A good way to build this trust is to set a date night every week, and always show up on time. This shows your partner that you are committed, consistent and reliable.

4. Tell each other why you love each other.

Often people in long term relationships can start to take each other for granted. They don’t mean to do it, but it results in their partners feeling rejected, lonely—and less trusting. Counteract this with gratitude by taking it in turns to tell each other why you fell in love with each other – and why you are still in love with each other. You can either set a timer for a few minutes each or you can each list 5 things about the other. Make sure you choose a method that you are both comfortable with.

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5. Ask for forgiveness.

No one is perfect, and often people do little things during relationships that they feel guilty about, like telling white lies. Squash your guilt by opening up to your partner about anything you feel bad about, and then communicate calmly to forgiveness. If you feel nervous, remember that opening up creates trust, and keeping secrets can destroy trust.

6. Ask how you can restore trust.

Once you have asked for forgiveness, you should ask your partner “How can I make up for it?” This shows your partner that you are more than sorry; you also want to show you that you know you made a mistake, but you are invested in improving your relationship. Listen carefully to your partner’s response to make sure you are both on the same page.

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7. Say “I love you.”

After you have had a serious conversation with your partner, it is always beneficial to tell them that you love them and that they are important to you. It shows that the discussion was a positive one, and that nothing has changed. Remember that these conversations can be emotionally draining, so it is very likely your partner is craving affection.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on August 20, 2018

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say

One of the BIGGEST problems you may face when trying to meet new friends is the awkward silence. Encountering this situation is so uncomfortable that it can even force you to avoid meeting new people in the first place, but there is a way to get around it.

In the past, I I struggled with this so much that I thought it could never be solved. I even thought it had to do with my DNA or something… but I proved myself wrong when I learned how to solve it.

Not knowing how to keep a conversation going can harm your social life, but if you know how to keep those words flowing, you can meet, talk to, and get to know pretty much anyone you like—creating great possibilities for friendship, fun and shared activities that you would otherwise have missed out on.

Why you run out of things to say

After studying this in depth, I found patterns of behavior that can keep you from making great conversation with people. One of these common behaviors is the habit of filtering—holding back from saying something until you’ve “checked” with yourself to make sure that what you’re about to say is cool, impressive, smart, and interesting.

What does that do to your conversation ability? It kills it!

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Another problem is not learning to get in the mood for conversation. If you spent a whole day working or studying analytical or logical subjects, and you don’t know how to switch from that, then it can take a lot of time to warm up and start interacting with people socially.

You can overcome this simply by learning a few new skills, such as the ones listed below. Once you do that, you’ll be able to talk to new people, and make friends, much more easily.

How to keep conversations going

Let’s get you started with a couple of basic,  yet solid techniques on how to be a great conversationalist:

Conversation technique #1 No Filtering

    This is the reflex that allows you to say whatever goes on in your mind. No filtering, no checking with yourself  “would I sound cool if I say this?”. None of that.

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    The best way to practice this is to start doing it with people you kind of know—do you dare to try it? It’s fun to realize that you’re allowed to say whatever is on your mind, and no-one is going to judge you for it.

    As long as you don’t say anything that could land you in jail, you’re okay! People don’t care too much about how “awesome” what you’re saying is, because they’re too focused on how THEY are coming across. Get it? If so, let’s move on…

    Conversation technique #2 “Interesting, tell me more!”

      This works 99% of the time. It’s a surefire technique, and it works especially well for beginners. People love to know that you’re interested in what they have to say, so if you show some interest, they’ll hang around and want to talk to you even more.

      All of the “oh! that’s interesting…”, “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that”, “Hmm, cool!”expressions are reactionary bits of conversation that prove to the other person that you’re really listening, and that’s very flattering to them.

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      Conversation technique #3 Stories from everywhere

        Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories their own lives. You don’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone: you can use stories from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, to those you came across via the radio,TV, magazines, etc.

        How can you integrate the stories into your conversation? The key is to first realize that you can use them. You’ve already heard them, and the more interesting or weird they are, the harder they are to forget, so you’re all good.

        Your brain doesn’t lose them. When someone mentions something related to any of them, just tell the story, even if it’s not from your life. It can be any silly story, short or long, interesting, or totally awkward—just use it!

        People love talking to people who can just share stuff openly like that. These techniques should get you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level—to the point where you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people you want in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast—then I recommend that you take a little time to learn more about how conversations work.

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        If you do that, you’ll make conversations far more interesting, with natural ease, avoiding all awkward silences that might prevent you from meeting the right friends that you would love to have around.

        The bottom line

        Now that you know the tricks to keep a conversation going, the next thing you should do it apply one of these tricks the next time you talk with someone.

        Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to use all these tricks at the same time, get used to one of these first. When you can master one of the tricks, you’ll feel more confident to apply the other techniques in your upcoming conversations too!

        [Update: If you’re looking for tips on how to start a conversation try the FORM technique]

        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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