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Pregnancy At Week 31

Pregnancy At Week 31

Week 31 Pregnancy – How Is Your Baby Doing?

At your 31st week of pregnancy, you will be excited to know that your little baby now weighs just under three and a half pounds. Not only this, but they are now between sixteen and eighteen inches long – very close to their birth length. What they need to do now is grow another three to five pounds before they are ready to be born. In the last thirty one weeks, your little darling has grown from the size of a nut to the size of a coconut!

You may have noticed that your baby is resting every now and then. This is just the baby’s way of preparing for their routine once outside the womb. They will sleep for a few hours and then look for food and play. No need to panic if the kicking stops for a few hours – now you know why.

coconut

    You may be surprised to know that as your baby’s organs mature, they are now able to pass urine from their bladder (getting good practice for the outside world!). And if you’re wondering how on earth they are passing the time in there, get this: They are hiccuping, making faces, sucking their thumb, kicking, pedaling, and even waving and smiling as scan footage has shown us recently.

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    The Mothers Body at Week 31 Pregnancy

    Just as there is quite a lot going on with your baby, there is also a lot changing with your own body this week.

    Colostrum

    You may notice colostrum leaking from your breasts. This just means the body is getting ready to nurse and is no big deal, although many of us have been left red-faced the first time it happens. Not to worry – nursing pads are excellent for soaking up colostrum and they are very discreet. Don’t worry if there is no sign of colostrum. This can happen and it’s not a big deal. You will still have plenty of milk when you need it if you decide to breastfeed.

    You may also want to buy a nursing bra at this point. Try to get one a cup size too big as you will need this space when the milk comes in.

    Shortness of Breath

    Your uterus is pushing up well past your navel by now, squishing your other organs as it grows. Feeling shortness of breath is normal under these conditions. Things will go back to normal as soon as your baby is born. Take it easy – don’t be too hard on yourself. Gentle exercise is fine. It’s important to know when to stop exercising for both yourself and your baby.

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    Leaking Urine

    Some pregnant ladies find that when they cough, sneeze, or laugh that they lose urine. This can be very frustrating or embarrassing and is caused by the baby putting pressure on your bladder. The best thing to do is to wear a pad and make sure you completely empty your bladder when you use the toilet. Do this by bending forward as far as you can when you urinate.

    Common Symptoms this Week

    Each week of pregnancy poses new problems for you to solve. Some of them hang around until the end of the pregnancy, while others tail off and are forgotten about. You may find that you have some of these difficulties on week 31 of pregnancy:

    Sleep Problems

    Sleep problems during pregnancy occur for several reasons. Constant bathroom breaks are at the top of the list, while worrying can also cause problems, especially for inexperienced mothers. After you empty your bladder at the toilet, have another go and see if you can empty it again. This is called double voiding and will help ensure that your bladder is completely empty. Worrying is common during pregnancy, so don’t get caught up in a cycle of anxiety. Instead, have a chat with your midwife about what’s bothering you. And remember that most of what we worry about turns out absolutely fine in the end.

    Pregnancy Brain Fog

    Yes, it’s true. You may find it difficult to concentrate from this point on. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up, though. This is something that’s completely out of our control. Instead, we should get clever and put some measures in place to limit damage. Use your phone as a tool to remember pieces of information, or write everything down in a little book you carry around with you. In the workplace, this can be very frustrating and can damage your self esteem. Don’t be hard on yourself – you can only do your best. Your workmates will understand, and hopefully your boss will be compassionate too.

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    Varicose Veins

    These veins are a result of the uterus putting pressure on blood vessels, pregnancy hormones, and increased volumes of blood. It’s best to do small amounts of low key exercise when you can – the more often the better.

    Backache

    Your back arches under the pressure of the growing uterus, leaving many women in terrible pain. Consider some gentle stretching exercises to help with flexibility – yoga would be a good option. Also make sure you have a maternity pillow, which is vital for comfortable sleep.

    Awkwardness

    Even a pregnant ballet dancer will suffer from some degree of clumsiness at this point in the pregnancy. It’s difficult to gauge how much space you take up, so you bump into things and knock stuff over. That’s okay, not to worry. Just be careful when cooking and using the bathtub or shower.

    Tips this Week

    Start by making a list of everything you need to bring to the hospital and gather it all up now. Of course, you shouldn’t expect to be there anytime soon – it’s simply good to be prepared.

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    Don’t bother with a bumper for your crib – they look cute but they could cause your baby to suffocate. The same goes for pillows and cuddly toys. There will be plenty of time for them later.

    Best of luck over the coming weeks, this is a truly wonderful time. Never mind all the little discomforts – they will be worth it in the end.

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    Published on May 24, 2019

    How to Raise a Confident Child with Grit

    How to Raise a Confident Child with Grit

    My husband and I facilitate a couple’s marriage and parenting group. Recently, the group discussed qualities, characteristics, and traits we wanted to see our children develop as they grow up. One term that came up that all parents seemed to upon agree as a highly valued trait was that of grit. The question from our group was:

    “Can grit be taught to our children?”

    The answer is, yes. Parents can help their child develop grit.

    What is grit? Dr. Angela Duckworth is the top researcher on this subject and wrote the book Grit. She defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long term goals”. This new buzz word is popular in the adult realm, but what about our developing children? What if we could help our children develop grit as young children.

    Grit is more crucial to success than IQ. Duckworth, through her research at Harvard, found that having grit was a better predictor for an individual’s success than IQ. This means having the smartest kid in the room doesn’t ensure any level of success in their future. They can be brilliant, but if they aren’t properly intrinsically motivated, they won’t be successful.

    Grit determines long term success. If a child can’t pick themselves up and try again after a failure, then how are they going to be able to do it as adult?

    What a gift it would be to our children to engage them in a manner that helps them recognize their passions, talents, and develop a persevere to purse their goals. Below are some tips on how to raise a confident child with grit.

    1. Encouragement is Key

    When a child wants to learn how to ride a bike, do they keep going after they fall down or do they quit after the first fall?

    If they aren’t encouraged to get up and try again, and instead are coddled and told they can try again some other day, then they are being taught to play it safe.

    Safe and coddled don’t exactly go hand-in-hand with building up grit. The child needs to be encouraged to try again. This can be a parent saying “you can do it, I believe in you” and “I know that even if you fall again you will try again and eventually you will get the hang of it”.

    Encouragement to keep trying so that they can build up perseverance is very helpful in building a child’s confidence. This confidence is what will help them strike out and try again.

    If they feel that they can’t do it or shouldn’t do it, then they won’t. The mind is a powerful thing. If a child believes that they can’t be successful in doing something, then they won’t be successful. Part of building that mentality of believing in themselves comes from encouragement from their parents, care givers, and teachers.

    Cheer Them On

    How many times have you heard a story of success that someone had in life that all began because someone believed in that person?

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    A coach, a mom, a teacher can have a huge impact by believing in the child’s ability to be successful and voicing that encouragement to them. Words are powerful. Use them to build up a child, by telling them that they can do it even if they have try again and again.

    Be their support system by being their cheerleader. Cheerleaders don’t just cheer when the team is winning. They cheer words of encouragement to keep the team going.

    The same goes with children. We need to cheer for their successes, but also cheer for them to keep going and fighting the fight when life gets tough!

    You Can’t Force Them

    Keep in mind that you can’t force a child to keep trying. They have to do it themselves.

    For example, when my daughter was learning to tie her shoes, it was a real struggle. She gave up. I couldn’t make her want to try to do it again. She had to take a break from the struggle for a few months and then try again.

    She was more successful the second time around, because she had matured and her fine motor skills had improved. It would have been ridiculous for me to force her to practice tying her shoes for the three or four months in between, with tears and arguing taking place.

    No, instead we took a break. She tried again later. Forcing her to learn something that she wasn’t ready to learn would have pit us against one another. That would have been a poor parenting move.

    There are boundaries that parents can set though in some cases. For example, if your child begins an activity and wants to quit mid-season because they are terrible at the sport, you have the opportunity to keep them in the sport through the end of the season to show them that quitting is not an option.

    Although they may not win another tennis match the rest of the season or win another swimming race all year long, finishing the commitment is important. It will help with the development of grit by teaching them to persevere through the defeat. It is character building.

    If your child is great at all things all the time, they will not develop grit. They need to try things that challenge them. When they aren’t the best at something, or for that matter, the worst, it creates an opportunity for them feel real struggle. Real struggle builds real character.

    2. Get Them out of Their Comfort Zone

    My daughter wanted to try cheerleading this past fall. She has never done this activity in the past, nor is she particularly coordinated (sorry sweetie). For that matter, she couldn’t even do a cartwheel when cheer season began.

    However, we signed up because she was so excited to become a cheerleader. I signed up to coach because there was a need for more cheer coaches. We were all-in at that point.

    Once the season began, I quickly realized that cheerleading was far outside my daughter’s comfort zone. The idea of cheerleading was great in her mind. The reality of memorizing cheers and learning physical skills that were hard for her made the experience a struggle. She wanted to quit. I said to her “no, you were the one who wanted to do this, so we finish what we started.” I had to say this more than once. I don’t think anyone on the squad knew this was the case, because she kept at it.

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    She kept practicing those cheers every evening. It did not come naturally to her at first, so it was uncomfortable. She always seemed to be half a beat behind the other cheerleaders, which made it very awkward and uncomfortable for her. However, letting her know that quitting mid-season was not an option made her try harder. She wanted to learn the cheers so she wouldn’t stand out on the squad as the girl who didn’t know what she is doing.

    By the end of the season, she became a decent cheerleader. Not the best, but she was no longer half a beat behind the rest. She learned skills that were hard for her to conquer. Now that she felt success in achieving something that was uncomfortable and hard for her. She knows she has it in her to do that in other areas of life.

    That is why it’s ok for us as parents to let our kids feel the struggle and be uncomfortable. If they don’t experience it when they are young, they will as adults, but they won’t be equipped with the perseverance and inner-strength built from years of working hard through smaller struggles as they grew up.

    Allowing our children to struggle helps them build that skill of perseverance, so that they have the grit to achieve hard things in life that they really desire to accomplish.

    3. Allow Them To Fail

    Your child will fail at things in life. Let them. Do not swoop in and rescue your child from their personal failures. If they don’t fail, then they don’t have the opportunity to pick themselves up and try again.

    If I had pulled my daughter from cheerleader once I realized that it was going to be a real struggle, she wouldn’t have experienced failure and struggle. Letting her have this small failure in life taught her lessons that can’t be taught in a classroom. She learned about the power she has within herself to try harder, to practice in order to make change happen, and to push through it even when you feel like giving up because it is embarrassing.

    Failure is embarrassing. Learning to handle embarrassment is taking on a fear. When kids learn to do this at a young age, it is practice for adult life. They will experience failure as an adult. They will be better equipped to handle life’s disappointments and failures if they have learned to handle the fear of embarrassment and failure when they are young.

    Practice builds up the skill. Processing and handling fear, embarrassment, and failure are skills.

    If I had pulled my daughter from cheer and allowed her to quit, I would have taken from her the opportunity to learn how to process and handle the embarrassment and failure she was experiencing at each practice and games. She learned to keep trying and that practicing the skills would lessen the embarrassment and feelings of failure.

    Learning the value of practice and how to preserve through the fear and failure are priceless lessons. We may want to rescue our children because we want them to be successful at the things that they do, but how will they be successful in this competitive world as adults if they are provided with only opportunities in which they succeed?

    Failure is needed to learn to thrive. Success in adulthood does not come easy to children who are protected from failure because they haven’t built up the ability to persevere.

    Perseverance comes when they have learned time and time again how to take the fear of embarrassment and failure head on and practice to get better.

    4. Teach Them to Try Again

    Encourage your child to try again. Don’t let them quit on the first try.

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    Life is hard. If we quit the first time we tried at things, we would never amount to anything in life. We need to teach our children that trying again is simply part of life.

    Help them to give it a go by providing encouragement and support. Offer to practice with them, provide them with tutoring or coaching if necessary — whatever it takes to get them back on the proverbial horse and trying again.

    Break it Down

    Sometimes failure occurs because they are trying something all at one time and they haven’t mastered the smaller components.

    For example, a math student isn’t going to jump into calculus as their first high school math course. No, of course not. They build on their skills. They begin with basic math, then algebra, geometry, trigonometry, and pre-calculus to then they get to the calculus level.

    If they are thrown into the deep end by taking on calculus before the foundation of their math skills are built, they will fail.

    Help your child try again by breaking down what it is they are trying to achieve.

    Going back to my cheer example… my daughter was not the best at learning the cheers when we began. It then dawned on me that we needed to break down each cheer phrase by phrase. Once we learned the phrase and movements that went with it, we could then learn the next one. Once these were learned, we could combine the phrases, practice them together, and then try to move to learn the next phrase in the cheer. It was a tedious process, but it worked.

    Not all skills come easy for kids. Helping them learn the skill of breaking things down into manageable tasks is another way we teach them about grit. They are learning to build skills by persisting, practicing, and building upon previous experience, knowledge, and skills.

    Grit is put into practice in childhood when they learn how to break down large tasks into smaller achievable tasks in order to build toward a greater goal.

    5. Let Them Find Their Passion

    Your child may be a wonderful pianist. However, if they aren’t passionate about the skill, then they likely won’t be happy or fulfilled in becoming a concert pianist.

    It’s great to help your child discover their talents, but also let them discover what they are passionate about in life.

    True success will come because they are passionate about the activity, not because they are the best. The best usually become that way because they are passionate first. Therefore, let your child experience a variety of activities and interests so that they can discover what they love to do.

    6. Praise Their Efforts, Not the Outcome

    Praising their efforts keeps them motivated and trying. If you focus on outcome, then when they fail, they will become defeated and discouraged.

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    Focusing on the fact that they tried hard and pointing out specific ways that they did well in terms of effort will support them in trying again. When you make a habit of focusing on outcome, then failures are avoided at all costs, including taking risks.

    Risks are needed in order to become successful. Therefore, make a habit of praising their efforts, even when the outcome is not what they had hoped and tried for, because eventually, if they keep trying their efforts will result in success.

    7. Be a Model of Grit

    If you are a parent or a caregiver for a child, then you are a model to that child. Children naturally look up to the adults in their life that are closest to them, especially their parents. They will look at your ability to persevere and achieve. Your grit will show.

    Your children are watching. They may not know the term grit, but they will learn about working hard, not giving up, trying again after failure, and all that grit entails from your actions.

    How you handle life is being watched by your children. You can work on your own grit by reading Angela Duckworth’s book Grit .

    Develop a Growth Mindset

    Helping your child develop a growth mindset is also helpful to your child in their development of grit. Dr. Dweck, author of Growth Mindset and researcher at Stanford, developed a theory of fixed versus growth mindset.

    Basically, what it means is that if you have a fixed mindset, you will fear failure and easily give up. Someone with a growth mindset believes that their talents, skills, and abilities can be improved with hard work and learning. Parents and caregivers can help with the development of a growth mindset.

      Some of the ways that a growth mindset can be developed include:

      • Teaching your child how the brain works: neuron connections, right brain versus left brain.
      • Teach them to set goals.
      • Teach them to have a “can do” attitude.
      • Teach them to develop a strategy when they want to achieve something.
      • Teach them that mistakes are an opportunity to learn.
      • Teach them that failure is a normal part of life.
      • Teach them about self talk: Self Talk Determines Your Success

      There are a great deal of activities and materials online for helping your child develop a growth mindset including these resources below (each site contains at least some free content):

      The Bottom Line

      Grit is not just for adults, it is something we can help our children develop. Grit is more critical to success than IQ, so we should be helping our children develop this quality early in life.

      As a parent, being a model of grit, is one of the first ways to help our children become “gritty”.

      Featured photo credit: Gabriela Braga via unsplash.com

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