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8 Things Will Happen When You Start To Believe In Yourself

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8 Things Will Happen When You Start To Believe In Yourself

People who are generally inclined towards regular self-improvement will likely continue to do so. Others may not. The difference has nothing to do with their external situations. Success or failure in almost anything starts from within. Once you start believing in yourself, you create a domino effect of positive outcomes. This is true whether you are trying to lose weight, start a business, or just be happier in life.

Here are eight things that happen when you start to believe in yourself:

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1. You become less judgmental.

Judgment and negative energy are a reflection of the giver, not the receiver. People who spend a lot of time judging others generally spend very little time working on themselves. When you put your energy into your own life and choices, you stop focusing on everyone else. The road to truly believing in yourself is paved by knowing and accepting yourself, flaws and all. Walking that journey also makes you much more compassionate and aware that others may also be traveling down a path that you cannot see.

2. You can actually do more.

The biggest excuse people have for not doing what they need or want to do is, “I don’t have the time.” Yet, every human being on the planet has the same amount of time in a day. Time is a constant, not a variable. It is what it is. Luckily, although time doesn’t change, you can. Lack of confidence manifests as fear and perfectionism. However, you can start building confidence at any given moment. Believing in yourself requires little investment and is very liberating, both mentally and physically. As Henry Ford one said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t… you’re right.”

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3. You inspire others to believe in you.

Authentically confident people are inspiring. When you truly believe in yourself, you hold the power of influence. Others will want to aid your efforts. This is especially important if you are growing a business or embarking on any endeavor that requires support.

4. You handle criticism more objectively.

Nobody likes to get negative feedback. The most successful people are those who can take input from others, weed out the valid points, and make adjustments for the better. Believing in yourself forms a more solid emotional foundation. It allows you to rationally consider both the information and the source. You also won’t get your feelings hurt as easily, as you’ll be able to compartmentalize negative intentions. If there is some truth to what the other person is telling you, you will be confident enough to take it with gratitude and put it in action to your benefit.

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5. You increase your power of persistence. 

Everyone faces tough times. While falling down is universal, the ability to get up and keep going is individual. Believing in yourself doesn’t mean believing you are all-powerful or perfect. It means trusting your ability to figure things out and keep going. If anything, those who are truly confident expects some bumps in the road. They know that those stumbling blocks will either teach them something, make them stronger, or propel them to some unexpected place. Believe in yourself and keep going.

6. You attract miracles.

By default, believing in yourself creates positive energy. As you begin to expect the best, you will start to see things happening that are perfectly aligned with your desires and goals. Energy attracts like energy. It is not blind faith or luck; it’s the way things naturally work. It’s knowing that you are doing what you need to do towards creating your ultimate outcome. My personal mantra is, “As I am moving towards my goals, they are also coming towards me.”

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7. You become more disciplined.

A deep internal belief in oneself invariably leads to better habits in life. You don’t want to let yourself down! Accepting and believing in yourself is extremely empowering; with great power, comes great responsibility. You can no longer blame others or wait for external forces to make things happen for you. People who have a deep inner belief in themselves also tend to develop great external strategies.

8. Your potential for success becomes exponential.

Tapping into pure self-confidence is like finding an ocean. When you first start testing the waters, it may feel uncomfortable. As you find initial success, your initial hesitance fades and excitement starts to take over. Eventually, you are the ship with unlimited potential, eager to see what’s next. Everyone’s journey may be a little different, but once you get there, the possibilities are endless. Increased confidence brings increased capacity.

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Featured photo credit: Stokpic via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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