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How To Discipline Your Kids Using Words

How To Discipline Your Kids Using Words

When our babies become toddlers they realize that they are a separate person from us, their parents.  They develop their own will and sense of self. This is a good thing, however, the challenge lies in finding the balance between allowing our kids to be their own person and falling in line with what is expected of them.

We need to exercise discipline for the sake of everyone, so that home life runs smoothly and so that our kids grow up with respect for themselves, for others and for their environment. Using physical force or even forcing your will on a child is just not that way to go. It doesn’t work – in fact it does more harm than good.

Here are some ways to discipline your kids using your words and clever body language.

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1. Settle Your Child

If your child is upset and you’re trying to give them a set of instructions they simply won’t be able to listen to you. Don’t jump in to give orders when your child is upset. Wait with them until the crying has calmed down and then try to address the topic.

2. Start by Saying “I WANT”

Rather than just giving an order like “Stand up” try, ” I want you to stand up.” Instead of “Leave your sister’s hair alone” try, ” I want you to leave your sister’s hair alone.” This works well for children who don’t like to be ordered around. You are asking for their co-operation by appealing to their emotions and they are more likely to agree.

3. Walk Before You Talk

Instead of yelling from across the room or worse still from one room to another (we all do it), walk to wherever your child is and deliver your request face to face. Remember you are the one that has got to model good behavior. If they see you yelling all the time they’ll do the same thing in years to come with their own kids.

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4. Connect Before You Talk

There’s no point in asking your kids to do anything for you if you have your back to them, or you’re in another room. Make your way to where they are and face them, getting down to their level. Make sure they give you full eye contact while you speak to them. If the T.V is switched on in the background put it on pause until the conversation is over. Kids have a short attention span and they get engrossed in what they are doing. It’s very important to make sure they are full participants in the conversation by eliminating all distractions and making sure you are both face to face.

5. Use the Right Language

It can be really helpful to address a problem with a “when” and “then” solution. So for example, if you want your child to go upstairs and tidy their room but they want to go to their friends house – rather than simply laying down the law “Tidy your room now” you could try ” When you have finished tidying your room, of course you can go to your friends house.” Saying “when you tidy….” is preferable to saying “If you tidy…” as the former implies that you expect the job to be done. You are asserting your authority in a nice way that reduces the likely hood of a battle.

6. Give Attractive Choices

If your child wants something you’re not in a position to give – give them another option “You can’t go to the park today but we can go ice skating.” Although it’s not what they want to hear this is better than a flat out “No.”

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7. Keep it Short

There’s really no need to ramble on when you are disciplining you kids. Keep it short and to the point for very small kids. Watch how they play with each other – they only string a few words together at a time – try to do the same. When you see your kids eyes glaze over as you continue to talk  -you have lost them – they are no longer listening. Teenagers on the other hand regard too much of this type of conversation as nagging.

8. Message Them

You can leave little notes around for your kids or use messenger or text older kids. I’ve tried this and it works a treat. “I want you to do one hour of study and then we can have some of that pie we got at the store.” My teenager loved it when sent him a request by text  and it worked! Kids love finding notes around the house for them. I also write “Eat Me” on their bananas and draw a little face. Sometimes they just prefer to get a break from our voices.

9. End the Conversation

If something has been decided – little Jonny is not going to the mall on his own – then end the conversation and leave it at that. If you mean business then use a tone of voice that conveys that sentiment. Jonny will understand that he only hears that tone when you mean what you say.

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10. Be Consistent

If you say “No” mean no. If you say “No” and later turn around and say “Yes” you are making your job a whole lot harder. Your kids will not take you seriously until you become consistent with your directions and responses. I know it’s difficult but life is sweet when they know who’s the boss.

When you first try to turn things around, saying “No” consistently – you will have tantrums to deal with. No matter what age the child – Let them tantrum away, so long as they don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and let them exhaust themselves. Don’t give up. Remember you are in charge!

When we are rested and free from stress it is easier to play by these rules. But in reality we get caught up in our daily struggles and everything we learn goes out the window. That said, if we manage to get in the habit of using the right language, tone and approach at the right times we will be making life so much easier for ourselves and for our kids in the longer term.

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

More Tips for Single Moms

Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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