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Why You Should Teach Your Kids How To Learn Instead Of What To Learn

Why You Should Teach Your Kids How To Learn Instead Of What To Learn

The public education system, characterized by rigid guidelines and intense focus on examinations, has had a long history of notoriety and conspicuous shortcomings.

So much so that Mark Twain publicly vowed: “I’ll never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Even Albert Einstein was incredulous about the formal education system and observed that, “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” Einstein went on to say: “It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.”

Children today go through an education system that largely imparts skill-sets based on what jobs were most in demand in the 1980s, not what is most applicable today or what might be applicable in 2030. But, jobs have shifted from manufacturing to the service sector and are now mostly linked to technology.

In the 1980s, industries ruled, personal computers were still fairly young and the Internet as we now know it was only the dream of sci-fi writers like William Gibson. We had no idea what the world had in store for us. Unsurprisingly, we still don’t know what the future holds for us.

Learning to adapt to an unpredictable, changing world

Modern society continues to create new ways of doing things and adopt new technologies for getting things done. Yet, despite our great strides in technology and advancements in science, we’re still not good at predicting the future, and probably won’t be for a long time. So, raising and educating our kids as if we have any idea what the future will hold, or as if the world is not changing, or as if the world has not changed one bit, is not a wise move.

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Instilling a passion for learning, however, is one of the best gifts you can give kids. By teaching children to love learning, you teach them to be flexible, open-minded and adaptable. You help them become problemsolvers and prepare them appropriately for anything by not preparing them for anything specific. Kids become more adept to deal with the challenges of an unpredictable, ever-changing world.

Of course, teaching kids how to learn instead of what to learn is a wild frontier that not many trod, but which can help kids not only survive today, but also thrive in the future. Here are some practical suggestions you can use to teach your kids how to learn instead of what to learn.

1. Turn learning tasks into fun-to-do activities.

When you make activities fun and turn boring tasks into interesting ones, those activities become enjoyable and feel effortless. Children can easily pick them and enjoy doing them. For example, a child who discovers playing soccer is fun may practice her dribbling skills endlessly. Similarly, a child who is fascinated by superheroes may read comic books voraciously.

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Be playful, use humor, let kids explore when learning. This playfulness will arouse curiosity and help the child discover learning can be fun. And when your child discovers learning can be fun, she’ll have intrinsic motivation to learn more even when no one’s watching.

2. Emphasize making an effort more than talents.

Stanford University’s Carol Dweck Ph.D., a pioneering researcher in the field of motivation and author of the immensely enlightening book Mindset, reveals that praising kids for effort, rather than their natural abilities makes them more willing to take on challenges. So praise your child for making an effort to learn and encourage him to employ effective study strategies. For example, when studying for a mathematics test, stress that actively doing math problems works better than passively glancing over notes. Focusing on effort and strategies places your child on a path toward competence.

3. Clarify instructions and guidelines.

If your child tends to jump into tasks without reading and understanding instructions or guidelines, go over the instructions together with her before she begins work. It’s discouraging for children to try hard at something and then hear, “You skipped an important part!” or “You did it all wrong!” Clarifying instructions beforehand can prevent wasted effort and bitter tears. Encourage your child to underline or circle key instructions and also to check off completed parts so that nothing gets missed. It will help her greatly.

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4. Provide a proper rationale for learning.

When your child understands why he needs to do things, it becomes easier for him to do those things. If your child doesn’t understand why he needs to do something, you will often hear complaints, such as “Why do I have to learn this boring stuff that I’m never going to use?” Therefore, give your child a proper rational for learning that makes sense to him. For example, you could tell him he needs to learn stuff because it gives him a chance to practice skills he’ll use throughout his life, such as getting work done efficiently, getting information to stick in his head and working well with others.

5. Hone your child’s problem-solving skills.

Ask your child calmly, and in the most appropriate moments by your own judgment, “What do you think would help you get this done?” This question will jolt your child’s instinct and arouse her problem solving skills. You may have to be persistent to encourage her to move beyond complaints toward making a concrete plan. Once a child’s beyond complaints, you’ll both find the best solutions to the problem as lack of motivation for learning often comes from children themselves.

6. Highlight your child’s progress.

Kids generally want to please their parents so don’t be stingy with your approval. Appreciate effort and highlight progress. When a child sees his own progress, he feels capable and encouraged to keep learning. Break down big tasks into smaller, more manageable action-steps to help him see progress toward a goal. Remind your child how he initially struggled with a problem and then triumphed. This can be a big motivator that etches in the child’s psychic, proving invaluable in the future.

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7. Introduce a role model for your child.

Sometimes all it takes for a child to imagine what she wants to become, or visualize how she wants her life to turn out is having a role model she can look up to. A beloved teacher, parent, relative or even sibling can inspire a child to study hard and enjoy learning. Supportive friends can also lighten the load of learning. Even just sitting next to someone she looks up to while studying can minimize avoidance and boost love for learning. Warmth, encouragement and support are vital to cultivate a habit of learning.

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David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Published on November 30, 2018

Signs of Postnatal Depression And What to Do When It Strikes

Signs of Postnatal Depression And What to Do When It Strikes

Postpartum depression (PPD) strikes about 15% of women around childbirth.[1] Moreover, this mood disorder is estimated to affect 1% to 26% of new fathers.[2] The causes of which are thought to be linked to hormonal changes, genetics, previous mental illness and the obvious change in circumstance.

The stigma of mental health – with or without support from family members and health professionals – often deters women from seeking help for their PPD. In this article, I will show you 10 ways to begin overcoming PPD.

Symptoms of Postnatal Depression

Postnatal depression is defined as depressive disorder, beginning anytime within pregnancy up to the first year of the child’s life. The symptoms of post natal depression are the same as those of depression. In order to receive a diagnosis from the doctor, 5 symptoms must be shown over a two week period. The symptoms and criteria are:

  • Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness, nearly every day, for most of the day or the observation of a depressed mood made by others
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities
  • Weight loss or decreased appetite
  • Changes in sleep patterns
  • Feelings of restlessness
  • Loss of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Loss of concentration or increased indecisiveness
  • Recurrent thoughts of death, with or without plans of suicide
  • Lack of interest or pleasure in usual activities
  • Low libido
  • Fatigue, decreased energy and motivation
  • Poor self-care
  • Social withdrawal
  • Insomnia or excessive sleep
  • Diminished ability to make decisions and think clearly
  • Lack of concentration and poor memory
  • Fear that you can not care for the baby or fear of the baby
  • Worry about harming self, baby, or partner

Should you, a friend or your partner be showing any of these signs, I recommend you to seek medical advice.

Causes of Post Natal Depression

It is worth noting here that there is a difference between what is commonly known as ‘The Baby Blues’ and post natal depression.

Postpartum blues, commonly known as “baby blues,” is a transient postpartum mood disorder characterized by milder depressive symptoms than postpartum depression. This type of depression can occur in up to 80% of all mothers following delivery. The Baby Blues should clear within 14 days, if not it is likely an indicator of something more in depth.

It is not known exactly what causes post natal depression, however there are some correlating factors. These factors have a close correlation and haven’t been shown to cause PPD:

  • Prenatal depression or anxiety
  • A personal or family history of depression
  • Moderate to severe premenstrual symptoms
  • Stressful life events experienced during pregnancy
  • Maternity blues
  • Birth-related psychological trauma
  • Birth-related physical trauma
  • Previous stillbirth or miscarriage
  • Formula-feeding rather than breast-feeding
  • Cigarette smoking
  • Low self-esteem
  • Childcare or life stress
  • Low social support
  • Poor marital relationship or single marital status
  • Low socioeconomic status
  • Infant temperament problems/colic
  • Unplanned/unwanted pregnancy
  • Elevated prolactin levels
  • Oxytocin depletion

One of the strongest predictors of paternal PPD is having a partner who has PPD, with fathers developing PPD 50% of the time when their female partner has PPD. [3]

Ways to Overcome Post Natal Depression

1. Seek Medical Help

As knowledge of PPD grows, more and more physicians are becoming aware of the indicators and risk factors. This means that health care providers are looking for signs as early as their first prenatal care visit.

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If you are at risk, letting your provider know early in your pregnancy means that you’ll be given extra support and care throughout the process. It is best to seek treatment as soon as possible.

If it’s detected late or not at all, the condition may worsen. Experts have also found that children can be affected by a parent’s untreated PPD. Such children may be more prone to sleep disturbances, impaired cognitive development, insecurity, and frequent temper tantrums.

2. Therapy

This is the first line of defence against post natal depression and will commonly be prescribed alongside medication. Around 90% of post natal depression cases in women are treated with a combination of the two treatments.

You don’t need to do anything special to prepare. Your counselor will ask questions about your life, and it’s important you answer honestly. You won’t be judged for what you tell, and whatever you talk about will be just between the two of you. Your counselor will teach you how to look at some things differently, and how to change certain habits to help yourself feel better.

Therapy is personalized for everyone, but women in counselling for postpartum depression often discuss topics including; who you’re feeling, your behaviour, your actions and your life. (If you need immediate support please call the San Diego Access and Crisis Line at (888) 724-7240. The toll-free call is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.)

3. Medication

There have been a few studies of medications for treating PPD, however, the sample sizes were small, thus evidence is generally weak.

Some evidence suggests that mothers with PPD will respond similarly to people with major depressive disorder. There is evidence which suggests that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are effective treatment for PPD.

However, a recent study has found that adding sertraline, an SSRI, to psychotherapy does not appear to confer any additional benefit. Therefore, it is not completely clear which antidepressants are most effective for treatment of PPD.

There are currently no antidepressants that are FDA approved for use during lactation. Most antidepressants are excreted in breast milk. However, there are limited studies showing the effects and safety of these antidepressants on breastfed babies.

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4. Communication with Partner

Don’t blame yourself, your partner, close friends or relatives. Life is tough at this time, and tiredness and irritability can lead to quarrels.

‘Having a go’ at your partner can weaken your relationship when it needs to be at its strongest. It can be a huge relief to talk to someone understanding.

By spending time with your partner doing activities that you both enjoy, like going for a walk, can really help. This change of state, from moving location, can significantly elevate mood whilst providing ‘neutral ground’ in which to open up communication.

Be honest with your partner and show ways in which they can support you best through this time, even if it’s just talking or letting you have time to go take a shower.

5. Self Care and Rest

Don’t try to be ‘superwoman’. Try to do less and make sure that you don’t get over-tired. It’s common that women are the experts at ‘being busy’ and ‘doing it all’.

Rest whilst the baby is sleeping, and really take time to prioritise yourself. Throughout life, if you’re constantly giving out energy, you will be left feeling unbalanced. It’s important to become aware of one’s energy and making sure to give yourself energy first, before giving out is imperative.

Your body has just been through the trauma of the birth, which is very stressful. It therefore needs time to recover so taking time to yourself is important. Things as simple as a cup of tea, or shower or listening to music will really help.

6. Supplementation (especially DHA)

St John’s Wort is a herbal remedy available from chemists. There is evidence that it is effective in mild to moderate depression. It seems to work in much the same way as some antidepressants, but some people find that it has fewer side-effects.

One problem is that St John’s Wort can interfere with the way other medications work. If you are taking other medication, you should discuss it with your doctor. This is very important if you are taking the oral contraceptive pill. St John’s Wort might stop your pill working. This can lead to an unplanned pregnancy.

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It is also worth noting that fish oil (containing DHA) is being shown to correlate with lower instances of PPD. DHA consumption during pregnancy — at levels that are reasonably attained from foods — has the potential to decrease symptoms of postpartum depression,” conclude study researchers led by Michelle Price Judge, PhD, RD, a faculty member at the University of Connecticut School of Nursing.

7. Movement

Before starting any exercise program, you should consult with your doctor and find a fully qualified pre and post natal specialist. That being said, there is plenty of movement that can be done prior to ‘hitting the gym’, such as walking.

Not only does being outside positively benefit you by getting some fresh air and vitamin D. The same is said for your baby, who will likely sleep better once they’ve been outside. Exercise gets your endorphins going, which helps alleviate depression symptoms, It can also get you focused on something for yourself. In an analysis of data from 1996 to 2016, researchers discovered that moms who stayed physically active after birth experienced fewer depressive symptoms.[4] In contrast, one study found women who led a more sedentary lifestyle were, in general, more likely to experience postpartum depression in the first place. [5]

The type of workout doesn’t matter much. Yoga for pregnant women, stretching, and cardio are essentially equal in terms of making you feel better.

8. Socializing and Support Groups

Do go to local groups for new mothers or postnatal support groups. Your health visitor can tell you about groups in your area. You may not feel like going to these groups if your are depressed.

See if someone can go with you. You may find the support of other new mothers helpful. You may find some women who feel the same way as you do.

9. Accept Help

Some cultures believe that the symptoms of postpartum depression or similar illnesses can be avoided through protective rituals in the period after birth. Chinese women participate in a ritual that is known as “doing the month” (confinement) in which they spend the first 30 days after giving birth resting in bed, while the mother or mother-in-law takes care of domestic duties and childcare.

Whilst this may seem extreme, it’s worth noting that being able to accept help from your friends, partner and family can be extremely beneficial.

10. Avoid Smoking, Drink and Drugs

Which may seem common sense, however you may be tempted by the short term ‘fix’.

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Don’t use alcohol or drugs. They may make you feel better for a short time, but it doesn’t last. Alcohol and drugs can make depression worse. They are also bad for your physical health.

Final Thoughts

Most women will get better without any treatment within 3 to 6 months. One in four mothers with PND are still depressed when their child is one-year-old. However, this can mean a lot of suffering.

PND can spoil the experience of new motherhood. It can strain your relationship with your baby and partner. You may not look after your baby, or yourself, as well as you would when you are well.

PND can affect your child’s development and behaviour even after the depression has ended. So the shorter it lasts, the better.

Sometimes there is an obvious reason for PND, but not always. You may feel distressed, or guilty for feeling like this, as you expected to be happy about having a baby. However, PND can happen to anyone and it is not your fault.

It’s never too late to seek help. Even if you have been depressed for a while, you can get better. The help you need depends on how severe your illness is. Mild PND can be helped by increased support from family and friends.

Featured photo credit: Derek Thomson via unsplash.com

Reference

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