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Why You Should Teach Your Kids How To Learn Instead Of What To Learn

Why You Should Teach Your Kids How To Learn Instead Of What To Learn

The public education system, characterized by rigid guidelines and intense focus on examinations, has had a long history of notoriety and conspicuous shortcomings.

So much so that Mark Twain publicly vowed: “I’ll never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Even Albert Einstein was incredulous about the formal education system and observed that, “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” Einstein went on to say: “It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.”

Children today go through an education system that largely imparts skill-sets based on what jobs were most in demand in the 1980s, not what is most applicable today or what might be applicable in 2030. But, jobs have shifted from manufacturing to the service sector and are now mostly linked to technology.

In the 1980s, industries ruled, personal computers were still fairly young and the Internet as we now know it was only the dream of sci-fi writers like William Gibson. We had no idea what the world had in store for us. Unsurprisingly, we still don’t know what the future holds for us.

Learning to adapt to an unpredictable, changing world

Modern society continues to create new ways of doing things and adopt new technologies for getting things done. Yet, despite our great strides in technology and advancements in science, we’re still not good at predicting the future, and probably won’t be for a long time. So, raising and educating our kids as if we have any idea what the future will hold, or as if the world is not changing, or as if the world has not changed one bit, is not a wise move.

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Instilling a passion for learning, however, is one of the best gifts you can give kids. By teaching children to love learning, you teach them to be flexible, open-minded and adaptable. You help them become problemsolvers and prepare them appropriately for anything by not preparing them for anything specific. Kids become more adept to deal with the challenges of an unpredictable, ever-changing world.

Of course, teaching kids how to learn instead of what to learn is a wild frontier that not many trod, but which can help kids not only survive today, but also thrive in the future. Here are some practical suggestions you can use to teach your kids how to learn instead of what to learn.

1. Turn learning tasks into fun-to-do activities.

When you make activities fun and turn boring tasks into interesting ones, those activities become enjoyable and feel effortless. Children can easily pick them and enjoy doing them. For example, a child who discovers playing soccer is fun may practice her dribbling skills endlessly. Similarly, a child who is fascinated by superheroes may read comic books voraciously.

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Be playful, use humor, let kids explore when learning. This playfulness will arouse curiosity and help the child discover learning can be fun. And when your child discovers learning can be fun, she’ll have intrinsic motivation to learn more even when no one’s watching.

2. Emphasize making an effort more than talents.

Stanford University’s Carol Dweck Ph.D., a pioneering researcher in the field of motivation and author of the immensely enlightening book Mindset, reveals that praising kids for effort, rather than their natural abilities makes them more willing to take on challenges. So praise your child for making an effort to learn and encourage him to employ effective study strategies. For example, when studying for a mathematics test, stress that actively doing math problems works better than passively glancing over notes. Focusing on effort and strategies places your child on a path toward competence.

3. Clarify instructions and guidelines.

If your child tends to jump into tasks without reading and understanding instructions or guidelines, go over the instructions together with her before she begins work. It’s discouraging for children to try hard at something and then hear, “You skipped an important part!” or “You did it all wrong!” Clarifying instructions beforehand can prevent wasted effort and bitter tears. Encourage your child to underline or circle key instructions and also to check off completed parts so that nothing gets missed. It will help her greatly.

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4. Provide a proper rationale for learning.

When your child understands why he needs to do things, it becomes easier for him to do those things. If your child doesn’t understand why he needs to do something, you will often hear complaints, such as “Why do I have to learn this boring stuff that I’m never going to use?” Therefore, give your child a proper rational for learning that makes sense to him. For example, you could tell him he needs to learn stuff because it gives him a chance to practice skills he’ll use throughout his life, such as getting work done efficiently, getting information to stick in his head and working well with others.

5. Hone your child’s problem-solving skills.

Ask your child calmly, and in the most appropriate moments by your own judgment, “What do you think would help you get this done?” This question will jolt your child’s instinct and arouse her problem solving skills. You may have to be persistent to encourage her to move beyond complaints toward making a concrete plan. Once a child’s beyond complaints, you’ll both find the best solutions to the problem as lack of motivation for learning often comes from children themselves.

6. Highlight your child’s progress.

Kids generally want to please their parents so don’t be stingy with your approval. Appreciate effort and highlight progress. When a child sees his own progress, he feels capable and encouraged to keep learning. Break down big tasks into smaller, more manageable action-steps to help him see progress toward a goal. Remind your child how he initially struggled with a problem and then triumphed. This can be a big motivator that etches in the child’s psychic, proving invaluable in the future.

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7. Introduce a role model for your child.

Sometimes all it takes for a child to imagine what she wants to become, or visualize how she wants her life to turn out is having a role model she can look up to. A beloved teacher, parent, relative or even sibling can inspire a child to study hard and enjoy learning. Supportive friends can also lighten the load of learning. Even just sitting next to someone she looks up to while studying can minimize avoidance and boost love for learning. Warmth, encouragement and support are vital to cultivate a habit of learning.

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

Reference

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