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8 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positivity

8 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positivity

Ever since Norman Vincent Peale wrote his classic book The Power of Positive Thinking, many people have worked hard to harness the power of positivity. But one of the greatest challenges to maintaining positivity is that we live in a world focused on negativity. The news, social media, the office gossip, and pretty much everywhere else is filled with terrible events and complaining people.

The truth is you can’t have a life of positivity while spending a lot of time with people who drag you down. The good news is that there is a simple solution! Surround yourself with positive people. When I started this habit I had some nearly immediate results…and some that will pay off further down the road. Here are eight amazing things that will happen when you surround yourself with positive people.

1. Your Attitude Will Change

I love spending time with my positive friends! I get energized and excited. My attitude becomes one of confidence and peace. You will enjoy the same results. Time with negative people will affect your attitude negatively, but time with positive people will allow you to move through circumstances with a smile on your face.

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2. You Will Accomplish More

I mentor a group of runners. I do my best to exude positivity whenever we are together. Do you know that those wonderful people will run longer and faster because they are being encouraged? They accomplish more than they thought possible because they are taught to believe they can. So will you! Having people who tell you that you can do more will make it so you actually will do more!

3. You Will Make More Friends

Think about your current group of friends. Out of all of them, which one has the most friends in their life? I’ll bet you’ll discover that your positive friends have way more friends than the negative people. Most of us love spending time with the person who is the life of the party…who is (not coincidentally) highly positive. Want more friends? Hang around positive people!

4. You Will Make More Money

Here is a practical effect of spending time with positive people. It’ll make you more money! As noted above, being with positive people makes you more positive. According to the Wall Street Journal positive people make more money than average, but they make a LOT more than negative people. The difference? 40% That’s right, happy, positive people make around 40% more than negative people. Be positive to make more money.

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5. You Will Be Consistently Happier

I want to note here that happiness is truly an internal attitude. But that internal attitude is very manageable. Most of us go through life letting circumstances dictate our happiness. We live on autopilot, and our autopilot is usually negative. However, frequent exposure to positivity will move your default state toward the side of happiness. If you make a conscious change to keep positive people nearby as much as possible then you will be consistently happier.

6. You Will Become a Magnet for Success

You may have seen this before, but it’s so very true:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

When you spend time with positive people you become more positive. The result is people will want to spend more time with you. This becomes a snowball in your success. When people see how excited and enthusiastic you are about your business or work they will want to be a part of your vision. Your positivity will attract success like a magnet!

7. You Will Become More Generous

Examples from my positive friends inspire me to be more generous. So many of them have given to me that I want to give back. I love helping people with running, writing, speaking, improving their jobs, and becoming entrepreneurs. I love writing articles like this one. I write tens of thousands of words to help others because it’s just so much fun! When you are positive, helping people just becomes part of your nature. You will want to give and share, it won’t be an option, you’ll have a burning need to be generous.

8. You Will Live Longer

This is the big one. Your positive friends will rub off on you and help you live longer. According to Dr. David R. Hamilton, studies have shown that positive people live seven or more years longer than negative people! Positive people have fewer chronic health problems and are better at fighting off diseases. If you remember nothing else from this article remember this: positivity affects how long you live.

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Don’t just dump all of your negative friends, family and co-workers. That may be neither practical nor kind. But do make a conscious effort to limit time with them while increasing time with people who have a positive outlook. How much you help others, your success and even the length of your life are at stake.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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