“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
I hate getting bad news, don’t you? You work so hard day in day out and some jerk comes along and ruins your day with a blast of his inconsiderate tongue. Maybe you’ve been demoted or worse you got your marching orders from a job that you love.
That’s rough for sure. But what’s important here is how you handle this let down. Are you confident enough to handle yourself with grace and come out on top?
Confident people deal with bad news in a very constructive way. Lets take a look at what you can do to confidently handle this sort of bad news.
1. Stand Up For Yourself
Don’t let anyone accuse you of something you didn’t do. Voice your opinion and do it with certainty.
Confident people aren’t afraid to defend themselves if they are accused in the wrong. They will find a way to address each situation in a a diplomatic way ensuring all parties involved are clear about their point of view.Advertising
Confident people never hide away in a corner and let a situation spiral out of their control. That said people who are confident are not afraid to be wrong and don’t mind admitting as much if this is the case.
2. Embrace Every Opportunity
Look for the opportunity, the diamond in the rough. It’s there if you look. If you’ve lost your job, maybe this is an opportunity to set up your own business.
Those who are sure of themselves will see opportunities arise from bad situations. They don’t let these opportunities pass them by. Instead they find small accomplishments within this opportunity and their confidence grows with each small step.
Never deterred, the confident person grabs onto life in a very powerful and impressive way and never looks back.
3. Take Action
Make that call, get researching those agencies. Buy a new diary and start making to-do lists. You are the creator of your own destiny now.
Have you every seen someone struggle to take action? They procrastinate and avoid. They hesitate and fumble. Anything to avoid taking action. This is down to a lack of confidence. The opposite is true of the confident person. They will embrace every opportunity with great gusto. They take control, research, plan, organize and take action.Advertising
They don’t fear the consequence of their actions as they are confident in their ability to do well. More importantly they’re confident in their ability to pick up the pieces should they not do well.
4. Remain Optimistic
Make a list of all the positives that have come out of this situation and write down how grateful you are for them. Do this every day.
In the face of bad news many people go through a period of self-pity. Unlike the average Joe, Mr.Confident will always feel positive about his situation no matter how terrible it may seem to others.
These kind of people will always see the silver lining and the glass will always be half full.
5. Stay Calm and Composed
Make some time for yourself when you can meditate, walk in nature or listen to inspiring music. This is a time for gentle reflection.
The confident person is not only very relaxed about their present problem whatever that may be, but they are also unmoved by the the outcome.Advertising
Under those conditions they are able to remain calm and composed – not worrying about the present or the future. In fact they don’t bother with worrying at all.
6. Treat Feedback Objectively
Thank all the people who have been supportive to you in this difficult time and simply ignore the rest.
The person who is sure of themselves doesn’t get all in a tizzy over someone else’s negative appraisal of them. If someone is justified in making those comments the confident person will admit the error of their ways – apologize even. But they will not entertain unwarranted accusations or comments.
For the confident person, happiness comes from themselves. They don’t need the approval of others to be content and productive. Instead they function just fine by reassuring themselves.
7. Remain Focused on What’s Important
Set one medium term goal and a few short term goals. Tick each one off as you achieve them – your confidence will grow each time.
Confident people have a clear vision of what’s possible and they know that this is within their reach. They don’t allow the opinions of others to taint their progress as they work towards their goal.Advertising
As a rule they keep their eye on each small victory they achieve, celebrating as they go. Each step is a step closer to their goal.
8. Let Go of Bad Feelings
Sit quietly for a few minutes and think of those who have wronged you. Make a resolution to forgive them and then focus on all of the good things that have come out of their actions.
The truly confident know that the only way that they can move forward productively is to let go of all ill feelings towards those who may have wronged them.
This takes strength of character and a willingness to forgive. This is also the healthiest way to handle receiving bad news of any kind. Let it go, so that you can grow.
Developing confidence is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, but confidence is definitely not something that is set in stone.
Our life experiences since childhood and beyond shape and mould our levels of confidence to what they are today.
Volunteering for new experiences will help our confidence to grow no matter what age we are. The more exposure we get the more confident we will become.
Believe in yourself that you can do this and you’ll get off to a flying start.
Published on October 7, 2019
4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them
Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.
In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.
Signs of Toxic People
To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.
Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind
Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.
Inhuman And Merciless in Nature
We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.
Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.
Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature
Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.
Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses
Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.
We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.
Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It
Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.
Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.
Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.
4 Types of Toxic People
To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.
1. Conversational Narcissist
There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.
2. Emotional Vampires
These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.
3. Monsters with Green eyes
As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.
4. Black-Eyed Cats
These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.
If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.
How to Deal with Toxic People
Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.
However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.
Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement
We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.
B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.
Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.
You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.
Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons
Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.
If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.
Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps
Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.
Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.
Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead
Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.
We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.
Don’t Suppress Yourself
Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.
Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.
Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior. If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.
So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.
Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com
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