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22 Signs You’re a Massive Hoarder

22 Signs You’re a Massive Hoarder

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be hopelessly devotedly sentimental about your cuddly toys, your comfort blankets, your dusty old nik-naks. It’s important to remember the things that are significant to us. But when your attic is about to burst through your ceiling and you lose your cat amongst all the clutter in your house, you know things are starting to get out of hand. Check out this list of 22 signs of hoarding behavior and find out if you have a problem…

1. When you open your wardrobe, an avalanche of clothes falls out onto the floor.

2. It takes you several days to find things that you know you own.

3. You often accidentally order things from Amazon that you already have.

4. You have toys and bedroom ornaments that are older than some of your friends and relatives. If they could, they’d be lowering each other out the window on ropes.

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5. In the event of a fire, you wouldn’t rescue just the one thing (a photo album, perhaps) but would throw a whole drawer, or preferably a whole cupboard, out the window.

6. You don’t worry about mice in the attic because they wouldn’t be able to fit between all those boxes.

7. Your roommate/significant other sighs when you buy new things because they are wandering where on earth you will store them.

8. You ‘ooh’ and ‘ahhh’ at advertisements of seats that are hollow with lids for storage because you appreciate this genius practicality (you can store MORE things?!#$@ Winning!)

9. People have started buying you restaurant vouchers and gift experiences instead of presents for your birthday and at Christmas, because they don’t want to be responsible for encouraging you.

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10. Your roommate/partner is left with half a wardrobe and one draw as your endless stuff takes over every other inch of space.

11. When you hear that scary creaking late at night, you don’t fear monsters or intruders like the rest of the world. You’re afraid that the floor is finally about to cave in from all the stuff that weighs it down.

12. You know that the pink marks on this yellowed piece of parchment were in fact butterflies in what is clearly a garden, painted by your former self many many many years ago.

13. You can name all the teddies and Beanie Babies boxed up in the attic and you remember where you got each one, who bought them and how old you were at the time, because you’re as soft as your toys are.

14. Yard sales give you the chills because you can’t understand how anyone could just sell things that they own (oh the humanity!)

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15. You have considered moving to a bigger house just for the sake of your bulging closets.

16. But then again, moving house takes about fifty years and hours of gym prep because you have so so so much junk…

17. People quote you with phrases such as ‘you never know when it will come back into fashion’.

18. At Halloween, for those precious art projects, when clean clothes are running low and laundry is too much effort, people will flock to you for materials, clothing, props, because they know you will most likely have what they need.

19. You always have an empty jewelry box handy to use for birthday gifts.

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20. Your bag of bags is like a living breathing monster – it’s so big it could fit the whole house in it (which solves the problem of moving).

21. You fill your suitcase and borrow a quarter of everyone else’s whenever you go on holiday.

22. No matter how tacky and retro a gift from your dear old Nan becomes, you leave it center stage on the windowsill because you, my friend, are a sentimental, foolish, tragic hoarder with too much love for your rickety items.

Featured photo credit: Snugg Le Pup via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 13, 2018

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.

They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.

Don Juan

    1. Cardio for Stamina

    If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.

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    Triathlon symbol
      • Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
      • Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
      • Swimming – 30 minutes a day
      • Cycling – 30 minutes a day

      The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.

      These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.

      2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core

      The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:

      Barbell squats
        • Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits

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        Zercher squat
          • Zercher squatsthis type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.

          Glute bridge
            • Glute bridgethis exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.

            Hyperextensions
              • Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.

              Ab wheel rollout
                • Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.

                Cross body crunch
                  • Cross body crunchthis exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.

                  Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.

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                  3. Upper-Body Strength Training

                  Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:

                  Plank exercise
                    • Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.

                    Close grip pushups
                      • Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.

                      Chin ups
                        • Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.

                        These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.

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                        4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises

                        You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.

                        5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips

                        Lion stretching

                          If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:

                          Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.

                          With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.

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