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20 Ways Men Can Feel Fulfilled In A Relationship

20 Ways Men Can Feel Fulfilled In A Relationship

Men are some of the most simple beings to understand. They are so low-maintenance that their needs (as few as they may be) are often inadvertently neglected. When a man truly loves someone, he loves them fiercely and deeply. It isn’t often that a woman gets to be intimately familiar with the inner life of a man, but a relationship tends to make that happen. When a woman knows a man deeply, she has the beautiful ability to build him up into even more of a man.

First, to truly understand men and how to make them feel fulfilled in a loving relationship, it is helpful to realize that men don’t just want love—they want to be respected. Men live in a world of power struggles and authority—respect is everything. According to a man, if you aren’t respected, you certainly aren’t loved.

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Men are doers. They derive their worth and value from accomplishing things. This stems from the fact that, at their core, men are conquerors, so they need to constantly have challenges to face, but they also need to feel like they are capable in order to overcome those challenges. That’s where you come in. As a valuable and present partner in the relationship, you have the power to unlock a man’s masculinity and enhance it. It is a big responsibility, but here are some tips to help.

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Men don’t talk about their inner lives very often—both because they’ve been taught not to care about it, and because they often just don’t know what to think about it or even how to verbalize it. So, here is a list of the top things guys wish their partners knew and did for them in their relationship.

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  1. Say, “I respect you because… (you are compassionate, you are logical, you are strong, etc.)”
  2. Tell him how capable he really is—men are only as capable as their partner believes they are. Say it with sincerity.
  3. Compliment him on a job well done (even if it is only mostly well done). We all need recognition sometimes.
  4. Give him some time to himself. We all need our alone time.
  5. Allow him to pursue you. This can be as simple as letting him text or call you first.
  6. Give him the time to figure out the solution for himself—don’t jump in and do it for him (this ruins #2).
  7. Show him some physical affection—men require a physical touch at times, even if it’s just playing with his hair.
  8. Allow him to be risky sometimes (yes, even to buy that motorcycle).
  9. Encourage him to have great adventures (even the risky ones. See #8).
  10. Choose to trust him (and tell him how much you do).
  11. Let him lead—all men are born leaders; some just haven’t been told that yet.
  12. Give him gifts, but make them practical!
  13. Give him grace—he isn’t perfect, and we are all sensitive to mistakes.
  14. Learn his weaknesses (this will help with #13).
  15. Don’t try to fix him—he isn’t broken. Any real change always has to come from within, and your job is to encourage him on his journey.
  16. Give him challenges, both big and small. Men want the chance to exercise their strength, especially for their partner (this will also help with #2, #6, and #10).
  17. Acknowledge that men and women are different, and that’s completely fine.
  18. Be his teammate. This is especially important for the married couples out there—remember that you are a team, you are partners.
  19. Support him—he chose you over his friends, now show him that you will get behind his decisions and that you’ve got his back.
  20. Give him a book that will motivate and inspire him. I suggest Wild At Heart by John Eldridge.
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More by this author

Austen Broome

Social Media/Public Relations Manager and Copywriter for Liquid Creative

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

The Art of Humble Confidence

The Art of Humble Confidence

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

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These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending the two: becoming somewhat humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

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Know When to Shut Up and Learn

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

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Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

Persuade Less, Learn More

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

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Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

Featured photo credit: BBH Singapore via unsplash.com

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