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20 Ways Men Can Feel Fulfilled In A Relationship

20 Ways Men Can Feel Fulfilled In A Relationship

Men are some of the most simple beings to understand. They are so low-maintenance that their needs (as few as they may be) are often inadvertently neglected. When a man truly loves someone, he loves them fiercely and deeply. It isn’t often that a woman gets to be intimately familiar with the inner life of a man, but a relationship tends to make that happen. When a woman knows a man deeply, she has the beautiful ability to build him up into even more of a man.

First, to truly understand men and how to make them feel fulfilled in a loving relationship, it is helpful to realize that men don’t just want love—they want to be respected. Men live in a world of power struggles and authority—respect is everything. According to a man, if you aren’t respected, you certainly aren’t loved.

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Men are doers. They derive their worth and value from accomplishing things. This stems from the fact that, at their core, men are conquerors, so they need to constantly have challenges to face, but they also need to feel like they are capable in order to overcome those challenges. That’s where you come in. As a valuable and present partner in the relationship, you have the power to unlock a man’s masculinity and enhance it. It is a big responsibility, but here are some tips to help.

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Men don’t talk about their inner lives very often—both because they’ve been taught not to care about it, and because they often just don’t know what to think about it or even how to verbalize it. So, here is a list of the top things guys wish their partners knew and did for them in their relationship.

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  1. Say, “I respect you because… (you are compassionate, you are logical, you are strong, etc.)”
  2. Tell him how capable he really is—men are only as capable as their partner believes they are. Say it with sincerity.
  3. Compliment him on a job well done (even if it is only mostly well done). We all need recognition sometimes.
  4. Give him some time to himself. We all need our alone time.
  5. Allow him to pursue you. This can be as simple as letting him text or call you first.
  6. Give him the time to figure out the solution for himself—don’t jump in and do it for him (this ruins #2).
  7. Show him some physical affection—men require a physical touch at times, even if it’s just playing with his hair.
  8. Allow him to be risky sometimes (yes, even to buy that motorcycle).
  9. Encourage him to have great adventures (even the risky ones. See #8).
  10. Choose to trust him (and tell him how much you do).
  11. Let him lead—all men are born leaders; some just haven’t been told that yet.
  12. Give him gifts, but make them practical!
  13. Give him grace—he isn’t perfect, and we are all sensitive to mistakes.
  14. Learn his weaknesses (this will help with #13).
  15. Don’t try to fix him—he isn’t broken. Any real change always has to come from within, and your job is to encourage him on his journey.
  16. Give him challenges, both big and small. Men want the chance to exercise their strength, especially for their partner (this will also help with #2, #6, and #10).
  17. Acknowledge that men and women are different, and that’s completely fine.
  18. Be his teammate. This is especially important for the married couples out there—remember that you are a team, you are partners.
  19. Support him—he chose you over his friends, now show him that you will get behind his decisions and that you’ve got his back.
  20. Give him a book that will motivate and inspire him. I suggest Wild At Heart by John Eldridge.
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More by this author

Austen Broome

Social Media/Public Relations Manager and Copywriter for Liquid Creative

Life After Graduation: How To Make The Most Of It What To Expect During Engagement Read This If You Don’t Want To Miss Your True Love. 20 Ways Men Can Feel Fulfilled In A Relationship 8 Tactics To Make What You Say Sound Smarter And More Eloquent

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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