Advertising
Advertising

5 Things You Should Keep In Mind When You Are Overcoming A Hard Time

5 Things You Should Keep In Mind When You Are Overcoming A Hard Time

Sometimes in life things don’t work out the way you want them to.

Things fall apart, unforeseen events occur and sometimes it just feels like too much to take.

Life is cyclical in nature and it’s important to understand that whilst the bad times may feel never ending, eventually the good times will roll into place. The key is to reach a place of understanding with whatever situation you are facing, knowing that this too shall pass. Far easier said than done, but in maintaining a sense of perspective (and a sense of humor) this can be the very thing that can pull us through one of life’s tough spots.

Advertising

When things fall apart and you can’t seem to figure out a pathway through the situation, it’s important to remember that there is always a choice. You can choose to let it destroy you, define you or you can choose to let it strengthen you. Knowing we have a choice in how we react can provide a sense of empowerment, a knowledge that life struggles can provide a deeper understanding of life. It’s also of vital importance to remember a few powerful, yet easily forgotten, truths that might just help you to break on through to the other side of whatever sticky situation life throws at you.

1. Acceptance

This can be one of the toughest lessons to master when faced with adversity. We spend so much time and energy resisting what is, dancing with denial, that we ignore the very first step in overcoming any situation. Acceptance.

Whatever difficult situation you find yourself wading into, it’s of paramount importance to accept that it is actually happening. This is no easy feat since the power of pretending it isn’t happening is utterly alluring. This is also called sticking your head in the sand- it simply doesn’t achieve anything. Whilst it can feel incredibly tempting at the time, it’s essential to understand that denial simply keeps us stuck. For if we don’t accept what is happening right in front of us, how can we find the means to move on and heal from it?

Advertising

2. Maintain Perspective

When we feel like life’s punching bag it can be incredibly easy to fall victim to the situation. If we are feeling angry, hurt or grieving a loss we want to find something to blame, and demand an answer to the age old question: why is this happening to me? It is much harder to take a step back from the situation and acknowledge that whilst it is indeed happening, it’s not happening to you. As tough as it sounds, taking it personally just leads into a cul-de-sac of blame and resentment and if you want to start healing from a tough time its time to stop circling the cul-de-sac and get back on the open road. This is where a change of perspective is needed, a willingness to see the situation differently.

If you’ve recently lost a job or are going through a difficult break-up, for example, whilst it might feel utterly devastating at the time, know that you will eventually dust yourself off, get through it and actually learn something about yourself. Just as hard times can sweep in and knock you off your feet, so can the good times. A willingness to try and see a situation differently opens yourself up to the possibility of a fresh perspective and a motivation to move on with your life.

3. Learn The Lesson

Life is a training ground and we are actually here to learn, grow and evolve as human beings. Unfortunately most of us tend to learn the most from adverse experiences rather than the positive ones. Some of the toughest situations I’ve personally been through have taught me the most about myself and as a result I feel transformed and even thankful for the experience (though if you told me that at the time I never would have believed you).

Advertising

Whatever the problem is, no matter how big or small, try to identify what lesson it is trying to teach you. It may take some digging but the lesson will be there, patiently waiting for you to uncover it. For example, if your relationship came to an abrupt halt and threw you out unwittingly onto Single Street you might discover that the relationship was acting as a training ground, a place for you to uncover and ultimately heal an unhealthy relationship tendency, so that when the next relationship appears you are ready for it. In being a student of life we learn that all experiences are necessary, that the story of what happened doesn’t really matter in the end, it’s what we learn from it that counts.

4. Stay Positive

When faced with adversity it can be incredibly tempting to throw a pity party for one and close down from friends and family. Whilst isolation may feel like the right response during a tough time, it can be a slippery slope down into the depths of depression or developing a belief that you are being a burden. We all need people in our lives, especially when the going gets tough, and our loved ones can act as a veritable life raft, pulling us out from the depths and lifting our spirits. In times of strife it’s also of paramount importance to surround yourself with friends or family who are positive minded, those who will be there to listen to you but also to reassure you that you can get through it. Whilst it can be comforting to have your loved ones give you the space initially to rant about how terribly unfair the whole thing is, it’s also important that they help you focus on finding a solution or simply a focus on the future rather than the past. Spending these difficult times with positive-minded people can remind us that we all need someone to lean on, or at least someone to have a laugh with, as we work our way through the mire.

5. Don’t Give Up

At times like these it’s of paramount importance to understand that nothing lasts forever. Some of the curveballs that life throws at us might seem insurmountable but there is always a way through and we are never given more that we can handle. At the time we might not think we have the requisite tools to navigate a tricky situation, yet the fact that we invariably come through the other side can actually be a source of empowerment. Being pushed beyond the boundaries of what we believe we can handle is never fun, yet in viewing whatever situation life throws at us as a potential life lesson, ultimately we can learn from it.

Advertising

As a result we become stronger so that the next time life deals us a difficult hand we don’t get thrown off course as easily and we don’t give up as easily. Making a commitment to stay strong in the face of adversity can foster us with a sense of resolve. We might not like what we are having to deal with but we can eventually get to a place where we emerge stronger, wiser and hopefully with a few life lessons tucked in our back pocket.

Featured photo credit: PhotoPin via photopin.com

More by this author

I Didn’t Know I Secretly Enjoyed My Unhappiness, I Thought I Was Just Unhappy 5 Things You Should Keep In Mind When You Are Overcoming A Hard Time 5 Steps To Let Your Negative Emotions Out 13 Things to Remember if You Love A Sensitive Person These 10 Things Will Happen When You Start Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Trending in Communication

1 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life 2 How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today 3 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 4 How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often 5 How to Fight Your Irrational Fears And Stay Strong

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

Advertising

Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

Advertising

To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

Advertising

By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

Advertising

7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next