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6 Things Will Happen When You Start Bouncing Back From A Heartbreak

6 Things Will Happen When You Start Bouncing Back From A Heartbreak

When you end a long term relationship the fallout can be devastating. You are forced to change every aspect of your life. From something as simple as changing the place you get your coffee to heavier things like moving out of a neighborhood you like, losing friends you have had for a long time and basically starting over as a single person. When you are used to acting as a unit with someone and overnight you become single, it is tough to bounce back.

With time you heal and as you start bouncing from the heartbreak, these amazing things will happen to you:

1. You become happier than you have been in a long time .

Sometimes when you get caught up in a relationship you don’t realize when it stops making you happy. You don’t over analyze things because deep down you know that the relationship is no longer fulfilling. Eventually when it cannot be ignored any more and you have to split ways the pain can be unbearable.

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However something happens to you when you are not in the relationship anymore. When you start bouncing back from the heartbreak you start to see things as they are. You stop making excuses. When you have gone through the angry phase you wake up one day and you realize you have moved on and you are happier than you have been in a long time. Why? Because you are finally free of something you did not even know was making you unhappy.

2. You have hope that there is something better in your future.

When you leave the past behind and you heal from the heartbreak you realize something has changed about you. You have hope. You are hopeful that the future that seemed so bleak has so much potential now. You have learnt your lessons and you are wiser now. You know you will make better choices for your future which gives you hope that something better is coming.

A person who is hopeful is easy to spot. They are excited about life and there is a confidence about them you can’t explain. When you start bouncing back from a heartbreak you can’t help but be hopeful that good things are coming your way. It cannot get worse, it can only get better.

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3. You get stronger.

Heartbreak forces a person to go into survivor mode. You dig deep to appear normal. Just because your personal life feels like it ended doesn’t mean that you don’t get to get up, dress up and show up for your responsibilities every day. You will notice that as you are bouncing back you are tougher than you were before.

Things that would have elevated your stress levels before are easier to handle. Hard times build character and a heartbreak is right up there when it comes to dealing with difficult situations.

4. You become wiser.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! Once you start bouncing back you are smarter with your feelings. You are more picky with the time you invest in people. You can now spot the signs faster and with more ease. After a few conversations with someone you can differentiate between someone who is wasting your time and someone who might be worth more exploration.

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As you bounce back from a heartbreak you realize that you don’t fall for the same lies as you did before. Experience is the best teacher when it comes to matters of the heart and you have been there and you are not willing to go back knowingly. You are more careful with the people you trust.

5. You become more independent.

When you bounce back from heartbreak not only does it make you stronger it makes you realize you don’t need people. This is not necessarily a bad thing. A broken relationship can often force mutual friends to pick sides which causes even more heartbreak. People you expected to be there for you are no longer dependable.

This is one of the hardest things a person can go through. It forces you to rely on yourself. But you also become more open to the possibility of forming new relationships, which can be tough. However before all of this happens you first go through the process of developing the strength to stand on your own two feet.

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6. You choose your circle more cautiously.

The people you surround yourself with become so important as you bounce back from a heartbreak. You not only become closer to the people who give you the most support but you also choose your support system more cautiously. Your circle will become smaller as you deal with a heartbreak because you can now easily spot the people who were there for you when things got tough.

As you start bouncing back you will find yourself reaching out to specific people because they are trustworthy and you know they will be there when you need them the most.

Featured photo credit: Kelly by JohnONolan via imcreator.com

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

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Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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