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10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

The decisions we make are often bigger than just ourselves. We have the capacity to influence a friend, a community, and even the world when we start to share our personal experiences with others. Most people don’t even realize the extraordinary impact they make in the lives of those who bear witness to their experience. It’s a remarkable thing. Here are 10 amazing things that happen when you start inspiring others with your own experience.

1. You’ll heal the broken parts of yourself

Everybody is broken in some way or another, but most people want to hid their brokenness. Iyanla Vanzant said, “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, you heal yourself and you heal others as well.” Keeping your pain, disappointments, and struggles inside doesn’t help you grow. It doesn’t help you heal. Your healing begins when you let out what’s been bottled up inside you. When you share you’re experience with others you’ll start to heal past hurts and disappointments.

2. You’ll find a new purpose

Sharing your experience does not just benefit you. As the quote above says you also heal others. When this happens, your actions take on a whole new meaning. It’s no longer just about accomplishing whatever goal or purpose you set out to achieve. Now, it’s about helping everyone else grow through your story. You will inspire others to write and share their own story.

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3. You’ll strengthen your courage muscle

Let’s face it, sharing our lives and vulnerabilities with others is scary. You open yourself up to judgement, ridicule, and negativity. Most people can’t muster the courage to endure the possibility of criticism. When you do you are increasing your courage. Even if every bad thing you thought of happens you realize it’s not that bad. You were courageous and you survived. How freeing. Now you’ll have the muscle to conquer even bigger fears.

4. You’ll hold yourself accountable

When people are watching you and feeling inspired by you, you can’t just slack off. You’ll have to go the distance. This whole thing is better than just you now. Even more so, you don’t want to look like a quitter in front of the very people who look up to you. You’ll learn to hold yourself accountable, because people are counting on you. You’ll learn to give it all you’ve got.

5. You’ll increase your bounce back ability

Everyone hits a snag in the road, but when you’ve inspired others with your story you’ll increase your bounce back ability. You now know there’s purpose in your journey. You’ll have a reason to get back up again. Your reason is all the people who believed in new possibilities for the first time all because their exposure to your story.

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6. You’ll increase the quality of your relationships

When you grow you give everyone else around you permission to grow as well. I’ve experienced this myself. When I started to invest in real estate it wasn’t long before coworkers, relatives, and friends were branching out and investing as well. You will single-handedly raise the standard by which people in your life live and thus increase the quality of your relationships.

7. You’ll experience the joy of watching others create their own best life

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “To give is better to receive.” There’s something special about watching people, especially those you love turn their life around. It’s even more amazing to know you played a role in helping them create their best life. When you’re vision for your own life increases, the collective vision of your circle of influence increases as well. And you’ll have a front row seat.

8. You’ll create your own personal cheerleading squad

When you inspire others with your own experience you’ll create a tribe of people cheering you on. They are rooting for you. They want you to succeed so badly, because if you can’t do they’ll lose faith in their own ability. When you win, everybody wins.

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9. You’ll inspire yourself again and again

You can’t inspire others without inspiring yourself. When you inspire people to go after their dreams, overcome setbacks and live their best lives you’ll create a pool of inspiration for you to draw from again and again. The inspired become the inspiring.

10. You’ll go further and accomplish more than you imagined

All these amazing things happen to you when you inspire others with your experience. You’ve healed yourself and found new purpose. You’ve strengthened your courage and learned to hold yourself accountable. You have a strong ability to bounce back from any setback. Your relationships and therefore your networks are of higher quality.  You have supporters cheering your own. You are constantly inspired and full of joy. With all of this there is nothing you cannot do. You can go further than you ever thought. You can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

In Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters, Andy Andrews wrote, “Your actions cannot be hoarded, saved for later, or used selectively. By your hands, millions of lives will be altered.” Perhaps that is the most amazing thing that happens when you inspire others with your experience. You alter millions of lives.

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So, don’t hoard your experiences. Don’t save them for later. Don’t share them selectively. When you start to share your experiences with others you will start a ripple effect which alters millions of lives including your own.

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Last Updated on April 6, 2020

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

1. Be Authentic

To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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2. Listen

Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

3. Become an Expert

Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

4. Lead with Story

From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

5. Lead by Example

It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

6. Catch People Doing Good

A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

7. Be Effusive with Praise

It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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10. Understand Your Lane

If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

Final Thoughts

Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

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Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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