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10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

The decisions we make are often bigger than just ourselves. We have the capacity to influence a friend, a community, and even the world when we start to share our personal experiences with others. Most people don’t even realize the extraordinary impact they make in the lives of those who bear witness to their experience. It’s a remarkable thing. Here are 10 amazing things that happen when you start inspiring others with your own experience.

1. You’ll heal the broken parts of yourself

Everybody is broken in some way or another, but most people want to hid their brokenness. Iyanla Vanzant said, “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, you heal yourself and you heal others as well.” Keeping your pain, disappointments, and struggles inside doesn’t help you grow. It doesn’t help you heal. Your healing begins when you let out what’s been bottled up inside you. When you share you’re experience with others you’ll start to heal past hurts and disappointments.

2. You’ll find a new purpose

Sharing your experience does not just benefit you. As the quote above says you also heal others. When this happens, your actions take on a whole new meaning. It’s no longer just about accomplishing whatever goal or purpose you set out to achieve. Now, it’s about helping everyone else grow through your story. You will inspire others to write and share their own story.

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3. You’ll strengthen your courage muscle

Let’s face it, sharing our lives and vulnerabilities with others is scary. You open yourself up to judgement, ridicule, and negativity. Most people can’t muster the courage to endure the possibility of criticism. When you do you are increasing your courage. Even if every bad thing you thought of happens you realize it’s not that bad. You were courageous and you survived. How freeing. Now you’ll have the muscle to conquer even bigger fears.

4. You’ll hold yourself accountable

When people are watching you and feeling inspired by you, you can’t just slack off. You’ll have to go the distance. This whole thing is better than just you now. Even more so, you don’t want to look like a quitter in front of the very people who look up to you. You’ll learn to hold yourself accountable, because people are counting on you. You’ll learn to give it all you’ve got.

5. You’ll increase your bounce back ability

Everyone hits a snag in the road, but when you’ve inspired others with your story you’ll increase your bounce back ability. You now know there’s purpose in your journey. You’ll have a reason to get back up again. Your reason is all the people who believed in new possibilities for the first time all because their exposure to your story.

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6. You’ll increase the quality of your relationships

When you grow you give everyone else around you permission to grow as well. I’ve experienced this myself. When I started to invest in real estate it wasn’t long before coworkers, relatives, and friends were branching out and investing as well. You will single-handedly raise the standard by which people in your life live and thus increase the quality of your relationships.

7. You’ll experience the joy of watching others create their own best life

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “To give is better to receive.” There’s something special about watching people, especially those you love turn their life around. It’s even more amazing to know you played a role in helping them create their best life. When you’re vision for your own life increases, the collective vision of your circle of influence increases as well. And you’ll have a front row seat.

8. You’ll create your own personal cheerleading squad

When you inspire others with your own experience you’ll create a tribe of people cheering you on. They are rooting for you. They want you to succeed so badly, because if you can’t do they’ll lose faith in their own ability. When you win, everybody wins.

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9. You’ll inspire yourself again and again

You can’t inspire others without inspiring yourself. When you inspire people to go after their dreams, overcome setbacks and live their best lives you’ll create a pool of inspiration for you to draw from again and again. The inspired become the inspiring.

10. You’ll go further and accomplish more than you imagined

All these amazing things happen to you when you inspire others with your experience. You’ve healed yourself and found new purpose. You’ve strengthened your courage and learned to hold yourself accountable. You have a strong ability to bounce back from any setback. Your relationships and therefore your networks are of higher quality.  You have supporters cheering your own. You are constantly inspired and full of joy. With all of this there is nothing you cannot do. You can go further than you ever thought. You can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

In Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters, Andy Andrews wrote, “Your actions cannot be hoarded, saved for later, or used selectively. By your hands, millions of lives will be altered.” Perhaps that is the most amazing thing that happens when you inspire others with your experience. You alter millions of lives.

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So, don’t hoard your experiences. Don’t save them for later. Don’t share them selectively. When you start to share your experiences with others you will start a ripple effect which alters millions of lives including your own.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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