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10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

10 Amazing Things Happen When You Inspire Others With Your Experience

The decisions we make are often bigger than just ourselves. We have the capacity to influence a friend, a community, and even the world when we start to share our personal experiences with others. Most people don’t even realize the extraordinary impact they make in the lives of those who bear witness to their experience. It’s a remarkable thing. Here are 10 amazing things that happen when you start inspiring others with your own experience.

1. You’ll heal the broken parts of yourself

Everybody is broken in some way or another, but most people want to hid their brokenness. Iyanla Vanzant said, “When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, you heal yourself and you heal others as well.” Keeping your pain, disappointments, and struggles inside doesn’t help you grow. It doesn’t help you heal. Your healing begins when you let out what’s been bottled up inside you. When you share you’re experience with others you’ll start to heal past hurts and disappointments.

2. You’ll find a new purpose

Sharing your experience does not just benefit you. As the quote above says you also heal others. When this happens, your actions take on a whole new meaning. It’s no longer just about accomplishing whatever goal or purpose you set out to achieve. Now, it’s about helping everyone else grow through your story. You will inspire others to write and share their own story.

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3. You’ll strengthen your courage muscle

Let’s face it, sharing our lives and vulnerabilities with others is scary. You open yourself up to judgement, ridicule, and negativity. Most people can’t muster the courage to endure the possibility of criticism. When you do you are increasing your courage. Even if every bad thing you thought of happens you realize it’s not that bad. You were courageous and you survived. How freeing. Now you’ll have the muscle to conquer even bigger fears.

4. You’ll hold yourself accountable

When people are watching you and feeling inspired by you, you can’t just slack off. You’ll have to go the distance. This whole thing is better than just you now. Even more so, you don’t want to look like a quitter in front of the very people who look up to you. You’ll learn to hold yourself accountable, because people are counting on you. You’ll learn to give it all you’ve got.

5. You’ll increase your bounce back ability

Everyone hits a snag in the road, but when you’ve inspired others with your story you’ll increase your bounce back ability. You now know there’s purpose in your journey. You’ll have a reason to get back up again. Your reason is all the people who believed in new possibilities for the first time all because their exposure to your story.

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6. You’ll increase the quality of your relationships

When you grow you give everyone else around you permission to grow as well. I’ve experienced this myself. When I started to invest in real estate it wasn’t long before coworkers, relatives, and friends were branching out and investing as well. You will single-handedly raise the standard by which people in your life live and thus increase the quality of your relationships.

7. You’ll experience the joy of watching others create their own best life

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “To give is better to receive.” There’s something special about watching people, especially those you love turn their life around. It’s even more amazing to know you played a role in helping them create their best life. When you’re vision for your own life increases, the collective vision of your circle of influence increases as well. And you’ll have a front row seat.

8. You’ll create your own personal cheerleading squad

When you inspire others with your own experience you’ll create a tribe of people cheering you on. They are rooting for you. They want you to succeed so badly, because if you can’t do they’ll lose faith in their own ability. When you win, everybody wins.

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9. You’ll inspire yourself again and again

You can’t inspire others without inspiring yourself. When you inspire people to go after their dreams, overcome setbacks and live their best lives you’ll create a pool of inspiration for you to draw from again and again. The inspired become the inspiring.

10. You’ll go further and accomplish more than you imagined

All these amazing things happen to you when you inspire others with your experience. You’ve healed yourself and found new purpose. You’ve strengthened your courage and learned to hold yourself accountable. You have a strong ability to bounce back from any setback. Your relationships and therefore your networks are of higher quality.  You have supporters cheering your own. You are constantly inspired and full of joy. With all of this there is nothing you cannot do. You can go further than you ever thought. You can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

In Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters, Andy Andrews wrote, “Your actions cannot be hoarded, saved for later, or used selectively. By your hands, millions of lives will be altered.” Perhaps that is the most amazing thing that happens when you inspire others with your experience. You alter millions of lives.

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So, don’t hoard your experiences. Don’t save them for later. Don’t share them selectively. When you start to share your experiences with others you will start a ripple effect which alters millions of lives including your own.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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