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Psychologists and Scientists Unlock The Qualities Of Love Masters.

Psychologists and Scientists Unlock The Qualities Of Love Masters.

While we are given a lot of information on how to find, keep and get love back, there is simplicity in the overall formula. It seems like a mystery, how we feel love but actually Science has figured out a lot about love. Science has told us that the feeling of love is our fundamental need. Love and the way it makes us feel is what allows us to thrive. It actually comes from our origins as it’s supposed to make us want to reproduce. Here are some of the sure fire ways to make someone fall in love with you that secrets masters of love know.

Here are some Science stats about love:

  • The brain detects how your body is moving to decide if it’s getting signal of love or not. This is why 55% of falling in love consists of body language one way or another.
  • The voice contributes 38% of the decision to be in love. Based on the change in your frequency and tone, it sends a powerful message.
  • A lover’s choice of words dictates how you feel by 7%

1. They Know that Love is Nature’s Beautiful Trap

Psychopharmacology produced an article that created a comparison between behavioural addiction and social attachment. You’re not alone if you become addicted to someone else due to the reward you get for returned admiration and affection.

The triggers your body gives off are ways to instigate the emotion of love. Nature set up a trap and it’s something we can’t even fight against. The next time you feel dumb for falling in love with the wrong person, remember that you never really had a chance.

2. They Understand Why Eye Contact is So Essential

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eye contact love

    Psychotherapist Gary Newman has done studies on the Science of love revealing many ways we can force it rather than let it happen. If you’ve ever heard someone say that your eyes are the windows to your soul, there may be something to this.

    Science shows that people in love will automatically maintain consistent eye contact with each other 75% of the time. Psychologist Arthur Aron created the theory behind thirty-six questions which is the essential recipe for falling in love. The last deed to seal the deal is to stare into someone’s eyes for four minutes.

    3. They Realize the Importance of Being a Good Listener

    good listenr

      If you listen to your partner intently without reacting or making it about you, you will win their heart. Whether you’re newly dating or a few months in, listening makes a person feel good. It’s even better if you ask follow up questions and respond with passion.

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      4. They Know They Should Validate Their Potential Love

      When you validate your partner, they’re going to be your love slave for life (unless you stop of course). One of the main reasons a relationship or marriage fails is due to lack of appreciation. When you validate your partner, you make them better. If you can make someone better with your praise, they rely on you. Make them feel like a winner and they’ll easily fall in love with you.

      5. They Smile A lot

      couple smile

        When you smile at your partner, it naturally makes you look more attractive. They see you as someone who is positive and upbeat. Their minds tell them you’re a winner and the idea that you’re a happy person makes it easier for them to fall in love with you.

        6. They Remember the Art of Touching

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        art of touching

          A Harvard study on human nature proved that touch can lead to love quickly. It is the comfort that comes from your skin on someone else. It increases intimacy which changes chemicals in the brain, telling them that they have strong feelings which could lead to love. Within this reference of course includes the fine art of different kissing techniques as a way to boost all of the chemicals within the body.

          7. They are Passionate about the Other’s Passion

          If you have a partner or potential partner that is really passionate about something, jump on that band wagon. Be their cheerleader and embrace the emotion that they have about their passions. This makes them feel that what they care about is important. They associate the feelings they have for their passion with you because you’re supporting it.

          8. They Are Aware of the Three Stages of Love

          Studies about the Science of love were conducted at Rutgers University which revealed loves stages. These stages are lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage involves chemical reactions that differ from each other.

          Stage 1: Lust

          Lust is said to be the initial stage of getting involved with love. The feel of lust is basically backed up or instigated by the sexual hormones within the body. Lust involves oestrogen and testosterone which sends messages to the boy to get excited. This process turns into attraction as you explore the lust stage.

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          Stage 2: Attraction

          Attraction is said to be that amazing feeling you get, butterflies and all. It is where you begin to feel the love buzz and you become impatient to the point your brain only thinks about that person. The study concluded that your personality will actually change throughout this process. Adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin are the chemicals conjured up during attraction phase.

          Stage 3: Attachment

          If you can get past the lust and attraction phase, you can then begin to really form a bond. The bond will take you to a sustainable path where you can really commit to each other. Essentially, this is where a couple will want to have children and spend their lives together. The body instigates this at a cellular level. There are two hormones that create this. Oxytocin which is also called the cuddle hormone and Vasopressin which is a hormone released after sex. It promotes long lasting relationships, giving two people the ability to function together.

          9. They Know it Has Nothing to do With Looks

          Falling in love is more chemical and subconscious than just being turned on by someone’s curves. The major factors are the messages that flow to the brain. It is much deeper than the physical aspects of someone. Someone can be awful to you or you know they’re trouble before you even talk to them. Often it can be too late because you’ve already been hooked and you don’t even know it.

          10. They Understand and Use the Thirty Six Questions

          Thirty Six questions was originally created by the psychologists that were looking to figure out why people fall in love. They came up with three levels of questions (12 each) that would lead someone to invoke all the feelings of love from someone else. These questions make someone seem relevant, valid, important and cared about. They must open up with the questions which allows them to feel vulnerable, a feeling associated with love. As two people ask these questions, they both become vulnerable together. It has been proven to speed the process of falling in love. In fact, Mandy Len Catron the author of “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This” did some research on the validity of it all. She fell in love with her friend and is still with him today so there’s some proven effectiveness right there.

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          Ahmed Raza

          CEO of Samurais.co

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          Last Updated on October 16, 2019

          5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

          5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

          We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

          They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

          Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

          I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

          Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

          1. Meet More People

          This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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          If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

          And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

          Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

          This is why it’s important to meet more people.

          2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

          A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

          I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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          Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

          3. Express Vulnerability

          Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

          This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

          However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

          Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

          Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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          4. Have Integrity

          Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

          This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

          This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

          Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

          5. Be There for Others

          Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

          Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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          Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

          The Bottom Line

          With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

          And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

          Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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          Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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