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Psychologists and Scientists Unlock The Qualities Of Love Masters.

Psychologists and Scientists Unlock The Qualities Of Love Masters.

While we are given a lot of information on how to find, keep and get love back, there is simplicity in the overall formula. It seems like a mystery, how we feel love but actually Science has figured out a lot about love. Science has told us that the feeling of love is our fundamental need. Love and the way it makes us feel is what allows us to thrive. It actually comes from our origins as it’s supposed to make us want to reproduce. Here are some of the sure fire ways to make someone fall in love with you that secrets masters of love know.

Here are some Science stats about love:

  • The brain detects how your body is moving to decide if it’s getting signal of love or not. This is why 55% of falling in love consists of body language one way or another.
  • The voice contributes 38% of the decision to be in love. Based on the change in your frequency and tone, it sends a powerful message.
  • A lover’s choice of words dictates how you feel by 7%

1. They Know that Love is Nature’s Beautiful Trap

Psychopharmacology produced an article that created a comparison between behavioural addiction and social attachment. You’re not alone if you become addicted to someone else due to the reward you get for returned admiration and affection.

The triggers your body gives off are ways to instigate the emotion of love. Nature set up a trap and it’s something we can’t even fight against. The next time you feel dumb for falling in love with the wrong person, remember that you never really had a chance.

2. They Understand Why Eye Contact is So Essential

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eye contact love

    Psychotherapist Gary Newman has done studies on the Science of love revealing many ways we can force it rather than let it happen. If you’ve ever heard someone say that your eyes are the windows to your soul, there may be something to this.

    Science shows that people in love will automatically maintain consistent eye contact with each other 75% of the time. Psychologist Arthur Aron created the theory behind thirty-six questions which is the essential recipe for falling in love. The last deed to seal the deal is to stare into someone’s eyes for four minutes.

    3. They Realize the Importance of Being a Good Listener

    good listenr

      If you listen to your partner intently without reacting or making it about you, you will win their heart. Whether you’re newly dating or a few months in, listening makes a person feel good. It’s even better if you ask follow up questions and respond with passion.

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      4. They Know They Should Validate Their Potential Love

      When you validate your partner, they’re going to be your love slave for life (unless you stop of course). One of the main reasons a relationship or marriage fails is due to lack of appreciation. When you validate your partner, you make them better. If you can make someone better with your praise, they rely on you. Make them feel like a winner and they’ll easily fall in love with you.

      5. They Smile A lot

      couple smile

        When you smile at your partner, it naturally makes you look more attractive. They see you as someone who is positive and upbeat. Their minds tell them you’re a winner and the idea that you’re a happy person makes it easier for them to fall in love with you.

        6. They Remember the Art of Touching

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        art of touching

          A Harvard study on human nature proved that touch can lead to love quickly. It is the comfort that comes from your skin on someone else. It increases intimacy which changes chemicals in the brain, telling them that they have strong feelings which could lead to love. Within this reference of course includes the fine art of different kissing techniques as a way to boost all of the chemicals within the body.

          7. They are Passionate about the Other’s Passion

          If you have a partner or potential partner that is really passionate about something, jump on that band wagon. Be their cheerleader and embrace the emotion that they have about their passions. This makes them feel that what they care about is important. They associate the feelings they have for their passion with you because you’re supporting it.

          8. They Are Aware of the Three Stages of Love

          Studies about the Science of love were conducted at Rutgers University which revealed loves stages. These stages are lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage involves chemical reactions that differ from each other.

          Stage 1: Lust

          Lust is said to be the initial stage of getting involved with love. The feel of lust is basically backed up or instigated by the sexual hormones within the body. Lust involves oestrogen and testosterone which sends messages to the boy to get excited. This process turns into attraction as you explore the lust stage.

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          Stage 2: Attraction

          Attraction is said to be that amazing feeling you get, butterflies and all. It is where you begin to feel the love buzz and you become impatient to the point your brain only thinks about that person. The study concluded that your personality will actually change throughout this process. Adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin are the chemicals conjured up during attraction phase.

          Stage 3: Attachment

          If you can get past the lust and attraction phase, you can then begin to really form a bond. The bond will take you to a sustainable path where you can really commit to each other. Essentially, this is where a couple will want to have children and spend their lives together. The body instigates this at a cellular level. There are two hormones that create this. Oxytocin which is also called the cuddle hormone and Vasopressin which is a hormone released after sex. It promotes long lasting relationships, giving two people the ability to function together.

          9. They Know it Has Nothing to do With Looks

          Falling in love is more chemical and subconscious than just being turned on by someone’s curves. The major factors are the messages that flow to the brain. It is much deeper than the physical aspects of someone. Someone can be awful to you or you know they’re trouble before you even talk to them. Often it can be too late because you’ve already been hooked and you don’t even know it.

          10. They Understand and Use the Thirty Six Questions

          Thirty Six questions was originally created by the psychologists that were looking to figure out why people fall in love. They came up with three levels of questions (12 each) that would lead someone to invoke all the feelings of love from someone else. These questions make someone seem relevant, valid, important and cared about. They must open up with the questions which allows them to feel vulnerable, a feeling associated with love. As two people ask these questions, they both become vulnerable together. It has been proven to speed the process of falling in love. In fact, Mandy Len Catron the author of “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This” did some research on the validity of it all. She fell in love with her friend and is still with him today so there’s some proven effectiveness right there.

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          Ahmed Raza

          CEO of Samurais.co

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          Last Updated on December 10, 2019

          5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

          5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

          Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

          Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

          But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

          Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

          But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

          Journal writing.

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          Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

          Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

          Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

          1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

          By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

          Consider this:

          Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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          But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

          The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

          2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

          If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

          How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

          Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

          You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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          3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

          As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

          Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

          All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

          4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

          Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

          Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

          The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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          5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

          The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

          It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

          Kickstart Journaling

          How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

          Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

          Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

          Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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