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8 Signs That You’re Flattering But Not Respecting

8 Signs That You’re Flattering But Not Respecting

How do you view flattery? While it can be great to flatter someone, you should understand your motive and desire before you term it as respectful or not. In many cases, flattery can be manipulative and conniving. Better to know the signs that shows that you are flattering and not respecting.

“The ears of our generation have been made so delicate by the senseless multitude of flatterers that, as soon as we perceive anything of ours in not approved of, we cry out that we are being bitterly assailed; and when we can repel the truth by no other pretence, we escape by attributing bitterness, impatience, intemperance, to our adversaries.” – Martin Luther King

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You are not sincere

You are flattering another person but there is no sincerity attached with it. You are actually doing this to butter the other person’s ego. When you are not flattering another person your statements are sincere and you show appreciation for their work, their look or the kind of person they are.

You make the other person feel sad

Flattery rarely makes the other person feel good. With it comes some doubt and wariness. If you are respecting the other person on the other hand you are meant to make the person feel good. Your statements should be one that makes them encouraged, inspired and helps them to continue onward toward their goals.

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You are putting yourself ahead of the other person

Although flattery could seemingly appear positive. Yet it puts a brighter spotlight on you rather than the other person. It is as if you are better off and you really are not considering the other person’s advancement. This doesn’t help the other person’s self-esteem or show admiration to him/her.

You compliment the other person excessively

Yes compliment or praising the other person is great. But this should be done with a mild dose and should be effective in making the other person aware of his/her strengths. However, you do not show respect to the other person when you do praise them excessively.

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You have an agenda

People who can distinguish between praise and flattery know that with flattery comes an agenda. Most times people who flatter another person want something in return. In a way this can be manipulative, as if you really do not care about what the other person is truly about, but rather you are selfishly scheming for something you want from the other person.

You see the other person as an instrument

You flatter and disrespect the other person when you praise them excessively because you see something special about them that could serve as an instrument in helping you achieve your purpose. Respecting someone should make you know that they are not tools in helping you get what you want. Neither are they items for a specific purpose, to be used and dumped after. So if you are buttering someone to get something such as money, power, influence, or sex, then you are simply flattering the person.

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You spice up a negative quality and make it look positive

Flattery can be directed at an angry man and inform him how wonderful he is for knowing what he wants and being strong. You can tell a jealous woman how great she is in protecting her relationship with her lover or her husband. All these doesn’t paint the real picture but rather feeds on someone’s pride and ego by telling them what they want to hear.

You have the other person wondering

Most times, when you flatter someone you tend to have the other person wondering if he/she deserves it or not. But by respecting the other person you show to him/her that your words are true.

It is important to know how to be careful of people who flatter you. When you start becoming a person of influence you will have a lot of flatterers who would present themselves to you. Understand such signs and you will be more meticulous in dealing with them.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Casey Imafidon

Founder of Caseyimafidon.com which provides actionable articles to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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