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Top Fears About Giving Birth (And Why You Shouldn’t Worry Too Much)

Top Fears About Giving Birth (And Why You Shouldn’t Worry Too Much)

When it comes to having fears of giving birth, it is safe to say that you are not alone. Whether this is your first, second, or third time going through pregnancy, each childbirth comes with a different set of experiences and at a different phase in your life. What you do want to do is to find an equal footing and explore levelling strategies, which benefit you and your partner. No matter how much you prepare or have gained significant experience with giving birth, you must plan in a comprehensive fashion.

Going through apprehension and not knowing what to expect is a very natural feeling. It is, after all, a pivotal moment in anyone’s life. One of the best ways to counteract numerous fears associated with giving birth is preparation. From the onset, it is essential to have regular checkups and see a medical physician throughout the entire pregnancy.

One of, if not the most, important aspects to remember is to acknowledge your fears but never allow them to get the best of you. You will not be able to control or anticipate every step of the way of how the birth will turn out.

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Be mindful of the never-ending transitions and changes as a constant in the entire process. You will experience a wide range of emotions and mood swings like a roller coaster ride. You could say that child birth is like running a marathon or climbing a mountain — we all know that reaching the end is the main goal and getting there will largely depend on our willingness to succeed. You can say the experience is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and, without a doubt, a phenomenal sacrifice — no matter how much pain you may or may not experience.

The most common fears about giving birth

Once you have detected and confirmed your pregnancy, be honest about what sort of fears come to mind. Get those concerns out in the open and discuss them with your significant other, your relatives, and the team of doctors.

What are some of the typical fears associated with giving birth? Fears are not uncommon for your brain to produce. According to Babycenter.com, below is a list of the top ten fears:

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  1. Not knowing how to care for the baby
  2. Loss of privacy and modesty
  3. Facing the unknown
  4. Not being able to give birth
  5. Tearing
  6. Being in pain
  7. Not making it to the hospital in time
  8. Having life-endangering complications
  9. The baby not being healthy
  10. Having unwanted interventions

Chances are that these fears are not all that foreign to you. For instance, maybe it’s a byproduct of the imagination to think we may not make it to the hospital or clinic in time to give birth. Child labor is a long process, so don’t get too worked up about being stuck on the side of the road.

Facing the unknown or not knowing how to care for the newborn will certainly lead to mistakes made. Nobody is exempt from error and the only way to learn is through understanding what you did wrong.

A lot of the fears we formulate at times come from not knowing enough and fabricating endless scenarios. Being in pain or tearing are quite possible from one pregnancy to the next. Nevertheless, the body is equipped to handle such a demanding and physical feat.

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A couple of classic worries are that the baby may end up not being healthy or that you may require an unwanted intervention (C-section or episiotomy). With more than 100 years of medical research, you can avoid these problems by instituting proper pregnancy nutrition. This will supply the baby directly from your bloodstream with every single nutrient needed for growth of nerves to muscles and bone to brain development.

Your body will undergo major changes and you must come to terms with it. In other words, having your body exposed to strangers when going into labor or even your water breaking in public are all possible. Each fear is managed by accepting it and learning to understand all the conditions that come with giving birth.

The takeaways

Giving birth will affect not just you but every single person involved. It is a transformational experience that binds and connects human beings time and time again. Since medicine and technology have taken great leaps, you can rest assured that treatments exist in the event of a complication while you are giving birth.

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Giving birth is a very well-documented event, and there are plenty of certified professionals who will be holding your best interests for the sake of you and the baby.

You can also check out the visual graphic “The Bump and the Grind,” which highlights a full-term pregnancy (ranging from 37 to 42 weeks). In addition, there is also a week-by-week detailed list of bodily changes for you and the baby.

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    Multilingual writer and journalist covering all things technology and productivity.

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    Published on December 14, 2018

    14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

    14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

    According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 27% of children under the age of 18 are living with a single parent.[1] That’s over 1/4th of the U.S. population.There is a common misconception that children who grow up in single parent homes are not as successful as children living in two-parent homes.

    One crucial detail that was often left out of studies when comparing single and two-parent homes was the stability of the household. There is a correlation between family structure and family stability, but this study shows that children who grow up in stable single-parent homes do as well as those in married households in terms of academic abilities and behavior.

    But providing stability is easier said than done. With only one adult to act as a parent, some tasks are inherently more challenging. However, there are a few helpful things you can do to make the parenting journey a little easier for yourself and stay sane while doing it.

    1. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

    Before anything else can be done, you must be caring for your own needs adequately. Only when you are feeling well-rested and healthy can you be at your best for your children.

    Many parents tend to put their kids’ needs first and their owns last, but that will result in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. Make time to eat regularly and healthfully, get plenty of rest, and squeeze in exercise whenever you can. Even a short walk around the neighborhood will help your body get much-needed movement and fresh air.

    Your children depend on you, and it’s up to you to make sure that you are well-equipped and ready to take on that responsibility.

    2. Join Forces with Other Single Parents

    At times, it may seem like you’re the only person who knows what it’s like to be a single parent. However, the statistics say that there are many others who know exactly what you’re going through.

    Find single parents locally, through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities, or even an app. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice, through Facebook or sites like Single Mom Nation.

    Although single moms make up the majority of single parents, there are more than 2.6 million single dads in the U.S. A great way to connect is through Meetup. Other single parents will more than happy to arrange babysitting swaps, playdates, and carpools.

    Join forces in order to form mutually beneficial relationships.

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    3. Build a Community

    In addition to finding support with other single parents, also build a community comprised of families of all different types. Rather than focus solely on the single parent aspect of your identity, look for parents and kids who share other things in common.

    Join a playgroup, get plugged in at a church, or get to know the parents of the kids involved in the same extracurricular activities. Having a community of a variety of people and families will bring diversity and excitement into your and your kids’ lives.

    4. Accept Help

    Don’t try to be a superhero and do it all yourself. There are probably people in your life who care about you and your kids and want to help you. Let them know what types of things would be most appreciated, whether it’s bringing meals once a week, helping with rides to school, or giving you time to yourself.

    There is no shame in asking for help and accepting assistance from loved ones. You will not be perceived as weak or incompetent. You are being a good parent by being resourceful and allowing others to give you a much-needed break.

    5. Get Creative with Childcare

    Raising a child on a single income is a challenge, with the high cost of daycares, nannies, and other conventional childcare services. More affordable options are possible if you go a less traditional route.

    If you have space and live in a college town, offer a college student housing in exchange for regular childcare. Or swap kids with other single parents so that your kids have friends to play with while the parents get time to themselves.

    When I was younger, my parents had a group of five family friends, and all of the children would rotate to a different house each day of the week, during the summer months. The kids would have a great time playing with each other, and the parents’ job becomes a lot easier. That’s what you would call a win-win situation.

    6. Plan Ahead for Emergencies

    As a single parent, a backup plan or two is a must in emergency situations. Make a list of people you know you can call in a moment’s notice. There will be times in which you need help, and it’s important to know ahead of time who you can rely on.

    Look into whether or not your area offers emergency babysitting services or a drop-in daycare. Knowing who will be able to care for your child in the event of an emergency can relieve one potential source of anxiety in stressful situations.

    7. Create a Routine

    Routines are crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This is even more important when in a single parent home.

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    If the child travels between homes or has multiple caretakers, life can seem extremely chaotic and unpredictable. Establish a routine and schedule for your child as much as possible. This can include bedtime, before/after school, chores, meal times, and even a weekend routine.

    Having a routine does not mean things cannot change. It is merely a default schedule to fall back on when no additional events or activities are going on. When your children know what to expect, they will be less resistant because they know what to expect, and days will run much more smoothly.

    8. Be Consistent with Rules and Discipline

    If your child has multiple caretakers, such as another parent, grandparent, or babysitter, communicate clearly on how discipline will be handled. Talk to your ex, if you are sharing custody, as well as any other caretakers about the rules and the agreed-upon approach to discipline.

    When a child realizes that certain rules can be bent with certain people, he/she will use it to their advantage, causing additional issues with limits, behavior, and discipline down the road.

    This article may help you to discipline your child better:

    How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

    9. Stay Positive

    Everyone has heard the saying, “Mind over matter.” But there really is so much power behind your mentality. It can change your perspective and make a difficult situation so much better.

    Your kids will be able to detect even the smallest shift in your attitude. When the responsibilities of motherhood are overwhelming, stay focused on the positive things in your life, such as your friends and family. This will produce a much more stable home environment.

    Maintain your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to be silly. Look towards the future and the great things that are still to come for you and your family. Rediscover and redefine your family values.

    10. Move Past the Guilt

    In a single parent home, it is impossible to act as both parents, regardless of how hard you try. Let go of the things that you cannot do as a single parent, and instead, think of the great things you ARE able to provide for your children.

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    Leave behind the notion that life would be easier or better with two parents. This is simply not true. There is a multitude of pros and cons to all family dynamics, and the one you are providing for your kids now is the one that they need.

    Don’t get bogged down by guilt or regret. Take control of your life and be the best parent you can by being present and engaged with them on a daily basis.

    11. Answer Questions Honestly

    Your kids may have questions about why their home situation is different from many of their friends. When asked, don’t sugarcoat the situation or give them an answer that is not accurate.

    Depending on their age, take this opportunity to explain the truth of what happened and how the current circumstances came about. Not all families have two parents, whether that is due to divorce, death, or whatever else life brings.

    Don’t give more detail than necessary or talk badly about the other parent. But strive to be truthful and honest. Your children will benefit more from your candor than a made-up story.

    12. Treat Kids Like Kids

    In the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to rely on your children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But your kids are not equipped to play this role for you.

    There are many details within an adult relationship that children are not able to understand or process, and it will only cause confusion and resentment.

    Do not take out your anger on your kids. Separate your emotional needs from your role as a mother. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, look for adult friends or family members that you can talk to about your issues.

    13. Find Role Models

    Find positive role models of the opposite sex for your child. It’s crucial that your child does not form negative associations with an entire gender of people.

    Find close friends or family members that would be willing to spend one-on-one time with your kids. Encourage them to form meaningful relationships with people that you trust and that they can look up to.

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    Role models can make a huge difference in the path that a child decides to take, so be intentional about the ones that you put in your kids’ lives.

    14. Be Affectionate and Give Praise

    Your children need your affection and praise on a daily basis. Engage with your kids as often as possible by playing with them, going on outings, and encouraging open dialogue.

    Affirm them in the things that they are doing well, no matter how small. Praise their efforts, rather than their achievements. This will inspire them to continue to put forth hard work and not give up when success is not achieved.

    Rather than spending money on gifts, spend time and effort in making lasting memories.

    Final Thoughts

    Being a single parent is a challenging responsibility to take on. Without the help of a partner to fall back on, single parents have a lot more to take on.

    However, studies show that growing up in a single parent home does not have a negative effect on achievement in school. As long as the family is a stable and safe environment, kids are able to excel and do well in life.

    Use these tips in order to be a reliable and capable parent for your kids, while maintaining your own well-being and sanity.

    More Resources About Parenting

    Featured photo credit: Bruno Nascimento via unsplash.com

    Reference

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