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Last Updated on January 17, 2018

Top Fears About Giving Birth (And Why You Shouldn’t Worry Too Much)

Top Fears About Giving Birth (And Why You Shouldn’t Worry Too Much)

When it comes to having fears of giving birth, it is safe to say that you are not alone. Whether this is your first, second, or third time going through pregnancy, each childbirth comes with a different set of experiences and at a different phase in your life. What you do want to do is to find an equal footing and explore levelling strategies, which benefit you and your partner. No matter how much you prepare or have gained significant experience with giving birth, you must plan in a comprehensive fashion.

Going through apprehension and not knowing what to expect is a very natural feeling. It is, after all, a pivotal moment in anyone’s life. One of the best ways to counteract numerous fears associated with giving birth is preparation. From the onset, it is essential to have regular checkups and see a medical physician throughout the entire pregnancy.

One of, if not the most, important aspects to remember is to acknowledge your fears but never allow them to get the best of you. You will not be able to control or anticipate every step of the way of how the birth will turn out.

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Be mindful of the never-ending transitions and changes as a constant in the entire process. You will experience a wide range of emotions and mood swings like a roller coaster ride. You could say that child birth is like running a marathon or climbing a mountain — we all know that reaching the end is the main goal and getting there will largely depend on our willingness to succeed. You can say the experience is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and, without a doubt, a phenomenal sacrifice — no matter how much pain you may or may not experience.

The most common fears about giving birth

Once you have detected and confirmed your pregnancy, be honest about what sort of fears come to mind. Get those concerns out in the open and discuss them with your significant other, your relatives, and the team of doctors.

What are some of the typical fears associated with giving birth? Fears are not uncommon for your brain to produce. According to Babycenter.com, below is a list of the top ten fears:

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  1. Not knowing how to care for the baby
  2. Loss of privacy and modesty
  3. Facing the unknown
  4. Not being able to give birth
  5. Tearing
  6. Being in pain
  7. Not making it to the hospital in time
  8. Having life-endangering complications
  9. The baby not being healthy
  10. Having unwanted interventions

Chances are that these fears are not all that foreign to you. For instance, maybe it’s a byproduct of the imagination to think we may not make it to the hospital or clinic in time to give birth. Child labor is a long process, so don’t get too worked up about being stuck on the side of the road.

Facing the unknown or not knowing how to care for the newborn will certainly lead to mistakes made. Nobody is exempt from error and the only way to learn is through understanding what you did wrong.

A lot of the fears we formulate at times come from not knowing enough and fabricating endless scenarios. Being in pain or tearing are quite possible from one pregnancy to the next. Nevertheless, the body is equipped to handle such a demanding and physical feat.

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A couple of classic worries are that the baby may end up not being healthy or that you may require an unwanted intervention (C-section or episiotomy). With more than 100 years of medical research, you can avoid these problems by instituting proper pregnancy nutrition. This will supply the baby directly from your bloodstream with every single nutrient needed for growth of nerves to muscles and bone to brain development.

Your body will undergo major changes and you must come to terms with it. In other words, having your body exposed to strangers when going into labor or even your water breaking in public are all possible. Each fear is managed by accepting it and learning to understand all the conditions that come with giving birth.

The takeaways

Giving birth will affect not just you but every single person involved. It is a transformational experience that binds and connects human beings time and time again. Since medicine and technology have taken great leaps, you can rest assured that treatments exist in the event of a complication while you are giving birth.

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Giving birth is a very well-documented event, and there are plenty of certified professionals who will be holding your best interests for the sake of you and the baby.

You can also check out the visual graphic “The Bump and the Grind,” which highlights a full-term pregnancy (ranging from 37 to 42 weeks). In addition, there is also a week-by-week detailed list of bodily changes for you and the baby.

By Optimaltargeting.com

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    Anthony Carranza

    Educator, contributing writer and experienced journalist.

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    Published on September 21, 2018

    11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

    11 Smart Pieces of Advice to Help You Thrive as a Single Mother

    Becoming a mother is one of the most difficult challenges a woman can take on in her life. Whether this happens the “natural” way, with the help of science, or through adoption, being in charge of nurturing another human being is a herculean task to take on.

    Typically, when we think about parenthood, we imagine two parents sharing the responsibility and having each other to lean on. However, according to the 2016 U.S. Census Bureau, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are being raised by a single mother.[1] This is a significant portion of the population that often gets overlooked.

    If you are one of these mothers raising your children on your own, you are undoubtedly aware of the additional challenges that motherhood has placed upon you, including the constant struggle to find sufficient time, energy, money, and support.

    For single mothers who find themselves bogged down by their daily responsibilities and struggle to stay afloat, don’t be fooled by the belief that you have to do all. It is possible to thrive and live as a single mother if you take advantage of all available resources and adjust your priorities based on your situation.

    1. Find your community and ask for help

    As the sole caretaker of your kids, going through the successes and struggles of parenthood can feel isolating and lonely. You have probably developed a strong sense of independence because you’ve had to go at it alone.

    Being self-reliant is necessary in many situations that you have to face, but do not fool yourself into thinking that you don’t need support from others. If you have family nearby, strengthen your relationship with them by visiting and talking more often. Find time to catch up with old friends or co-workers, and don’t assume they don’t want to hang out if they are not parents themselves.

    Would you prefer finding mom friends[2] who have more in common with you? Use resources like apps, Facebook groups, and community events to meet local moms in your area.

    After you have established a support group that you can depend on, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is NOT a sign of weakness or incompetency to admit you can’t do it all, and others are probably more willing to lend a hand than you think.

    If you feel uncomfortable burdening others, suggest trading favors such as taking turns babysitting. Because after all, helping is each other is what community is all about.

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    2. Make peace with the past

    Before you can move forward, you must make peace with your past and not let it define you or rule your life. Whether your journey to single motherhood was through divorce, death, or never having a relationship the father, it is crucial that you leave behind the feelings of abandonment or betrayal you may be struggling with.

    You cannot change the past and the hurt you had to endure, but you can use the strength that you gained from overcoming those obstacles to work towards making the best life for yourself and your child. Learn from the past but live in the present and look towards the future.

    3. Make plans and set goals

    The daily repetition of trying to balance work and home life can make you feel like you are on operating on autopilot. However, it is imperative to set goals for yourself and to keep working towards self-improvement.

    In your personal life, you can set a fitness goal (train for a 5k), a reading goal (read 20 books in a year), or a travel goal (take a trip to Europe). At your job, you can set career goals such as gain leadership experience, get a promotion, or earn a degree or certificate.

    Spend time creating a realistic plan to on how you can go about achieving these goals. Not only will working towards these goals make you a more well-rounded and successful person, they will bring more purpose and fulfillment to your life.

    4. Look for role models

    A great way to jump start your plans for the future is to find a role model or mentor who is further along in their life or career experience. This person can be a great resource when you need guidance on what types of goals to set for yourself and how to achieve them.

    It’s also important to have people to turn to for encouragement during difficult seasons of life. Someone who has been through it before can provide the most genuine reassurance that tough times will get better and that staying positive is best approach.

    5. Rethink your priorities

    Single parents have twice as many responsibilities to take care of, so priorities and expectations must be adjusted accordingly.

    Know that you are not superwoman and striving for a perfectly clean home, no dirty laundry, and home-cooked meals for your kids every day is not a reasonable expectation. It’s okay to take shortcuts sometimes, like serving your kids cereal for dinner or waiting until the next day to wash the dishes.

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    Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and let go of the guilt that you feel for being the only parent that your kids can count on. Give yourself a break and don’t sweat the small stuff.

    6. Make time for me time

    Even though it can be difficult to find, making time for yourself is critical to maintaining your sanity and well-being. Without a built-in partner to take over, finding time to be away from the kids must be done intentionally and planned in advance.

    If you are sharing custody, use the time away from your kids not only doing productive things but also making sure you are taking care of yourself. Sleep, exercise, and balanced diet are not things that can get pushed to the bottom of the priority list. Also make time for fun activities, such as hobbies and creative outlets.

    Even though being a mother is the most important job you have, don’t let it be the only thing that defines you. Time for yourself is more difficult to find if you are the sole caretaker of your kids.

    Use the resources that you have to devote time to self-care, and you and your kids will thank you for it in the long run.

    7. Stay organized

    With so many things to juggle, great organizational skills are an absolute must in order to keep everything moving smoothly. Use apps such as Mint for your finances, Mealime for meal planning, and Cozi as a family organizer for everything from appointments and shopping lists to after school activities.

    Maintain constant contact if you are sharing custody so that it is clearly communicated who will be responsible for what when it comes to your kids. Follow consistent routines in the morning and nighttime so that your kids also know what to expect on a daily basis.

    8. Be flexible (Don’t be a control freak)

    Although it is important to be prepared and stay organized, things don’t always go according to plan.

    When kids get sick and have to stay home or babysitters cancel at the last minute, allow for flexibility by having a contingency plan for childcare and with your employer.

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    For example, make a list of people you can call when you need last minute childcare, or talk to your boss in advance about working from home when emergencies come up.

    Most of all, don’t let unexpected changes stress you out and ruin your day.

    9. Learn to say no (Don’t feel guilty)

    Single mothers have limitations in time, energy and resources that families with two parents wouldn’t be able to understand. Because of these circumstances, it’s important you let go of feelings of guilt and stop trying to do everything and be everywhere.

    You don’t have to say yes to every single birthday party your child is invited to. Your kids don’t have to be involved in sports and extracurricular activities every night of the week.

    Limit the things you do to only the ones that are the most enjoyable and meaningful for you and your family. Doing more things does not make you a better mother; simply a more tired one.

    10. Live within your means

    When you have to raise your family on a single income, budgeting and spending within your means becomes more important than ever.

    If you have outstanding debt that is accruing interest, make it a priority to pay those off as soon as possible. Outlining a budget is the best way to visualize how much money is being spent every month on various things and what is left over.

    Find ways to save money on the necessities by looking for sales at the grocery store, buying some things secondhand, planning out meals.

    After the necessary bills are paid, determine how much can be spent on luxury items such as eating out, vacations, and going to the movies.

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    Don’t let finances be a source of anxiety for you and your family. Keep your bank account in good shape while teaching your kids how to spend money responsibly at the same time.

    11. Spend quality time with your kids

    The time you spend with your kids is so precious and much more limited as a single mother. Make the time that you spend with your kids count.

    Rather than sitting in front of the TV, take them on fun and budget-friendly outings to the park, the playground, or a museum. Use meal times as the perfect excuse to ask them about what they are learning in school and the friends they spend time with.

    When your kids ask you to play with them, look at it as a privilege and an opportunity to bond with them, rather than a distraction or waste of time. Be present when you are with them, with no work or multitasking on your mind. Your relationship with your kids will absolutely reap the benefits.

    Final thoughts

    Being a single mother is not an easy job. That’s why it’s important to use all the resources available to you in order to make this job a little bit easier.

    Using technology, an organization system and a supportive community are just a few examples of things you should utilize to your benefit. It’s also important to shift your mindset and be more practical when it comes to things like priorities and finances.

    Most of all, don’t forget about your own self care. Only when you take care of yourself can you best take care of the people you love.

    Single mothers are some of the most hard-working people out there, and you deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life.

    Featured photo credit: Alvaro Reyes via unsplash.com

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