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What To Say To Yourself To Be Happier And More Successful

What To Say To Yourself To Be Happier And More Successful

Do you have negative beliefs about yourself? Statements you tell yourself before you try something new and potentially rewarding?These negative self-talk scripts are convenient excuses to avoid change. They serve as limiting beliefs, naysayers in our heads – mental myths.

Sometimes we don’t even realize the influence they have on our mindset and decisions.

You may be quick to say to yourself, “I’m shy, introverted, and socially awkward. There’s no way I’ll ever speak in front of a crowd.”

But because of this, opportunities can pass you by. And it is up to you to flip this script around to destroy the negative thoughts, turning them into positive self-talk script.

Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who believed in self-responsibility and self-discipline, was an early proponent of positive self-talk:

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

Think about your limiting beliefs and how you can flip them around to become positive self-talk scripts. Smash through your mental myths and use these positive scripts to guide your behavior.

Then, talk in the second-person (“you”) instead of the first-person (“I”). Psychologists in this study found that – counter-intuitively – using the second-person increases your chances of success.

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To inspire you, here are 10 positive self-talk scripts from successful people.

1. “You are enough.”

Before going on stage, actress and singer Demi Lovato tells herself: “I am enough.”

She uses this to silence her limiting beliefs about both her achievements and her body image. For Lovato:

“‘I am enough’ means being comfortable with your body, with what you have achieved — and with what you haven’t. It means accepting who you are without caveats. It means rising to the bar you’ve set for yourself instead of conforming to the outlandish expectations of others. It translates to a confession of self-acceptance, and it’s something we could all stand to say to ourselves more often.”

2. “You make it happen.”

Aarthi Ramamurthy, founder of Lumoid, borrows this self-talk script from a Michael Jordan quote: “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”

It’s simple as that. Tell yourself to go out and take action.

3. “You give of your talents freely, and you are wonderfully blessed financially.”

This script is from the classic book The Power of the Subconcious Mind by Dr.Joseph Murphy.

The idea is to assume that success is inevitable, especially if you constantly help others using your talents. Wealth is a by-product of your effort to provide value in the world.

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4. “You are possible.”

Actress Audrey Hepburn was quoted as saying, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”

Except where it violates the laws of physics, anything is often possible. But most people wait until they’re “ready”.

Instead, tell yourself “You are possible” and take the first step. Then the second. Don’t let perfection paralyze you. Just put one foot in front of the other and you’ll achieve success.

What other negative beliefs can you flip around just by re-arranging letters? How about this: instead of “No Way”, say “Now, ay!”

5. “Stay focused. Stay positive. Keep your chin up and your feet on the ground.”

Amy Sacco, founder and partner of the Bungalow 8 nightclub chain in New York City and London, tells herself this script every day while blasting her favorite songs.

Borrow this idea yourself and take your self-talk to a new level by playing the high-energy tunes you love while verbalizing the script out loud.

6. “Trust yourself and your gut rather than conventional wisdom.”

This script by Linda Boff, an executive director at GE, reminds you to be skeptical of the experts, to test everything, and base your decision on what you think will work for you.

Like Amy, Linda also accompanies her self-talk with music:

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“I love the theatre and often have a song going through my head. One that I frequently turn to in the morning as a motivator is the song ‘Defying Gravity,’ from ‘Wicked.’ It always picks me up and reminds me to trust myself and my gut rather than conventional wisdom.”

7. “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

Steve Jobs delivered this line during a commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005. He said that he was inspired by the final issue of The Whole Earth Catalog magazine:

“It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

And I have always wished that for myself.

And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.”

This script reminds you to keep pushing while being open to new ideas and opportunities.

8. “Failure is your stepping stone to greatness.”

This is a modified version of a quote by the super-successful Oprah Winfrey, who is no stranger to ups and downs in her life.

Obstacles and adversity are your best path to success and greatness, according to The Obstacle Is the Way. Only by trying and failing repeatedly and relentlessly will you develop a growth mindset, rather than a fixed one.

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9. “You are the greatest.”

Muhammad Ali said, “I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.”

Tell yourself you are the best at what you do, and let that inspire you to take action to get there.

10. “What good shall I do this day?”

Benjamin Franklin asked himself this question first thing every morning.

The message is to first think about doing good. If you can solve other people’s problems, they will value you. This is a win-win mentality that accelerates success for you and everyone you interact with.

What do you think of these “flip it around” self-talk scripts? Comment below and click “Share” to inspire your friends!

Featured photo credit: Ashley Campbell via flickr.com

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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