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10 Feelings That Only People With ADHD Understand

10 Feelings That Only People With ADHD Understand

You know the story: ADHD does not really exist and has been created so that Big Pharm can make lots of money! They make stimulants and they sell like hot cakes.

That’s just one example of the many myths and misconceptions about ADHD, so I am not even going to begin to outline the reasons why it’s wrong. Let me say that ADHD really is a condition and that it can affect your life negatively. On the other hand, it is important to remember that people with ADHD also have a lot going for them.

Here are 10 feelings that only they can identify with. Read these and you will begin to understand what it feels like to have ADHD- then spread the word. It might help people to learn more about the disorder.

1. They feel rejected

Sad, but true. It is all to do with the problem of being unable to control their impulses, and keep them under control. That leads to all sorts of problems in social interaction at school and later in adulthood. People do not understand that it is connected to the way the ADHD brain is wired and that it is not due to laziness or being forgetful. People with ADHD can find it almost impossible to pay attention and stay on topic in conversations and meetings. It is no wonder they are sidelined.

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2. They feel discouraged and dejected

They interrupt and make inappropriate remarks. They talk and laugh too loudly. They also tend to talk rather a lot. They hear remarks like, “I just told you that, don’t you remember?” or,  “You only care about yourself.” As you can imagine, people lose patience and the person with ADHD feels dejected. This can lead to low self esteem and depression.

3. They thrive on love and support

If they are in a relationship, they will thrive on affectionate support. That may seem obvious, but there are millions of people who still do not believe that ADHD is a real condition, even in 2015! Parents and partners who know something about ADHD are savvy enough to give real support.

4. They can hyperfocus when their curiosity is aroused

Stephen Tonti describes how he fell off his chair at school trying to watch all the kids playing outside. Watch the video where he explains that once his curiosity is aroused, he is able to stay hyperfocused and all the fidgeting and distracted behavior disappears. He can stay focused for hours. All this happens when he gets excited and really into a topic or area of work. Very often, the problem with ADHD kids and adults when they are in the zone is that you can never get them to stop or finish!

5. They are happier with a well structured routine

Adults and kids with ADHD hate boredom. In addition, they are impulsive and highly distracted. But give them a routine and a well structured timetable and they will start to get things done. They actually have a love/hate relationship with routine. But learning to use visual cues, checklists and timing activities can make an enormous difference.

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 6. They feel frustrated

The main cause of frustration is trying to focus and get a task done. Society demands that we are punctual, precise and tidy. Each one of these things is a nightmare for an ADHDer. They will get there but it is often a very long and painful process. Imagine just trying to focus on what a person is saying, with one fact or name to remember. One sufferer describes this experience as being like trying to access information when there is a loud hum which prevents you from understanding what people are saying:

“Now you’ve lost track of the first person and begin to feel panic. You start looking for the first people in order to recollect their information, but you can’t because you’re still collecting from the others. Now every bit of information that breaks through the hum carries the same weight. There is no way to distinguish what is most important. You try to start over, but you’ve already forgotten much of the first bits you’ve collected. It’s a losing battle and eventually you give up on that task and berate yourself for failing.”- An adult with ADHD.

7. They are consoled by ADHD success stories

A sufferer is always comforted by the fact that many people with ADHD seem to thrive in spite of all the drawbacks and handicaps. They have exploited the creativity and sensory intensity that also comes with ADHD. Often, senses are so sharp that they can be creative in art, music and writing. They are inspired by Ty Pennington, Will Smith, Michael Phelps and thousands more who have thrived with ADHD.

“I can distill complicated facts and come up with simple solutions. I can look out on an industry with all kinds of problems and say, ‘How can I do this better?’ My ADD brain naturally searches for better ways of doing things.” – David Neeleman founder of JetBlue.

8. They are exhausted from so many things going on

Ask any person with ADHD what it is like and they will tell you that their filters are not working at all. Normal people filter out distractions and irrelevant facts when they take a phone call in a crowded place. But the person with ADHD has so many things coming at them that it often feels overwhelming.

They would just love to have an OFF button in their brain so that they could wind down and relax. Unfortunately, this is not possible for them. Stephanie Sarkis is a psychotherapist and she described ADHD as like having non-stop committee meetings in your brain where you have to look at all the options. It’s exhausting.

9. They are happy when multi-tasking

The ADHD brain as we have seen is all over the place and this is great when you have to multi-task. Some ADHDers can really use this to their advantage. Most people are told that multi-tasking can ruin concentration and that it can take a lot of time to get back on track when you switch from one task to the other. The person with ADHD finds it absolutely normal and can really get lots done:

“To do ANYTHING, I have to multitask. In fact, as I’m typing this, I’m drinking coffee and talking on the phone! It’s like if my brain doesn’t have enough stimulation, then I’m comatose.” – An adult with ADHD.

10. They often hide their ADHD

Adam Levine from Maroon 5 has ADHD and he has done a lot of work to help people to come out with ADHD, so that they can get treatment and function better in society. ADHD still has stigma attached to it and coming out at work can be risky if you do not have a sympathetic boss, for example. Adam is working on the Own It campaign with other ADHD charities so that adults especially can reach out and get reassessed, if necessary. ADHD is not just for kids and it continues into adulthood. There are about 10 million adults with ADHD in the USA.

Now that you know what it is like to have ADHD, why not reach out and help someone you may know with the disorder?

Featured photo credit: Can’t study.Studying may be difficult for children with ADHD/ amenclinicsphotos ac via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

13 Bad Habits You Need to Quit Right Away

13 Bad Habits You Need to Quit Right Away

Creating your productivity ritual — a routine that helps you to maintain a peak level of energy can get you the best out of your days.

Part of creating your productivity routine involves removing activities that drain you (what I call “kryptonites”), and that includes your bad habits.

Like it or not, bad habits are bad for you — mentally, physically, emotionally and even socially in some cases. While some bad habits are harder to quit than others, it doesn’t change the fact that you need to get rid of them. Here are 13 bad habits to quit right away:

1. Stress Eating

I used to be a serious stress eater. I would eat whenever I felt unhappy, stressed, disappointed, anxious, or even… happy! My eating had nothing to do with being hungry, and everything to do with using food to fill my emotional voids.

While eating would comfort me, this feeling was momentary and would disappear right after I was done eating. Instead, what I had left would be the same emotional void that triggered me to eat in the first place (be it unhappiness or stress), a 2,000 excess calorie intake over what I should have eaten for the day, and anger at myself for having stress ate.

I’ve since overcome stress eating. I have healthy eating habits and a healthy relationship with food today where I no longer use food as a tool to fill my emotions.

If you are a stress eater, don’t fret — here’s how to manage your stress better:

How to Manage Stress (A Step-by-Step Guide to Turn Stress Into Success)

2. Nail Biting

Not only is nail biting unhygienic, it is also socially repelling, leads to dental problems like malocclusion of the anterior teeth,[1] potentially cause stomach problems,[2] and lead to severely deformed fingernails in the long run.

People who bite their nails tend to have shorter nails than the average person; their nail plates also experience scarring and may eventually become absent.[3]

Understand what triggers your nail biting behavior and replace it with another neutral to positive habit. Make habits to break habits.

For example, if you bite your nails when you are stressed, go for a walk or listen to music instead the next time you feel stressed.

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3. Hanging out with Naysayers

We all know these people — people who play devil’s advocate to every idea you have and every goal you want to pursue. We are already our greatest self-critics, so it doesn’t help when there’s someone beside us, ever ready to pounce on what we say and tear it down.

Hang out less with these naysayers and spend more time with supportive people who share constructive feedback instead. You will be much happier this way.

Learn how to get rid of naysayers with these 10 Ways to Ignore the Naysayers and Achieve Your Dreams.

4. Being with People Who Don’t Appreciate You

Haven’t all of us been in this situation before? Trying to please people who don’t appreciate us? Bending over backwards to be there for people when they are never there for us?

While we give without expectations of return, we need to draw a line with people who don’t value us because these people damage our souls.

Stop spending time with people who don’t appreciate you, and spend more time with people who do instead.

Unsure who you should get rid of? Learn about it here: 5 Kinds of Toxic People That You Need to Get Rid of Now

5. Smoking

Smoking is one of the leading causes of preventable death globally.[4]

In just the United States alone, about 500,000 deaths are attributed to smoking-related diseases annually. A recent study estimated that as much as one-third of China’s male population will have significantly shortened life-spans due to smoking! Gender-wise, male and female smokers lose an average of 13.2 and 14.5 years of life respectively — that’s over a decade of life right there.[5]

Not only that, smoking causes pre-mature skin aging (i.e. wrinkles), yellowing of teeth, bad breath, and worse of all — jeopardy of the health of people around you, including your loved ones. Studies have shown that non-smokers exposed to second-hand smoke are at risk to many of the health problems associated with direct smoking.[6]

Smoking risks

    6. Excessive Drinking

    All of us know that drinking too much alcohol is bad for us, but do you know how bad it really is?

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    According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, drinking too much — be it on a single occasion or over time — can seriously damage your health:[7]

    • Brain problems: Alcohol interferes with the brain’s communication pathways, making it harder to think clearly and move with coordination.
    • Heart diseases: Cardiomyopathy – Stretching and drooping of heart muscle, Arrhythmias – Irregular heart beat, stroke, high blood pressure
    • Liver diseases: Steatosis or fatty liver, alcoholic hepatitis, fibrosis, cirrhosis
    • Pancreas problems: Pancreatitis, a dangerous inflammation and swelling of the blood vessels in the pancreas that prevents proper digestion.
    • Different types of cancer: Mouth, esophagus, throat, liver, breast

    If you drink a lot, perhaps cutting it out right away will be tough. Cut down the number of glasses you drink each time, followed by the number of times you drink a week.

    If need be, seek help from an AA group — you aren’t alone in this. Change starts from today.

    7. Eating Junk Food (Including Diet Soda)

    Junk food — they are everywhere in our society today. From McDonald’s, to KFC, to Burger King, to 24-hour takeouts, junk food such as fries, highly processed burgers and sodas has become a staple in our society today.

    If you think, “Hey, but junk food is tasty!”, think again:

    A study by Paul Johnson and Paul Kenny suggests that junk food consumption alters brain activity in a way similar to addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin.[8]

    “After many weeks with unlimited access to junk food, the pleasure centers of rat brains became desensitized, requiring more food for pleasure.”

    And you wonder why you seem to crave fast food when you just had some the day before?

    While it may not be possible to remove junk food completely from our diet right away, we can reduce our junk food consumption starting today. Instead of soda, opt for a fruit juice (fresh juice, not the carbonated kind) or mineral water. Instead of fries, switch to mashed potato, a salad, or rice (many food outlets allow for this today). Instead of a fried meat patty, go for a grilled one.

    Where possible, opt for healthy food joints like salad bars and delis as opposed to fast food outlets. Every little step goes a long way.

    Here’re some healthy snacks ideas for you: 15 Healthy Snacks You Should Always Have At Home

    8. Eating Too Much Red Meat

    There has been conclusive evidence that consumption of red meat increases the risk of colorectal cancer; and suggestive evidence that it increases the risk of oesophageal cancer, lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, and endometrial cancer.

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    In addition, some studies have linked consumption of large quantities of red meat with breast cancer, stomach cancer, lymphoma, bladder cancer, lung cancer and prostate cancer![9]

    Personally, I’m a vegetarian so I don’t consume red meat, but for those of you who consume red meat, do watch out and limit your intake — better still, cut it out of your diet. World Cancer Research Fund recommends limiting intake of red meat to less than 300g (11 oz) cooked weight per week, “very little, if any of which to be processed.”

    Of if you’re thinking about becoming a vegetarian, check out this guide: 5 Practical Tips For Starting a Vegetarian Lifestyle

    9. Watching Too Much TV

    I stopped watching TV since eight years ago and I have never regretted it. Every once in a while I will switch on the telly to see what is on, and then I will switch it off because it’s just the same boring shtick over and over again.

    Watching TV, particularly well-written dramas, can be a good way to unwind. However, remember that TV isn’t your life.

    Spending three hours every night watching TV will not change your life for the better. Rather, using that time to reflect on your life, take stock, and take action on your goals will.

    It’s not easy to remove TV from your daily routine right away, but follow these 6 Steps To Remove TV From Your Life.

    10. Being Late

    Not only is being late being rude to others, it also means that you’re always rushing from one place to another, playing catch up in your agenda, and having to apologize to every person you meet.

    Stop being late and not being punctual, but practice being early instead. Target to arrive 15 minutes earlier before any appointment and bring along something to do in those 15 minutes (or longer if the other person turns out to be late). Then you can stop playing catch up and stay ahead in life.

    Learn more tips about how to be more punctual here: How to Be On Time Every Time

    11. Being in Bad Relationships

    Are you always dating the wrong guys/girls? Do you end up with jerks all the time? Well, you may not be able to stop yourself from meeting bad partners but you can certainly stop yourself from furthering contact with them, spending time with them, or even… entering into a relationship with them.

    I used to invest myself in this guy who was nothing but toxic for me. After a good five months of experiencing nothing but getting burned over and over again, I realized that he was a total waste of my time and I deserved better. I decided to cut him off, and it was soon after that I met my soulmate.

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    Learn about why you shouldn’t stay in a bad relationship and how to deal with it if you’re in one: Why Trying Hard to Stay in an Unhappy Relationship Is Not Love, but Fear

    12. Leaving Things to the Last Minute

    Burning the midnight oil isn’t fun — it’s exhausting.

    Those of you who got through college by burning the midnight oil would have learned this the hard way. Not only is it damaging for your body, it is also mentally draining as you’re constantly in a hyper-tense mode, feeling anxious about whether you can finish your work on time.

    Start today on a new note. Rather than react to your deadlines, be proactive about them by planning ahead, identifying what needs to be done for the week, and getting things done in advance.

    By staying ahead of your tasks, you can also use your extra time to plan ahead in your life and get more things done.

    Take a look at this guide and learn how to stop procrastinating: Procrastination – A Step-By-Step Guide to Stop Procrastinating

    13. Focusing on the Negatives

    In every situation, there are two ways you can react: zoom down to the problem areas and crib about how things aren’t the way you want, or celebrate the areas that are going well and work on making everything better.

    Many of us see the importance of doing the latter but in practice, we do the former. Why though? Criticizing and focusing on the negatives is easy but it doesn’t empower nor inspire us to be better.

    Make a change — for every negative encounter you run into, I challenge you to identify three things that are good about it. Practice doing this for one week, and by the end of the week you’ll find that your first instinct is to think positive, not negative.

    And here’re even more ways to help you stay positive: 11 Tips for Maintaining your Positive Attitude

    The Bottom Line

    So here you find the 13 most common bad habits and their consequences on your mind and body. The good news’ you can quit them all.

    Just spot out your own bad habits and take my suggestions to quit them. Then you’ll find your life a lot healthier and happier!

    Need more tips to break your bad habits? Check out these articles:

    Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

    Reference

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