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7 Truths You Should Tell Your Boys And Girls In Middle School

7 Truths You Should Tell Your Boys And Girls In Middle School

Middle school can be exciting and terror-inducing. For the youngster, middle school is a whole new experience. There is the challenge of staying organized, managing lockers, dressing down for PE, changing classrooms, and more homework. Yet, there are also new kinds of relationships to be formed and strengthened; youngsters begin to exercise more discretion in their choice of friends and activities. Altogether, it can be difficult for parents to help their child deal with this stage. Yet offering youngsters words that will help them face the reality of the situation they find themselves in will help them pass through this stage successfully.

These are some truths you need to tell your boys and girls who are in middle school:

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“You are great and no one should make you feel otherwise”

Let no one tell you who you are and who you are not, whether they are your teachers or bullies. Understand that you have demonstrated strength already by waking up and going to school every day. You have shown you can adapt and that you are willing to learn. There may be challenges now but at the other side of the door, there are so many exciting things that await you.

“Let your sense of success come from within”

Let no one mislead you with gratuitous accolades or flattery. You may be popular because you are great at sports, because you are gorgeous, or because you have lovely grades, but that does not quantify who you are and who you will become. It is easy to become misguided by the noise and distraction of wanting to be noticed in school, but like everything in life, this stage will soon pass.

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“Always be aware of your environment”

It is difficult to know who has your interests at heart and who doesn’t. There will be a lot of people who come into your world with all sorts of claims. Listen to their opinion and observe their actions, but be careful whose company you choose and whose advice you listen to. Always be aware of your environment and what you can take from it.

“It takes time to reach your peak”

Even great minds like Einstein and Steve Jobs were not the most popular or most knowledgeable person in school. Becoming who you are meant to be is a gradual process. You may not be the admirable person you think you should be now, but don’t worry or be nervous about it. It takes time for the oak tree to establish its roots. Take your time and enjoy the process.

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“Learn to be unique”

Many of your friends love to tailor their lives, appearance, and identity to what seems to be the latest trend. But this method won’t necessarily lead to success. Trying to be what you are not can end in tears. So try and make sure you approach life methodically, rather than mechanically. Learn to be unique and explain who you are to the world around you honestly- but never let the outside world define you.

“Be careful in the way you approach relationships”

Many people you meet in middle school you may never see again. Yet, learn to appreciate your relationships and give as much as you can to sustain them. The truth is that you don’t know how much your actions or words may influence the people around you- for better or worse. A kind thing you say to someone could stay with them always, serving as inspiration when they need to bounce back from dark times.

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“Real friendships are not defined by technology”

We have so much sitting in between our friendships these days. There is social media, smartphones, chat apps- and it can be difficult to be able to really measure our friendships. Learn to reflect on your friendships. How much are you willing to give to the friendship and what do you really want from it? This kind of introspection offers value that goes beyond what technology has to offer.

Featured photo credit: http://www.compfight.com via compfight.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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