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Every Woman Should Read These 6 Books Recommended By Sheryl Sandberg

Every Woman Should Read These 6 Books Recommended By Sheryl Sandberg

If you’re still looking for inspirational reads that fit in with the long book list already recommended by your BFFs, then take a look at the books Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg praised in a recent New York Times interview.

1. Bossypants by Tina Fey

Bossypants

    Topic: If the bossypants fit, wear them!

    Tina Fey takes a critical but humorous look at her career, life, media, and motherhood. The comedian discusses the important issues women in the workplace face every day.

    Best quotation: “When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on.”

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    2. Conscious Business by Fred Kofman

    business


      Topic: Holding on to your ethical values in business is an advantage, not disadvantage.

      The book advocates that success can emerge naturally when we hold onto and act on ethical values. Studies prove that men in the workplace act far more unethically than female employees. Therefore, the book’s stance on the role ethics play in business taps into a natural trait of character most women share.

      Best quotation: “Have you ever driven down the highway on cruise control, engaged in a conversation or daydreaming, only to realize you missed your exit?… Relevant details, such as your location and the actions needed to reach your goal, receded from the forefront of your mind. Your eyes were open, but you didn’t see. This is a poor way to drive — and an even poorer way to live.”

      3. A Short Guide to a Happy Life by Anna Quindlen

      Happy Life
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        Topic: Women, take charge of your own lives!

        Quindlen looks at how women view themselves and their roles in society by charting some vaguely linked personal observations and encouraging women to take charge of their own lives.

        Best quotation: “You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart.”

        4. Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

        Discover

          Topic: Build on your strengths, ladies!

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          The book advises readers to concentrate on their strengths, not their weaknesses, which in the case of women in the workplace means that, instead of adopting a masculine approach to management, it is far more advantageous for women to concentrate on their own unique way of managing.

          Best quotation: “From this point of view, to avoid your strengths and to focus on your weaknesses isn’t a sign of diligent humility. It is almost irresponsible. By contrast, the most responsible, the most challenging, and, in the sense of being true to yourself, the most honorable thing to do is face up to the strength potential inherent in your talents and then find ways to realize it.”

          5. Home Game by Michael Lewis

          Michael Lewis

            Topic: Men struggle just as much while juggling parenthood and job.

            Lewis’s book takes a warts-and-all, humorous look at fatherhood from the male point of view. Women readers will recognize themselves in the struggling parent and be pleasantly surprised that men find it just as hard to juggle parenthood with workplace commitments.

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            Best quotation: “If you remembered what new parenthood was actually like you wouldn’t go around lying to people about how wonderful it is, and you certainly wouldn’t ever do it twice.”

            6. The Lean Startup by Eric Ries

            The lean startup

              Topic: Startups don’t fit into conventional concepts of management methods.

              Ries’s book serves as a guide for starting up a business on a tiny budget. His advice will particularly resonate with female readers, who often yearn for, but don’t realize their dream of starting up a business.

              Best quotation: “The first problem is the allure of a good plan, a solid strategy, and thorough market research… The overwhelming temptation is to apply them to startups too, but this doesn’t work, because startups operate with too much uncertainty. Startups do not yet know who their customer is or what their product should be… The old management methods are not up to the task.”

              Featured photo credit: Reading Glasses On Book With Hot Tea Drink via stokpic.com

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              1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

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              Last Updated on May 21, 2019

              How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

              How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

              For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

              If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

              Example 1

              You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

              You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

              In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

              Example 2

              You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

              People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

              You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

              Example 3

              You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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              The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

              Example 4

              You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

              Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

              If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

              Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

              • Understand your own communication style
              • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
              • Communicate with precision and care
              • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

              1. Understand Your Communication Style

              To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

              In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

              Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

              2. Learn Others Communication Styles

              Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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              If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

              “How do you prefer to receive information?”

              This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

              To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

              3. Exercise Precision and Care

              A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

              On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

              Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

              I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

              I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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              In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

              The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

              Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

              4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

              Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

              In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

              “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

              Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

              Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

              It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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              It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

              It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

              Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

              Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

              The Bottom Line

              When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

              I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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              Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

              Reference

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