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10 Questions To Help You Find and Boost Your Superpowers

10 Questions To Help You Find and Boost Your Superpowers
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What superpowers would you choose if you could?

Fly like Superman? Deflect bullets with cool bracelets like Wonder Woman? Quickly heal wounds like Wolverine? Here’s the beautiful part: you already possess superpowers.

Today, more than ever, we’re drawn to superheroes. Marvel Cinematic Universe is the top grossing box office franchise in the world, and DC Comics is still going strong in its 75th year. Why the fascination?

Just about every superhero story begins with loss and darkness, continues with a search for meaning, and eventually leads to the discovery of the power within. We can relate to this because it’s our story, too. We love superheroes because they give us hope and inspire us to be our best selves.

After teaching creativity workshops for 20 years I now know for certain that each of us is born with a special gift that no one else in the world can express like we can. These innate skills and passions are our superpowers.

When we are true to ourselves we naturally develop these unique talents and excel at work and in life. Unfortunately, many of us are unaware of our special strengths, or hold ourselves back, because we’re pressured to conform to someone else’s idea of who we should be. My job is to help reawaken these dormant forces and set people free to realize their true destinies.

According to The Flash, “There comes a time when you’ve got to stop running away from things… and you’ve got to start running towards something. Even if your path isn’t lit… trust that you’ll find your way.”

To that end, here are 10 questions to help you discover and boost your superpowers. They’ve helped liberate thousands of participants ages 8 to 84 in my workshops, and they’ll work for you and your children, too.

1. What comes naturally to you?

“When you are born, your work is placed in your heart.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

Many of us don’t recognize our superpowers because they come so easily to us, so we don’t think they’re special. We take them for granted because we think everyone has them, too. They don’t. I didn’t realize I had musical talent until I was forced to compare myself to other graduate students during a music perception test at Princeton (where I was studying psychology). I was surprised to learn I’d scored off the charts.

Princess Diana (Wonder Woman) possesses super strength and combat skills because she was born an immortal Amazon. What about you? What are you naturally good at; what is the thing that you do better than others? Running, teaching, drawing, accounting, schmoozing, cooking, or something else? Compare yourself to the people around you and find out. The abilities you express without even trying to are your superpowers.

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2. What fills you with passion?

“There is no passion to be found in… settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~ Nelson Mandela

One of the easiest ways to discover your superpower is to note what fills you with joy- not your parents, teachers, or friends—but YOU. Be willing to experiment to find it.

“Jane” was a Fortune 500 executive who wanted a creative outlet after work. At first she tried writing because her father was an author, but she realized she didn’t have a way with words. Then she tried drawing, and eventually discovered that painting was her true passion.

What about you? What do you love to read about, talk about, dream about? What’s your favorite hobby? Genius Tony Stark (Iron Man) has a passion for creating advanced suits of armor and improving their features. When I was a psychology professor I wrote “little songs” after work and dreamed of being a rock star. What fills you with curiosity?

3. What makes time disappear for you?

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tau

How do you know when you’re using your superpowers? Time disappears. No drugs necessary! Whenever I write a song, I seclude myself in my studio and emerge several hours later feeling content and spaced-out with a new tune that seems to have written itself. Time seems to vanish.

This isn’t true for everything I do, though. When I was a professor, writing research papers was full of fits and starts. I checked the clock every few minutes, impatient to finish. It was a requirement of my job, not my superpower.

In the TV series when nuclear physicist Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk, he’s rarely consciously aware of using his superpowers, but he sure does a great job of smashing things. What activities really engage you and put you in the moment? For me it’s playing music. For Jane it was painting. The answer could surprise you.

4. What makes you different (weird)?

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist,” ~ Martha Graham

There’s no one else like you. You don’t have to try to be different. You already are. The trick to finding your superpowers is to own what makes you unique, even if it seems weird.

“Lauren,” a bored technical writer, often wore bunny slippers. It was clear she wasn’t your typical office worker. She told us she scribbled ideas for movies in the margins of her tech manuals. I encouraged Lauren to focus on those marginalized writings. A year later she wrote, directed, and produced an internationally-distributed film. Now Lauren’s flourishing in the entertainment industry.

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What about you? What special talents, skills, and interests make you different? After being bitten by a radioactive spider, high-school student Peter Parker (Spiderman) is less than thrilled that he can stick to walls until he grasps how he can use the speed and strength of spiders to his advantage. My mother and colleagues told me I was crazy to leave my job as a professor, but after my debut CD produced a top 10 hit in South Africa (the same year Nelson Mandela was elected president) they changed their minds.

To discover your superpowers, embrace your inner weirdo.

5. What do your friends ask for advice about?

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” ~ Maya Angelou

You’re an expert at something; you may just not know what it is yet. Think about what people ask you for advice about. Odds are you have a skill or talent you take for granted that your friends cherish.

“Emmy” was a coaching client who complained she was just a “measly” housewife who wasn’t good at anything. I noticed she had a real flair for wearing clothes she looked beautiful in. “Anyone can shop,” she declared when I pointed out her knack for fashion. I urged her to get a sales position and gain valuable work experience to develop her eye for style. I also asked her to develop a “look” for my first CD cover. She ended up becoming a successful buyer for a trendy children’s boutique.

Batman mentors his protégé Robin in fighting and combat. Professor Xavier teaches young X-Men to control their mutant powers and better mankind. What do your friends ask you for help with?

6. What did you love to do as a child?

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” ~ Pablo Picasso

Our superpowers make themselves known to us when we’re children, teenagers, and young adults. But often we forget about them later in life because our parents and teachers ignore, minimize, or even attack our authentic natures. According to Brené Brown, 42% of kids are shamed away from pursuing some form of creative expression in school.

“Pamela” was a 40 year old wife and mother who took my creativity workshop because she wanted to be a writer. After several weeks she remembered that a high school teacher had failed her for being original with an assignment. She’d internalized this—thought she was a bad writer— and had given up. I told Pamela to write about the upsetting event. The next week she handed me a 20 page tome with a big smile on her face.

Many X-Men hide their mutant powers because they’re ashamed of being different. I played piano as if I’d been classically trained at age 4 but no one noticed so I stopped. Clark Kent’s (Superman) adoptive parents urged him to suppress his amazing abilities as a child until he developed a strong moral compass.

What about you? What did you love to do as a child or young adult that’s been blocked or put on hold? This a major clue to your superpowers.

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7. What would you do if money didn’t matter?

“He who isn’t busy being born is busy dying.” ~ Bob Dylan

If you didn’t have to worry about money—one of the main excuses my workshop participants use for not changing their lives—what would you do?

“Maria” was a police detective who wanted to retire early and travel the world. She figured she’d write travel brochures to support herself, but she didn’t enjoy writing. I could tell Maria really liked being a police detective. I suggested she think about how to merge travel with police work. Six months after our class ended she landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police to adopt human rights procedures.

After watching his parents get gunned down during a mugging in Gotham City as a kid, millionaire Bruce Wayne dedicates himself to becoming the world’s greatest weapon against crime as Batman. What would you do if you never had to be concerned about money again?

8. Which answer comes up the most?

“Life doesn’t give us purpose, we give life purpose.” ~ The Flash

Take a look back. Find the answer that occurs most frequently when responding to these questions. THAT’s your superpower.

If you find more than one repeating theme, your powers may comprise a combination of abilities and interests. Look for the overlap. I’m a singer-songwriter, speaker, and writer, but I use all my superpowers to help others discover THEIR superpowers.

You don’t have to be a specialist to succeed. If you are a marketer who codes or an engineer that writes, that unique skill set is your career superpower.

9. How do you boost your superpowers?

“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of. ~ Paulo Coelho

Now that you’ve got a glimpse of your superpowers, make a commitment to developing your natural abilities through study, discipline, and practice. Find a mentor, take classes, get a coach, stay on top of what’s happening in your field, and stretch yourself.

I’ve recorded hundreds of songs but I still take songwriting lessons to hone my skills as a singer-songwriter. Jimi Hendrix practiced his guitar ALL the time. He wore it when he boarded planes and made scrambled eggs. He became a master guitarist because he constantly sought to bolster his innate talent.

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Technically Batman does not have superpowers but he’s the most feared superhero of all because he pushes himself to the pinnacle of human achievement and fighting techniques. When you amplify your special strengths, you stand out from the crowd.

10. How do you become a superhero?

“I believe there is a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble.” ~ May Parker (Spider-Man 2)

Don’t worry. You don’t have to save the day like Spider-Man. But you can make the world a better place in little ways by using your superpowers to help others. When you think about it, superheroes show us how to lead better lives.

Wonder Woman forces people to tell the truth with her magic lasso, suggesting that we should all strive to be our true selves. Uncle Ben warns that “with great power comes great responsibility”and Spiderman responds by being kind, funny and humble. Hulk, my favorite, must learn to accept his vulnerability and see the beauty in his gamma-fueled beast form. Batman channels his negative emotions into heroic action.

Everyone has something special to offer, even Groot, a tree-like superhero who can only say “I am Groot.” After a boy who struggles with dyspraxia watched this simple hero talk in the movie “Guardians of the Galaxy,” he began to speak more.

When you own rather than block your greatest strengths, you become a positive role model for your family, friends, and colleagues.

According to David Carson and Jamie Samms, “Tribal teachings say that whatever you do will affect the next seven generations. Every decision you make creates a state of stagnation or rebirth for those who follow you. When you block yourself, you block generations to come. Your dreams build future civilizations, so nourish them well.”

It’s all up to you. So what are you waiting for? Tune that guitar or sign up for that accounting class. The sooner you embrace your superpowers, the happier you’ll be. Like Batman says, “You only have your thoughts and dreams ahead of you. You are someone. You mean something.”

Featured photo credit: Suzanne Pyle Photography via flickr.com

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Dr. Michelle Millis Chappel

Michelle is a psychology-professor-turned-rock-star who has helped thousands of people create successful meaningful lives by using their superpowers.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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