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10 Thoughts Preventing You From Leaving Your Comfort Zone

10 Thoughts Preventing You From Leaving Your Comfort Zone

Whether you believe it or not, the ability to intentionally leave your comfort zone to achieve long-term goals is what separates the outstanding people from the average crowd.

Imagine two circles that aren’t connected with each other in any way. The one is small and normal, and the second one significantly bigger and superior. The first circle represents the comfortable life full of relaxing, browsing the Internet, lying all day in bed on the weekends and consuming countless amounts of your favorite chocolate. It’s the symbol of a life spent in the comfort zone. On the first glance, it may seem rainbows and unicorns, but in reality, it’s a circle which guarantees you nothing but regrets.

Then there’s the second circle: filled with unknown territory that waits to be discovered, big dreams which need you to make them become a reality and rewards so fulfilling that you’d never trade them for sweets and television. This is what life spent out of your comfort zone looks like. Such a lifestyle tests your willpower and discipline on a regular basis. Every new day is a new challenge. However, the prize for being brave and committed is huge and worth the effort.

To take a quantum leap forward, you need to determine and eradicate the negative thoughts which discourage you from leaving the comfort zone for good. Here’s a list of 10 that are most common and dangerous.

1. “I don’t really have to do this.”

If there’s no one else who’d push you to do something, it’s very tough to stay motivated when you want to give up. Suddenly, your mind begins bombarding you with reasons to abandon your goal and do something pleasurable, as “you don’t have to struggle anyway”. This thought is typical and I experienced it way too many times. I even believed in it and gave up on my commitments as well. However, the more I felt the bitter taste of failure, the more I realized how fictional and made up this urge is.

In reality, you have to do this and there’s no doubt about it. Whatever your goal is, you can’t give up on it based on the emotions that arrive during the hard times. Once this dangerous reflection comes to your mind, remind yourself about this article and my advice. When your brain spares no effort to convince you to give up so you can feel better instantly, you know that you’ll feel even worse afterward.

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2. “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Sometimes, it’s the best thing you can do. However, it only works if you actually start tomorrow. The real problem is, most people don’t and tomorrow never comes.Tomorrow becomes some unknown date in the future, the magic time when you feel ready and prepared.

Let’s say you want to start running regularly and you decide to begin tomorrow. If you determine exactly when you’ll have your workout session, tell yourself why you’ll do this and even put your running clothes somewhere visible, then you are very likely to stick to your words.

However, if you just fool yourself that you’ll begin tomorrow only because right now you feel like watching funny Youtube videos, then that’s a straight way to a never-ending procrastination.

3. “Right now is not the perfect moment.”

I wanted to start a self-improvement blog for a very long time, but I didn’t feel like starting now was a good idea. Instead, I’d keep convincing myself that in a few months I’ll be ready to start like a pro. Once a few months went by, I’d come up with another excuse why waiting one more month is better than starting today.

As you can probably imagine, it’s a vicious circle. If you adopt such a mindset, you’ll never get started. Once my frustration reached the boiling point, I just immediately did what I couldn’t do for months and within a few hours my site was live. I finally decided to ignore the excuses and step out the comfort zone. To tell the truth, it’s the only decision you won’t regret. Everything else brings regrets and makes you wonder: “what would happen if I tried…”

4. “I’ll begin once I have more _____.“

Personally, “more time” seems to be my brain’s favorite excuse. When it comes to doing something uncomfortable that we’ve been thinking about forever, there’s always something to keep us busy and distracted. In reality, however, that very thing won’t make any significant difference in your life, but you keep using it as an easy excuse. It’s just comfortable.

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Whenever you realize that you use this excuse, be aware that in most cases, we already have all we need to get started. If you don’t work hard toward creating a better environment to start, I promise you it won’t happen by itself or accident.

5. “If I only had _____, I would surely succeed.”

Another stupid thought that prevents countless people from succeeding in life is thinking something will eventually come along that leads to sure success. What really works is relying on internal factors to better yourself.

Sure, some people are better off than others, but the most crucial elements are taking action and staying persistent even when you don’t see the results right off the bat.It’s the internal factors that matter the most. All the external ones are just the nice additions but aren’t required.

6. “I’m not good enough to even get started.”

Nowadays we are bombarded with the highlights of other people lives. Whether it’s advertising and highly photoshopped banners, Instagram or Facebook profiles or video blogs, most of the information shared is just the tip of the iceberg. Usually, the ugly truth is hidden, so you feel like the only one experiencing the downs of life.

As a result, you end up feeling inadequate. If you don’t feel good enough, it’s tough to release that inner willpower and strength which embrace leaving your comfort zone. So now, let me tell you the harsh truth. Most of the people feel insecure, have self-doubts and experience the moments when they think giving up is the only solution. It is highly likely that their social media does not tell the whole story.

It just the way your brain tries to fool you. Ignore it, because you are already good enough. And if you’re not, fake it until you make it!

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7. “This is the last time I procrastinate!”

Each time you make an exception, you automatically make the next attempt more challenging. Over time, your mind will make a bad habit of procrastinating at all cost and it will become a real struggle to stick to any of your commitments. You need to realize it’s the hardest moments and how you react once they happen that will either make or break you. If you can bite the bullet and just take action, this fact alone will make future attempts much easier.

One study showed that the people who were confronted with continued mental challenge improved the most. The group that faced the most uncomfortable tasks was the one with greatest results. The psychological scientist Denise Park gets to the point of the research and its clear message: “When you are inside your comfort zone you may be outside of the enhancement zone.”

8. “Today I’ll have fun, but tomorrow I’ll focus on my goals!”

This can actually work, but only if you modify the sentence: right now I’ll work toward my goals so that at the end of the day I can feel satisfied and fulfilled. If you make pleasure the first priority, it’s insanely hard to stop and get to the uncomfortable activities.

Getting pleasant things without working for them in the first place is the essence of staying in the comfort zone. If you go this route, over time another bad habit will take roots. Fortunately, you can make it work in your favor and do it in reverse order.

Let’s take dieting as an example. If you keep a healthy diet during the week, don’t overeat and make sure to consume only high-quality foods in reasonable amounts, then there’s nothing wrong allowing yourself a cheat meal or even a cheat day (if you don’t tend to go overboard). Basically, you get out of your comfort zone to keep track of your meals. Doing this, you simply earn yourself a cheat meal. Believe me, when it’s earned, it tastes much better!

9. “I don’t know how!”

If you don’t, that’s completely understandable. Most of the experts were newbies at first. Knowing something isn’t a result of talent or magic, it’s the consequence of work and constant improvement. In today’s world full of information available immediately and for free, you just can’t say you don’t know how to get started and then give up.

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As I’m writing this article, there are already more than 2 000 000 blog posts written today. Furthermore, almost 1 500 000 books were published in 2015 alone. Not to count countless hours of educational material published on Youtube and similar sites. Simply put, there are at least a few free ways to learn a solution to whatever problem you have.You can learn anything that you put your mind to.

10. “You only live once and life is meant to be enjoyed!”

If there’s one thing I’m sure of is that true contentment and pleasure can only be found within the discomfort zone. You don’t achieve true happiness and fulfillment right away. It’s too precious to happen to anyone at any time. What you need to do first is embrace the chaos so that eventually you come to the peace.

Staying within your comfort zone seems enjoyable on the surface and that’s why most of the people never leave that perilous area. However, once you step into the unknown and do something you never did before, you realize you’ve been off base with that assumption. It seems that staying within your comfort zone means not risking anything. In reality, however, you risk the invaluable resource which time is. You risk wasting your whole life and missing out on the incredible taste of outstanding achievement. Please, don’t do it to yourself.

Featured photo credit: Helmuts Guigo via flickr.com

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Oskar Nowik

Oskar is a blogger and the author of "Brightening: The Positive Attitude That Will Change Your Life"

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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