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10 Thoughts Preventing You From Leaving Your Comfort Zone

10 Thoughts Preventing You From Leaving Your Comfort Zone

Whether you believe it or not, the ability to intentionally leave your comfort zone to achieve long-term goals is what separates the outstanding people from the average crowd.

Imagine two circles that aren’t connected with each other in any way. The one is small and normal, and the second one significantly bigger and superior. The first circle represents the comfortable life full of relaxing, browsing the Internet, lying all day in bed on the weekends and consuming countless amounts of your favorite chocolate. It’s the symbol of a life spent in the comfort zone. On the first glance, it may seem rainbows and unicorns, but in reality, it’s a circle which guarantees you nothing but regrets.

Then there’s the second circle: filled with unknown territory that waits to be discovered, big dreams which need you to make them become a reality and rewards so fulfilling that you’d never trade them for sweets and television. This is what life spent out of your comfort zone looks like. Such a lifestyle tests your willpower and discipline on a regular basis. Every new day is a new challenge. However, the prize for being brave and committed is huge and worth the effort.

To take a quantum leap forward, you need to determine and eradicate the negative thoughts which discourage you from leaving the comfort zone for good. Here’s a list of 10 that are most common and dangerous.

1. “I don’t really have to do this.”

If there’s no one else who’d push you to do something, it’s very tough to stay motivated when you want to give up. Suddenly, your mind begins bombarding you with reasons to abandon your goal and do something pleasurable, as “you don’t have to struggle anyway”. This thought is typical and I experienced it way too many times. I even believed in it and gave up on my commitments as well. However, the more I felt the bitter taste of failure, the more I realized how fictional and made up this urge is.

In reality, you have to do this and there’s no doubt about it. Whatever your goal is, you can’t give up on it based on the emotions that arrive during the hard times. Once this dangerous reflection comes to your mind, remind yourself about this article and my advice. When your brain spares no effort to convince you to give up so you can feel better instantly, you know that you’ll feel even worse afterward.

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2. “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Sometimes, it’s the best thing you can do. However, it only works if you actually start tomorrow. The real problem is, most people don’t and tomorrow never comes.Tomorrow becomes some unknown date in the future, the magic time when you feel ready and prepared.

Let’s say you want to start running regularly and you decide to begin tomorrow. If you determine exactly when you’ll have your workout session, tell yourself why you’ll do this and even put your running clothes somewhere visible, then you are very likely to stick to your words.

However, if you just fool yourself that you’ll begin tomorrow only because right now you feel like watching funny Youtube videos, then that’s a straight way to a never-ending procrastination.

3. “Right now is not the perfect moment.”

I wanted to start a self-improvement blog for a very long time, but I didn’t feel like starting now was a good idea. Instead, I’d keep convincing myself that in a few months I’ll be ready to start like a pro. Once a few months went by, I’d come up with another excuse why waiting one more month is better than starting today.

As you can probably imagine, it’s a vicious circle. If you adopt such a mindset, you’ll never get started. Once my frustration reached the boiling point, I just immediately did what I couldn’t do for months and within a few hours my site was live. I finally decided to ignore the excuses and step out the comfort zone. To tell the truth, it’s the only decision you won’t regret. Everything else brings regrets and makes you wonder: “what would happen if I tried…”

4. “I’ll begin once I have more _____.“

Personally, “more time” seems to be my brain’s favorite excuse. When it comes to doing something uncomfortable that we’ve been thinking about forever, there’s always something to keep us busy and distracted. In reality, however, that very thing won’t make any significant difference in your life, but you keep using it as an easy excuse. It’s just comfortable.

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Whenever you realize that you use this excuse, be aware that in most cases, we already have all we need to get started. If you don’t work hard toward creating a better environment to start, I promise you it won’t happen by itself or accident.

5. “If I only had _____, I would surely succeed.”

Another stupid thought that prevents countless people from succeeding in life is thinking something will eventually come along that leads to sure success. What really works is relying on internal factors to better yourself.

Sure, some people are better off than others, but the most crucial elements are taking action and staying persistent even when you don’t see the results right off the bat.It’s the internal factors that matter the most. All the external ones are just the nice additions but aren’t required.

6. “I’m not good enough to even get started.”

Nowadays we are bombarded with the highlights of other people lives. Whether it’s advertising and highly photoshopped banners, Instagram or Facebook profiles or video blogs, most of the information shared is just the tip of the iceberg. Usually, the ugly truth is hidden, so you feel like the only one experiencing the downs of life.

As a result, you end up feeling inadequate. If you don’t feel good enough, it’s tough to release that inner willpower and strength which embrace leaving your comfort zone. So now, let me tell you the harsh truth. Most of the people feel insecure, have self-doubts and experience the moments when they think giving up is the only solution. It is highly likely that their social media does not tell the whole story.

It just the way your brain tries to fool you. Ignore it, because you are already good enough. And if you’re not, fake it until you make it!

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7. “This is the last time I procrastinate!”

Each time you make an exception, you automatically make the next attempt more challenging. Over time, your mind will make a bad habit of procrastinating at all cost and it will become a real struggle to stick to any of your commitments. You need to realize it’s the hardest moments and how you react once they happen that will either make or break you. If you can bite the bullet and just take action, this fact alone will make future attempts much easier.

One study showed that the people who were confronted with continued mental challenge improved the most. The group that faced the most uncomfortable tasks was the one with greatest results. The psychological scientist Denise Park gets to the point of the research and its clear message: “When you are inside your comfort zone you may be outside of the enhancement zone.”

8. “Today I’ll have fun, but tomorrow I’ll focus on my goals!”

This can actually work, but only if you modify the sentence: right now I’ll work toward my goals so that at the end of the day I can feel satisfied and fulfilled. If you make pleasure the first priority, it’s insanely hard to stop and get to the uncomfortable activities.

Getting pleasant things without working for them in the first place is the essence of staying in the comfort zone. If you go this route, over time another bad habit will take roots. Fortunately, you can make it work in your favor and do it in reverse order.

Let’s take dieting as an example. If you keep a healthy diet during the week, don’t overeat and make sure to consume only high-quality foods in reasonable amounts, then there’s nothing wrong allowing yourself a cheat meal or even a cheat day (if you don’t tend to go overboard). Basically, you get out of your comfort zone to keep track of your meals. Doing this, you simply earn yourself a cheat meal. Believe me, when it’s earned, it tastes much better!

9. “I don’t know how!”

If you don’t, that’s completely understandable. Most of the experts were newbies at first. Knowing something isn’t a result of talent or magic, it’s the consequence of work and constant improvement. In today’s world full of information available immediately and for free, you just can’t say you don’t know how to get started and then give up.

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As I’m writing this article, there are already more than 2 000 000 blog posts written today. Furthermore, almost 1 500 000 books were published in 2015 alone. Not to count countless hours of educational material published on Youtube and similar sites. Simply put, there are at least a few free ways to learn a solution to whatever problem you have.You can learn anything that you put your mind to.

10. “You only live once and life is meant to be enjoyed!”

If there’s one thing I’m sure of is that true contentment and pleasure can only be found within the discomfort zone. You don’t achieve true happiness and fulfillment right away. It’s too precious to happen to anyone at any time. What you need to do first is embrace the chaos so that eventually you come to the peace.

Staying within your comfort zone seems enjoyable on the surface and that’s why most of the people never leave that perilous area. However, once you step into the unknown and do something you never did before, you realize you’ve been off base with that assumption. It seems that staying within your comfort zone means not risking anything. In reality, however, you risk the invaluable resource which time is. You risk wasting your whole life and missing out on the incredible taste of outstanding achievement. Please, don’t do it to yourself.

Featured photo credit: Helmuts Guigo via flickr.com

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Oskar Nowik

Oskar is a blogger and the author of "Brightening: The Positive Attitude That Will Change Your Life"

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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