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19 Real Life Examples of An Extroverted Introvert So You Don’t Get Confused

19 Real Life Examples of An Extroverted Introvert So You Don’t Get Confused
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If you’re like me, you’re an extroverted introvert. You can be outgoing, yet you desperately need your alone time.

You can’t do that. You’re one or the other.

No, this is how I am. And that’s how many other people are. But we’re often misunderstood.

Take for instance, people often see me as completely, inarguably, extroverted because that’s the personality that gets the most attention. The other side of me, the side that stays home and reads all day, doesn’t get any attention (but I love doing that, take a look at my reading list if you don’t believe me).

Let me tell you what happened a few weekends ago.

I spent Saturday alone, reading, writing, getting errands done. At 8:54 pm, I got a text from a friend, asking what I was up to. He was making plans to go out. I responded, “Nothing. What’s up?”

Fifteen minutes passed and he didn’t respond. I wanted to go out and considered calling him to see what was happening, but also wanted to sit in bed and read a book before going to bed at 10 pm. So I didn’t call.

Another fifteen minutes passed and I finally made the call. It took half an hour and a significant amount of energy for me to put down my book, pick up my phone, and call him to figure out the plan for that night.

So instead of staying in and reading myself to sleep, I left my apartment at 9:30 pm to go out for drinks.

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And you know what I did? I danced. And I was obnoxious. And I had tons of fun.

But the next day? I sat at a coffee shop and read a book. I did some grocery shopping, cooked, and ate alone while watching Netflix. I spoke to almost no one. I only texted my friend who I went out with the night before to see how he was doing. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. And I loved it.

So yes I’m outgoing. But not all the time.

The fact is, extroversion and introversion isn’t an either/or type of thing. It’s a spectrum and you can lie anywhere along that spectrum.

For us, we happen to be very close to the middle and even flip-flop between the two.

I know, it’s confusing.

Some of us learned to become more extroverted because we realize that the basis of human nature is grounded in interacting with each other – it’s kind of unavoidable.

To relieve you of some confusion, here are a few things we’d like you to know about extroverted introverts.

1. We’re often quiet, but it doesn’t mean we don’t want to talk.

We most likely have plenty of thoughts we want to talk about, but think that they won’t interest you. We’d rather listen to you talk because we want to learn about you and we know you’d enjoy talking.

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2. And just because we like being around people doesn’t mean we want to talk.

Talking requires a lot of effort. For us, being around people is often enough to make us happy. I know, it’s a little confusing.

3. We like hanging out one on one better than in groups. We’ll listen to you forever.

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    One on one hangouts are more intimate and we like that. It means we get a chance to actually get to know you and have a thorough conversation about what we really care about instead of making small talk that an entire group can contribute to.

    4. We suck at responding to texts because sometimes we don’t want to talk – to anyone.

    It’s not that we hate people or that we’re annoyed. Sometimes we’ve just been around people so much that we’re exhausted from talking and texting and Skyping and we just don’t want to talk. We’re totally open to hanging out in person, just don’t expect us to talk too much when we’re in one of these moods.

    5. We’re open to meeting your other friends. Just let us know ahead of time that we’ll be meeting new people so we can mentally prepare ourselves to socialize.

    We’re not closed off to meeting new people, it’s just a very exhausting thing to do. So we literally have to prepare ourselves to socialize. We have to get into the mindset of, “Okay, I’m going to be talking a lot.”

    6. Despite needing our alone time, we do get lonely.

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      It’s difficult to balance between alone time and not feeling lonely. Often we’ll want to go out because we feel alone, but our apartment is so comfortable that we won’t want to leave.

      7. It’s hard to get us out, but we’ll have a great time when we go out.

      Sometimes we’ll require some coercing to get us out of the house. Again, it’s not that we don’t want to go out, we just start thinking, “What if it’s not fun? I could totally be reading my book. What if the tickets are sold out? What if they don’t actually want me to go and they’re just inviting me to be nice? We begin to draw into our own heads and make up things that could go wrong and use them as excuses to not go out.

      8. We’ll happily chat up your parents/friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/boss/etc., but once it’s over, we require silence.

      After so much talking, we really need to recharge.

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      9. We’re not always the most talkative people in a group, but if someone is in need of a social life jacket, we can step up and offer that.

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        Again, we’ll happily chat someone up if the situation arises. We get that conversation can be uncomfortable, so if we see someone who is worse than us at holding a conversation, then we’ll take the initiative to make them feel more comfortable.

        10. We live in our heads even if it seems like we put ourselves out there.

        Even when we’re being outgoing, our thoughts are still running and analyzing the situation.

        11. Because we can be outgoing and calculated at the same time, sometimes we end up being leaders. But that does not mean we want praise, nor do we want to talk about how great we are.

        People seem to think that we’re fit to be leaders. We can stand up and talk in front of crowds when we need to. We can make decisions when we need to. But we often analyze ourselves and don’t think highly of our skill sets. Sometimes we don’t believe we’re good enough to lead. We always think we can be better so praise often makes us cringe.

        12. We bounce between wanting to be noticed for our hard work to panicking over the thought of somebody else paying more than 30 seconds of attention to us.

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          Sometimes we want attention, other times it’s hard to believe anyone would spend more than 10 seconds on us.

          13. People think we’re flirtatious. We’re not.

          We understand that interacting with people is a necessary part of life. So we make an effort to do it intentionally, and genuinely want people to know that they have our undivided interest and attention.

          14. We get mad at ourselves for wanting to stay in and letting our friends down.

          Which is why we sometimes force ourselves to go out. To let our friends know that we enjoy spending time with them, not because we want to be out.

          15. We’re at our happiest in places like coffee shops and cafés: surrounded by people, but still closed off and keeping to yourself.

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            We just like being around people, even if they’re strangers. It’s the compromise of being around people but not having to talk to them.

            16. We have a constant inner struggle of controlling our introverted side.

            It’s frustrating because we’ll realize when we start withdrawing into our own minds and become extremely introspective. It happens when we’re in really big crowds. And the only thought is, “Oh no, it’s happening. No. I have to talk to someone now. But it’s so difficult. No. Yes, you have to talk or else you’re going to end up in your head for the rest of the night.”

            17. We really don’t like small talk.

            We’d avoid small talk if we could. We want to really get to know you. We want to know what you think about, what your goals are, what your family is like. We don’t want to talk about how bad the weather is. But if that’s what you’re comfortable talking about, then we’ll talk about it.

            18. We don’t actually have a staple “group” of friends.

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              We often pick and choose one or two individuals from different social groups that make up our closest friends. But we make this handful of best friends our life and we’d do anything for them.

              19. If we like you, we really like you. We’re extremely picky about who we spend our time and energy on. If we’ve hung out multiple times, take it as a compliment.

              Seriously. If it’s such a struggle to talk to people and if we get so exhausting going out, it’s a big deal if we’re willing to spend our time and energy with you. It isn’t to say that we’re full of ourselves. We just wouldn’t want to spend that energy with people whose company we don’t enjoy.

              Featured photo credit: Unsplash via download.unsplash.com

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              Last Updated on February 11, 2021

              20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About

              20 Amazing Facts About Dreams that You Might Not Know About
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              Dreams — Mysterious, bewildering, eye-opening and sometimes a nightmarish living hell. Dreams are all that and much more.

              Here are 20 amazing facts about dreams that you might have never heard about:

              Fact #1: You can’t read while dreaming, or tell the time

                If you are unsure whether you are dreaming or not, try reading something. The vast majority of people are incapable of reading in their dreams.

                The same goes for clocks: each time you look at a clock it will tell a different time and the hands on the clock won’t appear to be moving as reported by lucid dreamers.

                Fact #2: Lucid dreaming

                There is a whole subculture of people practicing what is called lucid or conscious dreaming. Using various techniques, these people have supposedly learned to assume control of their dreams and do amazing things like flying, passing through walls, and traveling to different dimensions or even back in time.

                Want to learn how to control your dreams? You can try these tips:

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                Lucid Dreaming: This Is How You Can Control Your Dreams

                Fact #3: Inventions inspired by dreams

                Dreams are responsible for many of the greatest inventions of mankind. A few examples include:

                • The idea for Google -Larry Page
                • Alternating current generator -Tesla
                • DNA’s double helix spiral form -James Watson
                • The sewing machine -Elias Howe
                • Periodic table -Dimitri Mendeleyev

                …and many, many more.

                Fact #4: Premonition dreams

                There are some astounding cases where people actually dreamt about things which happened to them later, in the exact same ways they dreamed about.

                You could say they got a glimpse of the future, or it might have just been coincidence. The fact remains that this is some seriously interesting and bizarre phenomena. Some of the most famous premonition dreams include:

                • Abraham Lincoln dreamt of His Assassination
                • Many of the victims of 9/11 had dreams warning them about the catastrophe
                • Mark Twain’s dream of his brother’s demise
                • 19 verified precognitive dreams about the Titanic catastrophe

                Fact #5: Sleep paralysis

                Hell is real and it is called sleep paralysis. It’s the stuff of true nightmares. I’ve been a sleep paralysis sufferer as a kid and I can attest to how truly horrible it is.

                Two characteristics of sleep paralysis are the inability to move (hence paralysis) and a sense of an extremely evil presence in the room with you. It doesn’t feel like a dream, but 100% real. Studies show that during an attack, sleep paralysis sufferers show an overwhelming amygdala activity. The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” instinct and the emotions of fear, terror and anxiety. Enough said!

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                Fact #6: REM sleep disorder

                In the state of REM (rapid-eye-movement) stage of your sleep your body is normally paralyzed. In rare cases, however, people act out their dreams. These have resulted in broken arms, legs, broken furniture, and in at least one reported case, a house burnt down.

                Fact #7: Sexual dreams

                The very scientifically-named “nocturnal penile tumescence” is a very well documented phenomena. In laymen’s term, it simply means that you get a stiffy while you sleep. Actually, studies indicate that men get up to 20 erections per dream.

                Fact #8: Unbelievable sleepwalkers

                  Sleepwalking is a very rare and potentially dangerous sleep disorder. It is an extreme form of REM sleep disorder, and these people don’t just act out their dreams, but go on real adventures at night.

                  Lee Hadwin is a nurse by profession, but in his dreams he is an artist. Literally. He “sleepdraws” gorgeous portraits, of which he has no recollection afterwards. Strange sleepwalking “adventures” include:

                  • A woman having sex with strangers while sleepwalking
                  • A man who drove 22 miles and killed his cousin while sleepwalking
                  • A sleepwalker who walked out of the window from the third floor, and barely survived

                  Fact #9: Dream drug

                  There are actually people who like dreaming and dreams so much that they never want to wake up. They want to continue on dreaming even during the day, so they take an illegal and extremely potent hallucinogenic drug called Dimethyltryptamine. It is actually only an isolated and synthetic form of the chemical our brains produce naturally during dreaming.

                  Fact #10 Dream-catcher

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                    The dream-catcher is one of the most well-known Native American symbols. It is a loose web or webs woven around a hoop and decorated with sacred objects meant to protect against nightmares.

                    Fact #11: Increased brain activity

                    You would associate sleeping with peace and quiet, but actually our brains are more active during sleep than during the day.

                    Fact #12: Creativity and dreams

                    As we mentioned before, dreams are responsible for inventions, great artworks and are generally just incredibly interesting. They are also “recharging” our creativity.

                    Scientists also say that keeping a dream diary helps with creativity.

                    In rare cases of REM disorder, people actually don’t dream at all. These people suffer from significantly decreased creativity and perform badly at tasks requiring creative problem solving.

                    Fact #13: Pets dream too

                      Our animal companions dream as well. Watch a dog or a cat sleep and you can see that they are moving their paws and making noises like they were chasing something. Go get ’em buddy!

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                      Fact #14: You always dream—you just don’t remember it

                      Many people claim that they don’t dream at all, but that’s not true: we all dream, but up to 60% of people don’t remember their dreams at all.

                      Fact #15: Blind people dream too

                      Blind people who were not born blind see images in their dreams but people who were born blind don’t see anything at all. They still dream, and their dreams are just as intense and interesting, but they involve the other senses beside sight.

                      Fact #16: In your dreams, you only see faces that you already know

                        It is proven that in dreams, we can only see faces that we have seen in real life before. So beware: that scary-looking old lady next to you on the bus might as well be in your next nightmare.

                        Fact #17: Dreams tend to be negative

                        Surprisingly, dreams are more often negative than positive. The three most widely reported emotions felt during dreaming are anger, sadness and fear.

                        Fact #18: Multiple dreams per night

                        You can have up to seven different dreams per night depending on how many REM cycles you have. We only dream during the REM period of sleep, and the average person dreams one to two hours every night.

                        Fact #19: Gender differences

                        Interestingly, 70% of all the characters in a man’s dream are other men, but women’s dream contain an equal amount of women and men. Also men’s dreams contain a lot more aggression. Both women and men dream about sexual themes equally often.

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                        Fact #20: Not everyone dreams in color

                        As much as 12% of people only dream in black and white.

                        Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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