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15 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Multiple Sclerosis

15 Things To Remember If Your Loved Ones Suffer From Multiple Sclerosis

Has someone important to you been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS)?  This disease can be hard for patients — as well as their family and friends — to live with.  Here are some important things to remember if you love someone with this disease.

1. They Value Their Independence

Many MS patients, as the diseases progresses, can have problems with muscle control and mobility — and everyday tasks like preparing a meal, walking or going to the bathroom can become a challenge.  But they want to maintain their independence and do for themselves for as long as they possibly can.  It is an important part of their dignity.

2. They Live in Hope

MS is a progressive disease and there is no cure for it. However, they do have hope that this might change.  And research is underway around the world to help find eventually find a cure for this difficult disease. And in the meantime, new MS treatments are offering the hope for a better quality of life.

3. They Want to be Acknowledged

As the MS advances, many patients will often become confined to a wheelchair and may have difficulty speaking and some short term memory loss. Oftentimes, other people will feel uncomfortable about this and talk to relatives or doctors as though the patient is not there. People with MS want to be acknowledged and spoken to directly: their IQ is not affected by this disease and they want to be able to communicate just like everyone else.

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4. They are Not Helpless

People with MS can be empowered to take control of managing their disease through many lifestyle choices.  Diet, for instance, can play an important role in MS management and although it cannot cure the disease, it can help with the health of the immune system and the body in general.

5. They are Not Alone

Over 2.5 million people all around the world live with multiple sclerosis every day.  There are 400,000 in the United States alone and around 200 new people are diagnosed with this disease each week.  Because of its prevalence, there are MS support groups all over the country and many people find that joining a support group and getting connected with other who also struggle with this disease is emotionally helpful.

6. They Have Choices

Many patients with MS are choosing the route of complementary and alternative medicines to help manage with condition. Some will do this along with traditional treatments and some in place of them.  These alternatives include herbal therapy, acupuncture and massage therapy, among others.

7. They Do Not All Have the Same Signs and Symptoms

Multiple sclerosis is not a “one size fits all” disease!  It is different for each person who experiences it. There are four types of multiple sclerosis and each one can be mild, moderate or severe.  Not all people with MS will wind up with walkers or wheelchairs.  Not all will have vision or memory problems, either.

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8. They Do Not Have a Fatal Disease

Multiple sclerosis is not considered to be a fatal disease. The life expectancy of someone with MS is only 5-10 years less than that of the general population and with new treatments and better understanding of the disease, even that gap is beginning to close. It is important to note, however, that some complications from MS, like pneumonia, can become life-threatening.

9. They have the Same Interests as Everyone Else

People with MS enjoying going out to eat with friends, visiting a park or museum or going to a place of worship — in short, they have much the same interests as everyone else!  While it can take more planning and preparation to do these things with MS, it is still possible and still an enjoyable experience to get out and live life as fully as possible.

10. They Like to Be Active

Don’t assume that because someone has to use a walker or a wheelchair that they have to “rest” or “take it easy” all the time.  Even as the disease progresses, exercise within reason is considered to be beneficial for MS patients and activity in general can help to keep to boost the immune system and help with symptoms like depression.

11. They Can Struggle with Depression

Because multiple sclerosis can lead to a loss of independence as the diseases progresses and because this disease has no cure, people with MS can struggle with feelings of depression.  It is important to talk to the doctor about these feelings and seek therapy and/or medications — but loving support from family and friends can really help them, too.

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12. They Can Have Vision Problems, Too

Multiple sclerosis affects nerves throughout the body — including the optic nerve which controls vision.  As a result of this, people with MS can struggle with vision at times and have symptoms like blurred or double vision, difficulty controlling the movements of their eyes or even blindness (this is usually in just one eye and usually temporary).

13. They Might have Periods of Remission

Depending upon the type of MS a person has, they can have periods of remission, where the signs and symptoms of the disease seem to get better. This does not mean that they are cured of the disease, however, and these times should be enjoyed as a sort of reprieve when it is possible to get out and do more.  Keep in mind, though, that sooner or later, the MS symptoms will return.

14. They are Sexual Beings like Everyone Else

Even in an age of rights for the disabled, many people are uncomfortable with the idea that people with disabilities have sexual thoughts and feelings — and are capable of sexual expression.  While sex with MS can be more challenging, it is still possible for a couple to have a intimate and satisfying sex life even with this disease.  Good communication between the sexual partners is very important — just as it is in any relationship!

15. They Can Still Have Children

Women who get MS are often diagnosed in their 20’s or 30’s — when they are still of childbearing age.  And many women with this disease go on to have healthy pregnancies and give birth to healthy children — though often they must deliver by Caesarian section (C-section).  Don’t assume that because a young woman has MS that she is infertile and not interested in having children.

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So if someone you love has MS, keep these things in mind.  Because as with many chronic diseases, the loving support of family and friends is vital for emotional health and a good quality of life.

Featured photo credit: IM Free via depositphotos.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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