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10 Signs You’re Working With A Narcissist

10 Signs You’re Working With A Narcissist

Working alongside a narcissist can be annoying at the very least, and at worst can actually impede a company’s progress. The trick to dealing with an egocentric individual is to identify them for what they are, and not allow their behavior to affect you. It’s definitely easier said than done. However, if you allow them to get under your skin, not only will your work suffer, but other aspects of your life will as well.

Narcissists exhibit the following traits. If you notice any of your coworkers acting in any these ways, stay away from them as best you can.

1. They appear likable at fist

Narcissists are good at putting on a decent show for the public. They come off as friendly, gentle, and charismatic. However, this behavior is only a front. You’ll see their true personality come out during stressful situations when things aren’t going so smoothly. When someone else messes up, they’ll be the first to let them know. They also won’t accept any excuse. When a narcissist lets his true identity show, it will throw your entire perception of him for a loop. I’m not saying you should be wary of all polite and respectful individuals, but do be sure to notice how these people handle certain situations.

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2. They talk a big game

Narcissists will always talk up how good they are, and how much they’ve accomplished in life. They rarely give credit to the people who have helped them along the way. They act as if everything that’s come to them in life was through their efforts and abilities alone. Though it can be nauseating, the worst thing you can do is call a narcissist out when they’re going on and on about themselves. That’ll just make them go deeper into detail about how awesome they are.

3. They drop names

Narcissists also seem to know all the most important people in the industry and community. Whenever they have a story about happy hour, they’ll be sure to tell you exactly who was there, especially if they know that you don’t know who that person is. Subconsciously, they want you to be intimidated by the fact that they know so many people. In actuality, they most likely just engaged in boring small talk with all the people they listed, and probably didn’t even enjoy themselves. However, they’ll pretend as if you missed out because you weren’t important enough to be there.

4. They’re entitled

Narcissists think they’re above everyone else for no other reason than they are who they are. If a promotion is coming up, they’ll convince everyone around them that they’ll be the one moving up, seeing as they’ve put so much effort into their work lately. Of course, they take no notice of all the hard work other people have done. They certainly don’t give credit where credit is due (except to themselves, naturally). The best way to deal with a narcissist with a sense of entitlement is to (hopefully) get that promotion yourself through your own hard work and dedication.

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5. They play the victim

Of course, if you get the promotion, they’ll be the first to point out that it was probably because you invited the boss to your house for dinner that one time (even if they’d done it before as well). Narcissists will always have some sob story to rationalize their shortcomings, and will try to make you feel bad for them. They don’t take the time to realize that everyone faces hardships, and nobody has an easy life. There’s nothing you can do for them here. Narcissists will always see themselves as a victim of their circumstances.

6. They hate criticism

It should be obvious by now that narcissists think they can do no wrong. So when someone critiques their performance, they take it as an insult. They rarely use this constructive advice to better their performance. In their eyes, the other person simply doesn’t know what he’s talking about, so why should they change? Of course, they’ll be the first person to criticize someone else for a shoddy performance. They will do this out of spite. rather than to be constructive. Because their use of criticism is to put others down, that’s how they perceive it when others criticize them.

7. They always have an excuse

Along with playing the victim, narcissists always have an excuse when they screw up. If they made a typo on a report, it was probably because the keyboard got stuck or the spellcheck didn’t catch the mistake. If they don’t turn something in on time, it’s because they were swamped with all the other work they had to do. Let me emphasize this point again: when other people mess up, narcissists don’t accept any excuse at all. Only they live a hard life, after all.

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8. They take everything personally

Narcissists take everything someone says as a personal attack. When their boss gives them criticism that’s supposed to be constructive, narcissists will (of course) have some excuse. They will wonder why the boss didn’t yell at another colleague for doing the same thing (when in actuality they probably did — just in private). They’ll also think people are “out to get them,” and have some personal vendetta against them. They don’t realize that their boss is criticizing their performance at their job, which they get paid to do. It has nothing to do with how the boss feels about them personally, but the narcissist will always take it that way.

9. They leave a trail of destruction

Narcissists don’t usually last too long at jobs. Since they feel entitled, and at the same time feel like everyone’s out to get them, they’ll cut and run from a job the minute they don’t see any chance of advancement, or when they get the feeling their boss hates them. Before they get to that point; however, they’ll usually stop performing well at their job, and let everyone else around them pick up the slack. When they leave, they also leave behind a ton of projects half-finished. This sets the company back even farther. And of course, since they’re gone, they won’t even worry about it.

10. They don’t see themselves as narcissists

Narcissists don’t even know how full of themselves they are. They think everyone operates the same way, which is why they feel so personally attacked all the time. Since they fail to acknowledge their own shortcomings and weaknesses, they will never change. In their eyes, they’re perfect, and everyone else around them are the ones who need to be fixed.

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Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

How to Be Happy at Work and Find Fulfillment in Your Career

If you’re going to spend 1/3 of our life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

Trust me, I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you because I was there too. Before implementing the tips below, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

1. Discover the root(s) of the problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

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So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

2. Practice gratitude for an instant uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?[1]

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

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For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

3. Take meaningful time for yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

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No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

4. Get productive and feel accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

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Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The bottom line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

The only question is — which tip will you try first?

Featured photo credit: Ellyot via unsplash.com

Reference

[1]Psychology Today: The Healing Power of Gratitude

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