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10 Signs You’re Working With A Narcissist

10 Signs You’re Working With A Narcissist

Working alongside a narcissist can be annoying at the very least, and at worst can actually impede a company’s progress. The trick to dealing with an egocentric individual is to identify them for what they are, and not allow their behavior to affect you. It’s definitely easier said than done. However, if you allow them to get under your skin, not only will your work suffer, but other aspects of your life will as well.

Narcissists exhibit the following traits. If you notice any of your coworkers acting in any these ways, stay away from them as best you can.

1. They appear likable at fist

Narcissists are good at putting on a decent show for the public. They come off as friendly, gentle, and charismatic. However, this behavior is only a front. You’ll see their true personality come out during stressful situations when things aren’t going so smoothly. When someone else messes up, they’ll be the first to let them know. They also won’t accept any excuse. When a narcissist lets his true identity show, it will throw your entire perception of him for a loop. I’m not saying you should be wary of all polite and respectful individuals, but do be sure to notice how these people handle certain situations.

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2. They talk a big game

Narcissists will always talk up how good they are, and how much they’ve accomplished in life. They rarely give credit to the people who have helped them along the way. They act as if everything that’s come to them in life was through their efforts and abilities alone. Though it can be nauseating, the worst thing you can do is call a narcissist out when they’re going on and on about themselves. That’ll just make them go deeper into detail about how awesome they are.

3. They drop names

Narcissists also seem to know all the most important people in the industry and community. Whenever they have a story about happy hour, they’ll be sure to tell you exactly who was there, especially if they know that you don’t know who that person is. Subconsciously, they want you to be intimidated by the fact that they know so many people. In actuality, they most likely just engaged in boring small talk with all the people they listed, and probably didn’t even enjoy themselves. However, they’ll pretend as if you missed out because you weren’t important enough to be there.

4. They’re entitled

Narcissists think they’re above everyone else for no other reason than they are who they are. If a promotion is coming up, they’ll convince everyone around them that they’ll be the one moving up, seeing as they’ve put so much effort into their work lately. Of course, they take no notice of all the hard work other people have done. They certainly don’t give credit where credit is due (except to themselves, naturally). The best way to deal with a narcissist with a sense of entitlement is to (hopefully) get that promotion yourself through your own hard work and dedication.

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5. They play the victim

Of course, if you get the promotion, they’ll be the first to point out that it was probably because you invited the boss to your house for dinner that one time (even if they’d done it before as well). Narcissists will always have some sob story to rationalize their shortcomings, and will try to make you feel bad for them. They don’t take the time to realize that everyone faces hardships, and nobody has an easy life. There’s nothing you can do for them here. Narcissists will always see themselves as a victim of their circumstances.

6. They hate criticism

It should be obvious by now that narcissists think they can do no wrong. So when someone critiques their performance, they take it as an insult. They rarely use this constructive advice to better their performance. In their eyes, the other person simply doesn’t know what he’s talking about, so why should they change? Of course, they’ll be the first person to criticize someone else for a shoddy performance. They will do this out of spite. rather than to be constructive. Because their use of criticism is to put others down, that’s how they perceive it when others criticize them.

7. They always have an excuse

Along with playing the victim, narcissists always have an excuse when they screw up. If they made a typo on a report, it was probably because the keyboard got stuck or the spellcheck didn’t catch the mistake. If they don’t turn something in on time, it’s because they were swamped with all the other work they had to do. Let me emphasize this point again: when other people mess up, narcissists don’t accept any excuse at all. Only they live a hard life, after all.

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8. They take everything personally

Narcissists take everything someone says as a personal attack. When their boss gives them criticism that’s supposed to be constructive, narcissists will (of course) have some excuse. They will wonder why the boss didn’t yell at another colleague for doing the same thing (when in actuality they probably did — just in private). They’ll also think people are “out to get them,” and have some personal vendetta against them. They don’t realize that their boss is criticizing their performance at their job, which they get paid to do. It has nothing to do with how the boss feels about them personally, but the narcissist will always take it that way.

9. They leave a trail of destruction

Narcissists don’t usually last too long at jobs. Since they feel entitled, and at the same time feel like everyone’s out to get them, they’ll cut and run from a job the minute they don’t see any chance of advancement, or when they get the feeling their boss hates them. Before they get to that point; however, they’ll usually stop performing well at their job, and let everyone else around them pick up the slack. When they leave, they also leave behind a ton of projects half-finished. This sets the company back even farther. And of course, since they’re gone, they won’t even worry about it.

10. They don’t see themselves as narcissists

Narcissists don’t even know how full of themselves they are. They think everyone operates the same way, which is why they feel so personally attacked all the time. Since they fail to acknowledge their own shortcomings and weaknesses, they will never change. In their eyes, they’re perfect, and everyone else around them are the ones who need to be fixed.

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Featured photo credit: Flickrr via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Matt Duczeminski

A passionate writer who shares lifestlye tips on Lifehack

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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