“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Stop for a minute and think about the company you keep. Do they represent the direction you want to go? Are they inspiring you to be a better version of yourself? Do they support your personal growth?
This the Law of Averages.
In all probability, the average of your group will take influence. So, if you are hanging with 4 broke friends, guess what, you’ll be the 5th…eventually.
Like attracts like.
If your friends don’t value ways to create more income for themselves and how they spend their money, you more than likely don’t either.
If they don’t mind going through life leisurely and not hold themselves accountable to their goals, you might have some of the same viewpoints.Advertising
We naturally hang out with people we feel most comfortable with, as we should. I wouldn’t want to hang out with a group that made me feel inadequate?! The convenient middle ground, however, is individuals who accept you as you are but require more from you.
You may know these type of individuals already. You know the one. Whenever you complain to them, they want to come up with solutions. Or the annoying friend who will ask you to go to the gym with them, and tell you all the health challenges they’re trying, just so you can get serious about life.
Those friends who will call you out, for you to step it up because they’re stepping it up. The ones we associate with do influence our way of thinking, our self-esteem and impact our decision making. These are vitally important to manage when it comes to creating a vision for yourself and direction towards success. Those friends want to see you win, just like them. We need cheerleaders and we need coaches.
If our friends can be both, we’ve struck gold!
Having a hard time getting into a social circle that reflects where you want to be? Here are a few ways to get into the right mindset, attract it and jump into finding those friends immediately.
1. Take Inventory of You
Sorry, but before we can expect more from others, we need to expect more from ourselves. In order to upgrade your social circle, you will have to raise your status – there is no way around this. Decisive leaders, wouldn’t keep company with someone who is unable to make up their mind about lunch. Leaders hang out with other leaders.Advertising
Begin to position yourself as someone who is decisive, coordinated and knowledgeable.
Whomever you seek to be in the same circles with, you will need to acknowledge the skill sets you currently do not have and work towards acquiring and improving them. This will open doorways to deeper conversations; then let your personality seal the deal.
2. Listen to Podcasts of Interest
What interests you? Where do you need to increase your knowledge base? What is your passion and focus?
There are tons of Podcast on pretty much anything. Focus on the Podcasts that are connected to your passion and will teach you new things. This leads to a broader knowledge base and igniting speaking topics to attract the people you want to connect with!
Listening to a Podcast on your commute to work or on your down time can open you up to new ways of thinking, ideas and introduce you to the kind of people you want to attach yourself to. When you become clear on who you want to connect with, it will become easier to decipher who you don’t. Listening in a couple times a week based on topics of personal growth will eventually get you there.
Check Out Stitcher Radio to select a Podcast of your interest.
3. Use Social Media to Your Benefit
Follow the kind of person you see yourself as & the things you see yourself doing in the future. (Using the newsfeed’s of Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.) Those social sites are more than connecting with who you already know. If you love how a certain celebrity, business person or influential figure does their thing, hit like, get notifications or follow them. Keep updated on what they’re doing, how they do it and how they think. Most people are more open to sharing their personal lives on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.Advertising
They are people just like us, who like to use these tools also to connect. This is an opportunity to reach out & be in the same social circle with them.
Doing this will fill up your timeline with things you’re about, believe and see yourself doing. This will auto program your brain to see more of it in the world and seek it out. If in your timeline you constantly see people talking about Housewives of *enter city here* or another posting of the Kardashian adventures. The vision you have for yourself will become blurry. Make it crystal clear, when you log into sites you already spend most of your waking time on with images, words and quotes that represent you and your journey.
You have the control to decide who takes up space on your timeline.
Join Online Groups
If you don’t know this already, there are private Facebook communities. You can usually find the quality ones through a paid program or by signing up to someone’s mailing list. Here’s how you go about it: follow the inspirational people on your preferred social media platform and when they put out something that is of huge interest to you, join their mailing list to get more info.
Usually, these public figures have private groups of more like-minded individuals. Jackpot! It’s almost like a secret society. Now you are immediately connected to an amazing group of people. Within the same interest you’re pursuing, who are either chasing the same dream or have the same ambitions. You get instant access to a community that will share their personal stories, tips of what they did in different situations and a resource to ask questions and get answers to.
A space where people genuinely want to help.
Once you start joining conversations and offering your own expertise, you will hit it off with someone and maybe even become bestie’s. Who know’s where this will lead…Advertising
If you’re more of a face to face kind of person, check out Meetup.com.
4. Put Your Own Thoughts Out There
Let the right people find you! Brand yourself and who you are as an individual and they will come.
Start a blog and post regularly on social media to draw individuals in. Those who hear your message and will relate to it. Add your expertise to the world and create value. Once you speak frequently and knowledgeably about a subject, you will garner a following and people will seek you out to get more of what it is you bring to the table.
Create more allies, friends and connection all by stating really loudly and consistently what you’re about.
Pro Tip: Find the platform you are a creative genius on. Is it Facebook, where you can share longer post about your crazy inspirational stories that people connect with? Is it Instagram, where you can share your baking wins, travel adventures or just ‘a day in the life’ pictures? Is it Twitter, where you can fill the need to be a part of multiple dialogs to add your micro gems of knowledge? Choose your space and stick with it!
5. Cool People, Know Cool People
Who’da’ thunk?! To connect with the circle you already have. They may know someone, who knows someone, who is doing what you want to do. Use what you got! Sometimes you don’t even have to search far at all for a circle of friends who get you. You may even reconnect to a friend in the past, one who has grown into different interests than when you originally knew them.
Do some background work and check out your friends connections on LinkedIn and/or Facebook, see who you would love to get an introduction to — it’s not creeping.
Reconnect with your current network. Let your connections know what you’re up to and this, for sure, will help upgrade your social circle!
Published on May 20, 2019
How to Prevent Inaction from Leading to Regret
When you think of this construct, where do you see your time being spent?
As William Shakespeare famously wrote “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me…”
Have you used your time wisely? Are you where you want to be?
Or do you have unfinished goals to attain… places you want to be, things you still need to do?
The hard truth is, that time once passed cannot be replaced–which is why it is common to hear people say that one should not squander time doing nothing, or delay certain decisions for later. More often than not, the biggest blocker from reaching our goals is often inaction – which is essentially doing nothing, rather than doing something.
There are many reasons why we may not do something. Most often it boils down to adequate time. We may feel we don’t have enough time, or that it’s never quite the right time to pursue our goals.
Maybe next month, or maybe next year…
And, before you know it, the time has passed and you’re still no where near achieving those goals you dream about. This inaction often leads to strong regret once we look at the situation through hindsight. So, take some time now to reflect on any goal(s) you may have in mind, or hidden at the back of your mind; and, think about how you can truly start working on them now, and not later.
So, how do you start?
Figure Out Your Purpose (Your Main Goal)
The first important step is to figure out your purpose, or your main goal.
What is it that you’re after in life? And, are there any barriers preventing you from reaching your goal? These are good questions to ask when it comes to figuring out how (and for what purpose) you are spending your time.
Your purpose will guide you, and it will ensure your time spent is within the bounds of what you actually want to accomplish.
A good amount of research has been done on how we as humans develop and embrace long-term and highly meaningful goals in our lives. So much so, that having a purpose has connections to reduced stroke, and heart attack. It turns out, our desire to accomplish goals actually has an evolutionary connection–especially goals with a greater purpose to them. This is because a greater purpose often helps both the individual, and our species as a whole, survive.
Knowing why it is you’re doing something is important; and, when you do, it will be easier to budget your time and effort into pursuing after those milestones or tasks that will lead to the accomplishment of your main goal.
Assess Your Current Time Spent
Next comes the actual time usage. Once you know what your main goal is, you’ll want to make the most of the time you have now. It’s good to know how you’re currently spending your time, so that you can start making improvements and easily assess what can stay and what can go in your day to day routine.
For just one day, ideally on a day when you’d like to be more productive, I encourage you to record a time journal, down to the quarter hour if you can manage. You may be quite surprised at how little things—such as checking social media, answering emails that could wait, or idling at the water cooler or office pantry —can add up to a lot of wasted time.
To get you started, I recommend you check out this quick self assessment to assess your current productivity: Want To Know How Much You’re Getting Done In A Day?
Tricks to Tackle Distractions
Once you’ve assessed how you’re currently spending your time, I hope you won’t be in for too big of a shock when you see just how big of an impact distractions and time wasters are in your life.
Every time your mind wanders from your work, it takes an average of 25 minutes and 26 seconds to get into focus again. That’s almost half an hour of precious time every time you entertain a distraction!
Which is why it’s important to learn how to focus, and tackle distractions effectively. Here’s how to do it:
1. Set Time Aside for Focusing
One way to stay focused is to set focused sessions for yourself. During a focused session, you should let people know that you won’t be responding unless it’s a real emergency.
Set your messaging apps and shared calendars as “busy” to reduce interruptions. Think of these sessions as one on one time with yourself so that you can truly focus on what’s important, without external distractions coming your way.
2. Beware of Emails
Emails may sound harmless, but they can come into our inbox continuously throughout the day, and it’s tempting to respond to them as we receive them. Especially if you’re one to check your notifications frequently.
Instead of checking them every time a new notification sounds, set a specific time to deal with your emails at one go. This will no doubt increase your productivity as you’re dealing with emails one after the other, rather than interrupting your focus on another project each time an email comes in.
Besides switching off your email notifications so as not to get distracted, you could also install a Chrome extension called Block Site that helps to stop Gmail notifications coming through at specific times, making it easier for you to manage these subtle daily distractions.
3. Let Technology Help
As much as we are getting increasingly distracted because of technology, we can’t deny it’s many advantages. So instead of feeling controlled by technology, why not make use of disabling options that the devices offer?
Turn off email alerts, app notifications, or set your phone to go straight to voicemail and even create auto-responses to incoming text messages. There are also apps like Forrest that help to increase your productivity by rewarding you each time you focus well, which encourages you to ignore your phone.
4. Schedule Time to Get Distracted
Just as important as scheduling focus time, is scheduling break times. Balance is always key, so when you start scheduling focused sessions, you should also intentionally pen down some break time slots for your mind to relax.
This is because the brain isn’t created to sustain long periods of focus and concentration. The average attention span for an adult is between 15 and 40 minutes. After this time, your likelihood of distractions get stronger and you’ll become less motivated.
So while taking a mental break might seem unproductive, in the long run it makes your brain work more efficiently, and you’ll end up getting more work done overall.
Time is in Your Hands
At the end of the day, we all have a certain amount of time to go all out to pursue our heart’s desires. Whatever your goals are, the time you have now, is in your hands to make them come true.
You simply need to start somewhere, instead of allowing inaction waste your time away, leaving you with regret later on. With a main goal or purpose in mind, you can be on the right track to attaining your desired outcomes.
Being aware of how you spend your time and learning how to tackle common distractions can help boost you forward in completing what’s necessary to reach your most desired goals.
So what are you waiting for?
Featured photo credit: Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash via unsplash.com