“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Stop for a minute and think about the company you keep. Do they represent the direction you want to go? Are they inspiring you to be a better version of yourself? Do they support your personal growth?
This the Law of Averages.
In all probability, the average of your group will take influence. So, if you are hanging with 4 broke friends, guess what, you’ll be the 5th…eventually.
Like attracts like.
If your friends don’t value ways to create more income for themselves and how they spend their money, you more than likely don’t either.
If they don’t mind going through life leisurely and not hold themselves accountable to their goals, you might have some of the same viewpoints.Advertising
We naturally hang out with people we feel most comfortable with, as we should. I wouldn’t want to hang out with a group that made me feel inadequate?! The convenient middle ground, however, is individuals who accept you as you are but require more from you.
You may know these type of individuals already. You know the one. Whenever you complain to them, they want to come up with solutions. Or the annoying friend who will ask you to go to the gym with them, and tell you all the health challenges they’re trying, just so you can get serious about life.
Those friends who will call you out, for you to step it up because they’re stepping it up. The ones we associate with do influence our way of thinking, our self-esteem and impact our decision making. These are vitally important to manage when it comes to creating a vision for yourself and direction towards success. Those friends want to see you win, just like them. We need cheerleaders and we need coaches.
If our friends can be both, we’ve struck gold!
Having a hard time getting into a social circle that reflects where you want to be? Here are a few ways to get into the right mindset, attract it and jump into finding those friends immediately.
1. Take Inventory of You
Sorry, but before we can expect more from others, we need to expect more from ourselves. In order to upgrade your social circle, you will have to raise your status – there is no way around this. Decisive leaders, wouldn’t keep company with someone who is unable to make up their mind about lunch. Leaders hang out with other leaders.Advertising
Begin to position yourself as someone who is decisive, coordinated and knowledgeable.
Whomever you seek to be in the same circles with, you will need to acknowledge the skill sets you currently do not have and work towards acquiring and improving them. This will open doorways to deeper conversations; then let your personality seal the deal.
2. Listen to Podcasts of Interest
What interests you? Where do you need to increase your knowledge base? What is your passion and focus?
There are tons of Podcast on pretty much anything. Focus on the Podcasts that are connected to your passion and will teach you new things. This leads to a broader knowledge base and igniting speaking topics to attract the people you want to connect with!
Listening to a Podcast on your commute to work or on your down time can open you up to new ways of thinking, ideas and introduce you to the kind of people you want to attach yourself to. When you become clear on who you want to connect with, it will become easier to decipher who you don’t. Listening in a couple times a week based on topics of personal growth will eventually get you there.
Check Out Stitcher Radio to select a Podcast of your interest.
3. Use Social Media to Your Benefit
Follow the kind of person you see yourself as & the things you see yourself doing in the future. (Using the newsfeed’s of Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.) Those social sites are more than connecting with who you already know. If you love how a certain celebrity, business person or influential figure does their thing, hit like, get notifications or follow them. Keep updated on what they’re doing, how they do it and how they think. Most people are more open to sharing their personal lives on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.Advertising
They are people just like us, who like to use these tools also to connect. This is an opportunity to reach out & be in the same social circle with them.
Doing this will fill up your timeline with things you’re about, believe and see yourself doing. This will auto program your brain to see more of it in the world and seek it out. If in your timeline you constantly see people talking about Housewives of *enter city here* or another posting of the Kardashian adventures. The vision you have for yourself will become blurry. Make it crystal clear, when you log into sites you already spend most of your waking time on with images, words and quotes that represent you and your journey.
You have the control to decide who takes up space on your timeline.
Join Online Groups
If you don’t know this already, there are private Facebook communities. You can usually find the quality ones through a paid program or by signing up to someone’s mailing list. Here’s how you go about it: follow the inspirational people on your preferred social media platform and when they put out something that is of huge interest to you, join their mailing list to get more info.
Usually, these public figures have private groups of more like-minded individuals. Jackpot! It’s almost like a secret society. Now you are immediately connected to an amazing group of people. Within the same interest you’re pursuing, who are either chasing the same dream or have the same ambitions. You get instant access to a community that will share their personal stories, tips of what they did in different situations and a resource to ask questions and get answers to.
A space where people genuinely want to help.
Once you start joining conversations and offering your own expertise, you will hit it off with someone and maybe even become bestie’s. Who know’s where this will lead…Advertising
If you’re more of a face to face kind of person, check out Meetup.com.
4. Put Your Own Thoughts Out There
Let the right people find you! Brand yourself and who you are as an individual and they will come.
Start a blog and post regularly on social media to draw individuals in. Those who hear your message and will relate to it. Add your expertise to the world and create value. Once you speak frequently and knowledgeably about a subject, you will garner a following and people will seek you out to get more of what it is you bring to the table.
Create more allies, friends and connection all by stating really loudly and consistently what you’re about.
Pro Tip: Find the platform you are a creative genius on. Is it Facebook, where you can share longer post about your crazy inspirational stories that people connect with? Is it Instagram, where you can share your baking wins, travel adventures or just ‘a day in the life’ pictures? Is it Twitter, where you can fill the need to be a part of multiple dialogs to add your micro gems of knowledge? Choose your space and stick with it!
5. Cool People, Know Cool People
Who’da’ thunk?! To connect with the circle you already have. They may know someone, who knows someone, who is doing what you want to do. Use what you got! Sometimes you don’t even have to search far at all for a circle of friends who get you. You may even reconnect to a friend in the past, one who has grown into different interests than when you originally knew them.
Do some background work and check out your friends connections on LinkedIn and/or Facebook, see who you would love to get an introduction to — it’s not creeping.
Reconnect with your current network. Let your connections know what you’re up to and this, for sure, will help upgrade your social circle!
Published on March 19, 2019
How Your Attitude Determines Your Success
Do you remember the last time you faced a major setback–when you felt so low, that nothing seemed to make you happy? No matter how hard you tried, you just felt like the world was against you. Perhaps it was a bad relationship, or the loss of a loved one… maybe something bad happened at work? Whatever it may be, could you recall how your attitude was towards that situation?
Often when we’re caught in an unhappy situation, we feel limited and sometimes trapped. We want to get out of it as quickly as we can, but it’s never quite that simple.
Unfortunately, some people can remain in that terrible situation for weeks, months or even years; while others may come out strong and ready to start over–or continue from where they left off–fairly quickly.
So what sets these two groups apart?
The answer is their attitude.
Attitude is everything when it comes to achieving a goal, and tackling a setback or problem.
When you’re able to have a positive mindset, you’ll be able to break free of your limitations that are holding you back.
A positive attitude also goes a long way in ensuring you come out victorious from whatever limitations that were holding you back before. It transforms not just your mental state, but your physical and emotional well being. It is the key to lasting total transformation.
Positive Attitude Brings About Positive Health
When you’re stuck in a rut, often the first thoughts that run through your head are negative, thus your outlook likely becomes pessimistic. But, if you can transform those thoughts into more positive ones, then you’re on your way to talking yourself out of that rut, which allows you to move forward.
Of course, positive thinking doesn’t mean ignoring all the bad or unpleasant feelings altogether. It just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way–instead of taking everything as a victim to negative circumstances, you see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Be aware of self talk!
These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self talk comes from logic and reason, while other self talk may arise from misconceptions that you create. Others could come from external sources such as negative people around you, or messages from the media.
The key is to surround yourself with positive influences that can help turn those negative thoughts into positive, more productive actions.You’ll not only feel better about the situation, but in the long run, positive thinking can lower your levels of distress and depression and give you better coping skills during hardships.
Researchers studying the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health have also found that positive thinking may provide increased life span, better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease, and even greater resistance to the common cold!
It’s unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits, but one theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body.
It’s also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don’t smoke or drink alcohol in excess.
Suffering is Inevitable, So It’s Best to Accept It
Now, one thing that everyone goes through at some point, is suffering. It’s a harsh reality, yet you can’t actually avoid it. We experience suffering as the result of unhappiness, fear, anger, loss or frustration. In fact, it would be hard to even imagine the feeling of happiness if we never experienced suffering! How would we ever compare it?
So instead of wallowing in sorrow about the suffering you have endured, take the suffering as an opportunity for change. Did you get laid off from your job? Perhaps this would be a good time to re-assess your career goals.
Rather than feeling negative and stuck, use your time and energy to find opportunities which will put you ahead. With the right attitude, anything can seem possible.
This may sound crazy, but suffering is the secret to being successful!
Here’s what I mean. It’s impossible to think of new ideas or understand new experiences without stepping outside of your comfort zone. Anyone who has met great successes has also faced many failures, as nobody wins on every try.
To propel you toward success, find a way to track your progress and to set and celebrate small benchmarks. It may be helpful to conduct a weekly review to assess where you are and acknowledge all of the small wins of the week. Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is an achievement; so, be sure to take note of them.
Tracking your progress is also a great way to find and mitigate triggers and hindrances that impede your progress. The point is, you’re making progress; even if it feels like suffering, you can see that it’s leading you to joy.
Remember, don’t compare yourself to others. Only compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Each step you make towards progress is making you a better version of you.
Gratitude Goes a Long Way in Shaping Attitude
Now, this may seem difficult to do when you’re already feeling down, but having gratitude is a very useful when you’re trying to navigate your way out of a setback. Being grateful for existing accomplishments and the supports in your life will help you see them more clearly, build your own confidence, and give you a better overall outlook on what your limitations really are and what you have to do to overcome them.
With a grateful attitude, you limit the damage of negative influences, and strengthen the impact of positive ones.
Being grateful, even during the toughest of times, steers your attitude towards a more positive one, allowing you to get back on your feet much more quickly. Many studies done on gratitude have shown positive results for people who practice regularly, such as improvement in relationships and in mental health. There’s even studies that show higher motivation in work settings due to a simple ‘thank you’ from managers to their subordinates.
Believe in Yourself and Your Truth
This is often easier said than done, but is also the most empowering truth to overcoming your setbacks and limitations in life.
Many people find it hard to keep a positive attitude during tough times because they lack inner confidence. They doubt their abilities because of the ‘failure’ that they’re experiencing, and don’t think that they can rise above again.
But, confidence doesn’t just come from talent, luck or easy opportunity. Confidence comes from overcoming difficulties and facing your fears head on.
Confidence is a result of getting out of your comfort zone. The more you do this, the more confident you’ll be, and the more positive your attitude will be. Confidence will help you see your goals more clearly, find your strengths within, reach your goals and overcome your limitations much more quickly.
Here’s a quick story about my own struggles helping me get ahead:
When I first started Lifehack, it took a long time to gain a solid readership. Just getting 100 visitors was a challenge and took a good bit of time. I had great ambitions for this site, yet it seemed like I was doomed to fail. I received plenty of criticism, too. Some people thought that the world didn’t need yet another self help site, others offered the opinion that there was something wrong with the idea itself and I was making a mistake.
It was hard for me not to listen to them and, at some times, agree. But, persistence is key, and in the end I chose to believe in my truth.
I worked tirelessly changing the site layout, restructuring articles, and making the site more user friendly. Slowly, I expanded to a team with the hiring of some extremely dynamic and talented people. With each determined effort, the site grew in popularity, and a few years later, we had influenced millions–and continue to do so.
Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and facing every challenge head on were the greatest contributing factors to increasing my confidence. So welcome the challenges that come; don’t avoid them, as they’re all opportunities in disguise to feed your growth.
Your Attitude Sets the Tone for Success
Do you see the importance of having a positive attitude? It is so much more than a mindset or state of mind. Your attitude sets the tone for every action and behavior that follows after, and that will determine how long it takes for you to break free from your current circumstance.
So if you’re currently in an unhappy situation, why not give it a try and look at things from a more positive outlook? As mentioned, not only does having a positive attitude bring about favorable outcomes, it also brings about positive health in the long run.
Embracing hardship as it is, and using it as a learning experience to grow, will also make you stronger. And, whether you’re going through good or bad times, practicing gratitude will no doubt help to limit the damage of negative influences, and strengthen the impact of positive ones.
Lastly, in any circumstance, you are your greatest barrier to success, which is why it’s important to always believe in yourself!
You will always have the power to be in control of your situation because your attitude is determined by you. So start harnessing all that positive thinking to turn those limitations into strengths!
Featured photo credit: Photo by Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash via unsplash.com