“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Stop for a minute and think about the company you keep. Do they represent the direction you want to go? Are they inspiring you to be a better version of yourself? Do they support your personal growth?
This the Law of Averages.
In all probability, the average of your group will take influence. So, if you are hanging with 4 broke friends, guess what, you’ll be the 5th…eventually.
Like attracts like.
If your friends don’t value ways to create more income for themselves and how they spend their money, you more than likely don’t either.
If they don’t mind going through life leisurely and not hold themselves accountable to their goals, you might have some of the same viewpoints.Advertising
We naturally hang out with people we feel most comfortable with, as we should. I wouldn’t want to hang out with a group that made me feel inadequate?! The convenient middle ground, however, is individuals who accept you as you are but require more from you.
You may know these type of individuals already. You know the one. Whenever you complain to them, they want to come up with solutions. Or the annoying friend who will ask you to go to the gym with them, and tell you all the health challenges they’re trying, just so you can get serious about life.
Those friends who will call you out, for you to step it up because they’re stepping it up. The ones we associate with do influence our way of thinking, our self-esteem and impact our decision making. These are vitally important to manage when it comes to creating a vision for yourself and direction towards success. Those friends want to see you win, just like them. We need cheerleaders and we need coaches.
If our friends can be both, we’ve struck gold!
Having a hard time getting into a social circle that reflects where you want to be? Here are a few ways to get into the right mindset, attract it and jump into finding those friends immediately.
1. Take Inventory of You
Sorry, but before we can expect more from others, we need to expect more from ourselves. In order to upgrade your social circle, you will have to raise your status – there is no way around this. Decisive leaders, wouldn’t keep company with someone who is unable to make up their mind about lunch. Leaders hang out with other leaders.Advertising
Begin to position yourself as someone who is decisive, coordinated and knowledgeable.
Whomever you seek to be in the same circles with, you will need to acknowledge the skill sets you currently do not have and work towards acquiring and improving them. This will open doorways to deeper conversations; then let your personality seal the deal.
2. Listen to Podcasts of Interest
What interests you? Where do you need to increase your knowledge base? What is your passion and focus?
There are tons of Podcast on pretty much anything. Focus on the Podcasts that are connected to your passion and will teach you new things. This leads to a broader knowledge base and igniting speaking topics to attract the people you want to connect with!
Listening to a Podcast on your commute to work or on your down time can open you up to new ways of thinking, ideas and introduce you to the kind of people you want to attach yourself to. When you become clear on who you want to connect with, it will become easier to decipher who you don’t. Listening in a couple times a week based on topics of personal growth will eventually get you there.
Check Out Stitcher Radio to select a Podcast of your interest.
3. Use Social Media to Your Benefit
Follow the kind of person you see yourself as & the things you see yourself doing in the future. (Using the newsfeed’s of Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.) Those social sites are more than connecting with who you already know. If you love how a certain celebrity, business person or influential figure does their thing, hit like, get notifications or follow them. Keep updated on what they’re doing, how they do it and how they think. Most people are more open to sharing their personal lives on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.Advertising
They are people just like us, who like to use these tools also to connect. This is an opportunity to reach out & be in the same social circle with them.
Doing this will fill up your timeline with things you’re about, believe and see yourself doing. This will auto program your brain to see more of it in the world and seek it out. If in your timeline you constantly see people talking about Housewives of *enter city here* or another posting of the Kardashian adventures. The vision you have for yourself will become blurry. Make it crystal clear, when you log into sites you already spend most of your waking time on with images, words and quotes that represent you and your journey.
You have the control to decide who takes up space on your timeline.
Join Online Groups
If you don’t know this already, there are private Facebook communities. You can usually find the quality ones through a paid program or by signing up to someone’s mailing list. Here’s how you go about it: follow the inspirational people on your preferred social media platform and when they put out something that is of huge interest to you, join their mailing list to get more info.
Usually, these public figures have private groups of more like-minded individuals. Jackpot! It’s almost like a secret society. Now you are immediately connected to an amazing group of people. Within the same interest you’re pursuing, who are either chasing the same dream or have the same ambitions. You get instant access to a community that will share their personal stories, tips of what they did in different situations and a resource to ask questions and get answers to.
A space where people genuinely want to help.
Once you start joining conversations and offering your own expertise, you will hit it off with someone and maybe even become bestie’s. Who know’s where this will lead…Advertising
If you’re more of a face to face kind of person, check out Meetup.com.
4. Put Your Own Thoughts Out There
Let the right people find you! Brand yourself and who you are as an individual and they will come.
Start a blog and post regularly on social media to draw individuals in. Those who hear your message and will relate to it. Add your expertise to the world and create value. Once you speak frequently and knowledgeably about a subject, you will garner a following and people will seek you out to get more of what it is you bring to the table.
Create more allies, friends and connection all by stating really loudly and consistently what you’re about.
Pro Tip: Find the platform you are a creative genius on. Is it Facebook, where you can share longer post about your crazy inspirational stories that people connect with? Is it Instagram, where you can share your baking wins, travel adventures or just ‘a day in the life’ pictures? Is it Twitter, where you can fill the need to be a part of multiple dialogs to add your micro gems of knowledge? Choose your space and stick with it!
5. Cool People, Know Cool People
Who’da’ thunk?! To connect with the circle you already have. They may know someone, who knows someone, who is doing what you want to do. Use what you got! Sometimes you don’t even have to search far at all for a circle of friends who get you. You may even reconnect to a friend in the past, one who has grown into different interests than when you originally knew them.
Do some background work and check out your friends connections on LinkedIn and/or Facebook, see who you would love to get an introduction to — it’s not creeping.
Reconnect with your current network. Let your connections know what you’re up to and this, for sure, will help upgrade your social circle!
Last Updated on November 5, 2020
How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck
Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?
You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. A rut can manifest as a productivity vacuum and be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. Is it possible to learn how to get out of a rut?
Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, or a student, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:
1. Work on Small Tasks
When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks that have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.
Whenever I finish doing that, I generate positive momentum, which I bring forward to my work.
If you have a large long-term goal you can’t wait to get started on, break it down into smaller objectives first. This will help each piece feel manageable and help you feel like you’re moving closer to your goal.
You can learn more about goals vs objectives here.
2. Take a Break From Your Work Desk
When you want to learn how to get out of a rut, get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the bathroom, walk around the office, or go out and get a snack. According to research, your productivity is best when you work for 50 minutes to an hour and then take a 15-20 minute break.
Your mind may be too bogged down and will need some airing. By walking away from your computer, you may create extra space for new ideas that were hiding behind high stress levels.
3. Upgrade Yourself
Take the down time to upgrade your knowledge and skills. Go to a seminar, read up on a subject of interest, or start learning a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.
The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?
4. Talk to a Friend
Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while. Relying on a support system is a great way to work on self-care when you’re learning how to get out of a rut.
Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.
5. Forget About Trying to Be Perfect
If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionism can lead you to fear failure, which can ultimate hinder you even more if you’re trying to find motivation to work on something new.
If you allow your perfectionism to fade, soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come, and then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.
Learn more about How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up.
6. Paint a Vision to Work Towards
If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.
Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the ultimate goal or vision you have for your life?
Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action. You can use the power of visualization or even create a vision board if you like to have something to physically remind you of your goals.
7. Read a Book (or Blog)
The things we read are like food for our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great material.
Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. You can also stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs and follow writers who inspire and motivate you. Find something that interests you and start reading.
8. Have a Quick Nap
If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.
One Harvard study found that “whether they took long naps or short naps, participants showed significant improvement on three of the four tests in the study’s cognitive-assessment battery”.
9. Remember Why You Are Doing This
Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.
What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall your inspiration, and perhaps even journal about it to make it feel more tangible.
10. Find Some Competition
When we are learning how to get out of a rut, there’s nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.
Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, and networking conventions can all inspire you to get a move on. However, don’t let this throw you back into your perfectionist tendencies or low self-esteem.
11. Go Exercise
Since you are not making headway at work, you might as well spend the time getting into shape and increasing dopamine levels. Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, or whatever type of exercise helps you start to feel better.
As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.
If you need ideas for a quick workout, check out the video below:
12. Take a Few Vacation Days
If you are stuck in a rut, it’s usually a sign that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.
Beyond the quick tips above, arrange one or two days to take off from work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax, do your favorite activities, and spend time with family members. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.
Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest.
More Tips to Help You Get out of a Rut
- How to Get Out of a Rut and Start Living the Life You Desire
- How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life
- How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up
Featured photo credit: Ashkan Forouzani via unsplash.com
|||^||Inc: For the Most Productive Workday, Science Says Make Sure to Do This|
|||^||The Washington Post: The Trappist monk whose calligraphy inspired Steve Jobs — and influenced Apple’s designs|
|||^||Virginia Law Weekly: Nap Your Way to Success|
|||^||Harvard Health Publishing: The benefits of napping|