“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Stop for a minute and think about the company you keep. Do they represent the direction you want to go? Are they inspiring you to be a better version of yourself? Do they support your personal growth?
This the Law of Averages.
In all probability, the average of your group will take influence. So, if you are hanging with 4 broke friends, guess what, you’ll be the 5th…eventually.
Like attracts like.
If your friends don’t value ways to create more income for themselves and how they spend their money, you more than likely don’t either.
If they don’t mind going through life leisurely and not hold themselves accountable to their goals, you might have some of the same viewpoints.Advertising
We naturally hang out with people we feel most comfortable with, as we should. I wouldn’t want to hang out with a group that made me feel inadequate?! The convenient middle ground, however, is individuals who accept you as you are but require more from you.
You may know these type of individuals already. You know the one. Whenever you complain to them, they want to come up with solutions. Or the annoying friend who will ask you to go to the gym with them, and tell you all the health challenges they’re trying, just so you can get serious about life.
Those friends who will call you out, for you to step it up because they’re stepping it up. The ones we associate with do influence our way of thinking, our self-esteem and impact our decision making. These are vitally important to manage when it comes to creating a vision for yourself and direction towards success. Those friends want to see you win, just like them. We need cheerleaders and we need coaches.
If our friends can be both, we’ve struck gold!
Having a hard time getting into a social circle that reflects where you want to be? Here are a few ways to get into the right mindset, attract it and jump into finding those friends immediately.
1. Take Inventory of You
Sorry, but before we can expect more from others, we need to expect more from ourselves. In order to upgrade your social circle, you will have to raise your status – there is no way around this. Decisive leaders, wouldn’t keep company with someone who is unable to make up their mind about lunch. Leaders hang out with other leaders.Advertising
Begin to position yourself as someone who is decisive, coordinated and knowledgeable.
Whomever you seek to be in the same circles with, you will need to acknowledge the skill sets you currently do not have and work towards acquiring and improving them. This will open doorways to deeper conversations; then let your personality seal the deal.
2. Listen to Podcasts of Interest
What interests you? Where do you need to increase your knowledge base? What is your passion and focus?
There are tons of Podcast on pretty much anything. Focus on the Podcasts that are connected to your passion and will teach you new things. This leads to a broader knowledge base and igniting speaking topics to attract the people you want to connect with!
Listening to a Podcast on your commute to work or on your down time can open you up to new ways of thinking, ideas and introduce you to the kind of people you want to attach yourself to. When you become clear on who you want to connect with, it will become easier to decipher who you don’t. Listening in a couple times a week based on topics of personal growth will eventually get you there.
Check Out Stitcher Radio to select a Podcast of your interest.
3. Use Social Media to Your Benefit
Follow the kind of person you see yourself as & the things you see yourself doing in the future. (Using the newsfeed’s of Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.) Those social sites are more than connecting with who you already know. If you love how a certain celebrity, business person or influential figure does their thing, hit like, get notifications or follow them. Keep updated on what they’re doing, how they do it and how they think. Most people are more open to sharing their personal lives on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram.Advertising
They are people just like us, who like to use these tools also to connect. This is an opportunity to reach out & be in the same social circle with them.
Doing this will fill up your timeline with things you’re about, believe and see yourself doing. This will auto program your brain to see more of it in the world and seek it out. If in your timeline you constantly see people talking about Housewives of *enter city here* or another posting of the Kardashian adventures. The vision you have for yourself will become blurry. Make it crystal clear, when you log into sites you already spend most of your waking time on with images, words and quotes that represent you and your journey.
You have the control to decide who takes up space on your timeline.
Join Online Groups
If you don’t know this already, there are private Facebook communities. You can usually find the quality ones through a paid program or by signing up to someone’s mailing list. Here’s how you go about it: follow the inspirational people on your preferred social media platform and when they put out something that is of huge interest to you, join their mailing list to get more info.
Usually, these public figures have private groups of more like-minded individuals. Jackpot! It’s almost like a secret society. Now you are immediately connected to an amazing group of people. Within the same interest you’re pursuing, who are either chasing the same dream or have the same ambitions. You get instant access to a community that will share their personal stories, tips of what they did in different situations and a resource to ask questions and get answers to.
A space where people genuinely want to help.
Once you start joining conversations and offering your own expertise, you will hit it off with someone and maybe even become bestie’s. Who know’s where this will lead…Advertising
If you’re more of a face to face kind of person, check out Meetup.com.
4. Put Your Own Thoughts Out There
Let the right people find you! Brand yourself and who you are as an individual and they will come.
Start a blog and post regularly on social media to draw individuals in. Those who hear your message and will relate to it. Add your expertise to the world and create value. Once you speak frequently and knowledgeably about a subject, you will garner a following and people will seek you out to get more of what it is you bring to the table.
Create more allies, friends and connection all by stating really loudly and consistently what you’re about.
Pro Tip: Find the platform you are a creative genius on. Is it Facebook, where you can share longer post about your crazy inspirational stories that people connect with? Is it Instagram, where you can share your baking wins, travel adventures or just ‘a day in the life’ pictures? Is it Twitter, where you can fill the need to be a part of multiple dialogs to add your micro gems of knowledge? Choose your space and stick with it!
5. Cool People, Know Cool People
Who’da’ thunk?! To connect with the circle you already have. They may know someone, who knows someone, who is doing what you want to do. Use what you got! Sometimes you don’t even have to search far at all for a circle of friends who get you. You may even reconnect to a friend in the past, one who has grown into different interests than when you originally knew them.
Do some background work and check out your friends connections on LinkedIn and/or Facebook, see who you would love to get an introduction to — it’s not creeping.
Reconnect with your current network. Let your connections know what you’re up to and this, for sure, will help upgrade your social circle!
Last Updated on July 16, 2019
6 Effective Ways to Enhance Your Problem Solving Skills
Have you ever thought of yourself as a problem solver? I’m guessing not. But in reality, we are constantly solving problems. And the better our problem solving skills are, the easier our lives are.
Problems arise in many shapes and forms. They can be mundane, everyday problems, or larger more complex problems:
What to have for dinner tonight?
Which route to take to work?
How to fix a project that’s running behind schedule?
How to change from an uninspiring job to a career you’re really passionate about?
Every day, you’ll be faced with at least one problem to solve. But it gets easier when you realize that problems are simply choices. There’s nothing ‘scary’ about them other than having to make a decision.
No matter what job you’re in, where you live, who your partner is, how many friends you have, you will be judged on your ability to solve problems. Because problems equal hassles for everyone concerned. And people don’t like hassle. So the more problems you can solve, the less hassle all-round, the happier people are with you. Everyone wins.
Why Are Problem Solving Skills Important?
Problem is something hard to understand or accomplish or deal with. It can be a task, a situation, or even a person. Problem solving involves methods and skills to find the best solutions to problems.
Problem solving is important because we all have decisions to make, and questions to answer in our lives. Amazing people like Eleanor Roosevelt, Steve Jobs, Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., are all great problems solvers. Good parents, teachers, doctors and waiters all have to be good at solving different sort of problems as well.
Problem solving skills are for our everyday lives.
How to Enhance Problem Solving Skills
Most people believe that you have to be very intelligent in order to be a good problem solver, but that’s not true.
You don’t have to be super smart to be a problem solver, you just need practice.
When you understand the different steps to solve a problem, you’ll be able to come up with great solutions.
1. Focus on the Solution, Not the Problem
Neuroscientists have proven that your brain cannot find solutions if you focus on the problem. This is because when you focus on the problem, you’re effectively feeding ‘negativity,’ which in turn activates negative emotions in the brain. These emotions block potential solutions.
I’m not saying you should ‘ignore the problem,’ instead, try to remain calm. It helps to first, acknowledge the problem; and then, move your focus to a solution-oriented mindset where you keep fixed on what the ‘answer’ could be, rather than lingering on ‘what went wrong’ and ‘who’s fault it is’.
2. Adapt 5 Whys to Clearly Define the Problem
5 Whys is a problem solving framework to help you get to the root of a problem.
By repeatedly asking the question “why” on a problem, you can dig into the root cause of a problem, and that’s how you can find the best solution to tackle the root problem once and for all. And it can go deeper than just asking why for five times.
If the problem is “always late to work”…
- Why am I late to work?
I always click the snooze button and just want to go on sleeping.
- Why do I want to go on sleeping?
I feel so tired in the morning.
- Why do I feel tired in the morning?
I slept late the night before, that’s why.
- Why did I sleep late?
I wasn’t sleepy after drinking coffee, and I just kept scrolling my Facebook feed and somehow I couldn’t stop.
- Why did I drink coffee?
Because I was too sleepy at work in the afternoon, not having enough sleep the night before.
So there you see, if you didn’t try to dig out the root of the problem, you may just set a few more alarms and have it beep every five minutes in the morning. But in fact, the problem you need to solve is to quit Facebook surfing endlessly at night so you’ll feel more energetic in the day time, and you won’t even need coffee.
3. Simplify Things
As human beings, we have a tendency to make things more complicated than they need to be! Try simplifying your problem by generalizing it.
Remove all the details and go back to the basics. Try looking for a really easy, obvious solution – you might be surprised at the results! And we all know that it’s often the simple things that are the most productive.
4. List out as Many Solutions as Possible
Try to come up with ‘ALL POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS’ – even if they seem ridiculous at first. It’s important you keep an open mind to boost creative thinking, which can trigger potential solutions.
Coming from 10 years in the corporate advertising industry, it is drummed into you that ‘No idea is a bad idea’ and this aids creative thinking in brainstorms and other problem-solving techniques.
Whatever you do, do not ridicule yourself for coming up with ‘stupid solutions’ as it’s often the crazy ideas that trigger other more viable solutions.
5. Think Laterally
Change the ‘direction’ of your thoughts by thinking laterally. Pay attention to the saying,
‘You cannot dig a hole in a different place by digging it deeper.”
Try to change your approach and look at things in a new way. You can try flipping your objective around and looking for a solution that is the polar opposite!
Even if it feels silly, a fresh and unique approach usually stimulates a fresh solution.
6. Use Language That Creates Possibility
Lead your thinking with phrases like ‘what if…’ and ‘imagine if…’ These terms open up our brains to think creatively and encourage solutions.
Avoid closed, negative language such as ‘I don’t think…’ or ‘But this is not right…’.
The Bottom Line
There’s nothing scary about a problem when you start to adapt my advice.
Try not to view problems as ‘scary’ things! If you think about what a problem really is, it’s really just feedback on your current situation.
Every problem is telling you that something is not currently working and that you need to find a new way around it.
So try to approach problems neutrally – without any judgment. Practice focusing on defining a problem, keep calm and not to make things too complicated.
More About Problem Solving
- How to Solve Any Problem Efficiently with 5 Whys (Step-By-Step Guide)
- 30 Tips to Rejuvenate Your Creativity
- The Power of Deep Thinking: Essence of Creativity
Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com
|||^||Planet of Success: Problem vs Solution Focused Thinking|