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10 Signs Of People Who Aren’t Ready For A Real Relationship

10 Signs Of People Who Aren’t Ready For A Real Relationship

Let’s face it, we all want something from a relationship. Yet some just want something casual and less committed than what may be the general expectation. It is important to identify certain signs that could mean the other person doesn’t want more out of a relationship than what is casual. Such clarity will help us avoid disappointment at the end.

1. They are not progressive about the relationship

A relationship is like a plant. It has to be nurtured to grow. Such evolution is what will lead it to solidity and certainty. However if an individual doesn’t see a relationship as progressive or developmental and is not willing to put energy into propelling a relationship into maturity then it is obvious the person is not ready for something real.

2. They prefer to take rather than to give

They are always after something, and these could be what they could benefit or take from the relationship rather than offer to it. They really do not want to make any sacrifices that could consume or make them more involved. Giving something to a relationship sucks to them while taking makes them feel they are in control.

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3. They have not built great relationships in the past

Let them stare at the mirror and tell you what they see. Chances are that they will tell you that they have been through so many casual relationships that they really can’t define or tell you what a real relationship means. Whether what they have engaged in the past was casual or broken, they have not put in so much energy in the past to make a relationship a success.

4. They are elusive

Whether in discussions or actions that are made to signal they are willing to be a part of a real relationship they will be elusive. They will appear vague about what they really want from a relationship. Truthfully they do not have a clarity about what they want and being elusive about it keeps such commitment at bay.

5. They have been hurt so many times

This is a red flag. Being hurt makes he/she go easy on being committed and providing anything assuring because really they find it difficult to go through that pain of investing emotions and losing it at the end of the day. They would prefer to play it safe and stay away from something real.

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6. They avoid your family and friends

They see your family or friends as elements that represent commitment and responsibility, something that they are not really ready for. They would avoid meeting people that are really close and intimate with you.

7. They make unnecessary demands

You could say they are perfectionist or they just keep nagging to distract you from what good moments that could be born from your relationship. They really would want and expect everything to be perfect in you and in circumstances surrounding the relationship.

8. They dwell on the negatives of being in a relationship

They don’t see the positives of a real relationship. They talk against it to their friends, family and loved ones. They can’t seem to understand the depth and meaning of a real relationship and would rather prefer to talk negatively about it.

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9. They have issues with trusting others

They can’t seem to trust other people, especially with their emotions and feelings. They feel the other person in the relationship may be out to betray and hurt them so they try to play it safe and hide behind the cloak of mistrust and disbelief.

10. They want to be free

They want to be free. They cherish freedom and wouldn’t want that freedom or independence to be upset by anyone. They see a real relationship as a hindrance to being free and doing those things they like.

At the end of the day it is left for you to understand these signs and be willing to offer such persons the space they need.

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Featured photo credit: Romantic Young Couple in Love Outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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