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10 Signs Of People Who Aren’t Ready For A Real Relationship

10 Signs Of People Who Aren’t Ready For A Real Relationship

Let’s face it, we all want something from a relationship. Yet some just want something casual and less committed than what may be the general expectation. It is important to identify certain signs that could mean the other person doesn’t want more out of a relationship than what is casual. Such clarity will help us avoid disappointment at the end.

1. They are not progressive about the relationship

A relationship is like a plant. It has to be nurtured to grow. Such evolution is what will lead it to solidity and certainty. However if an individual doesn’t see a relationship as progressive or developmental and is not willing to put energy into propelling a relationship into maturity then it is obvious the person is not ready for something real.

2. They prefer to take rather than to give

They are always after something, and these could be what they could benefit or take from the relationship rather than offer to it. They really do not want to make any sacrifices that could consume or make them more involved. Giving something to a relationship sucks to them while taking makes them feel they are in control.

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3. They have not built great relationships in the past

Let them stare at the mirror and tell you what they see. Chances are that they will tell you that they have been through so many casual relationships that they really can’t define or tell you what a real relationship means. Whether what they have engaged in the past was casual or broken, they have not put in so much energy in the past to make a relationship a success.

4. They are elusive

Whether in discussions or actions that are made to signal they are willing to be a part of a real relationship they will be elusive. They will appear vague about what they really want from a relationship. Truthfully they do not have a clarity about what they want and being elusive about it keeps such commitment at bay.

5. They have been hurt so many times

This is a red flag. Being hurt makes he/she go easy on being committed and providing anything assuring because really they find it difficult to go through that pain of investing emotions and losing it at the end of the day. They would prefer to play it safe and stay away from something real.

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6. They avoid your family and friends

They see your family or friends as elements that represent commitment and responsibility, something that they are not really ready for. They would avoid meeting people that are really close and intimate with you.

7. They make unnecessary demands

You could say they are perfectionist or they just keep nagging to distract you from what good moments that could be born from your relationship. They really would want and expect everything to be perfect in you and in circumstances surrounding the relationship.

8. They dwell on the negatives of being in a relationship

They don’t see the positives of a real relationship. They talk against it to their friends, family and loved ones. They can’t seem to understand the depth and meaning of a real relationship and would rather prefer to talk negatively about it.

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9. They have issues with trusting others

They can’t seem to trust other people, especially with their emotions and feelings. They feel the other person in the relationship may be out to betray and hurt them so they try to play it safe and hide behind the cloak of mistrust and disbelief.

10. They want to be free

They want to be free. They cherish freedom and wouldn’t want that freedom or independence to be upset by anyone. They see a real relationship as a hindrance to being free and doing those things they like.

At the end of the day it is left for you to understand these signs and be willing to offer such persons the space they need.

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Featured photo credit: Romantic Young Couple in Love Outdoors via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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