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7 Reasons You Should Date Someone From a Different Culture

7 Reasons You Should Date Someone From a Different Culture

There are many benefits of dating someone from another culture. Here are just a few reasons that the pros outweigh the cons.

You will learn words in a new language besides “hello,” “thank you” and “beer”

Learning a new language might conjure up high school Spanish and the task of conjugating verbs for an hour, but dating someone from a different culture can give you an opportunity to learn a new language in the best way possible: through immersion. Learning your significant other’s native tongue will allow you to communicate better with their family and friends, and open up a whole new world linguistically. Plus in today’s highly intercultural world, it doesn’t hurt to know another language and have a reason to stand out among your competition in your field.

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You will learn that Chinese food is much different than Panda Express

Often authentic cuisine from a certain culture is not what you thought it was. Take Westernized Japanese food for instance. Cooked sushi is what I am used to here in the US, but visiting my boyfriend’s family in Japan I learned nigiri (raw fish over rice) is more common. Dating someone from a different culture allows you to not only open your mind to different cultural traditions and beliefs, but also it will broaden your taste buds. You never know–you might find your new favorite food that you have been missing out on all these years.

You get to share highlights of your own culture

Growing up in a place where most people are similar to you, dating someone from a different culture can open you up to realizing interesting aspects of your own culture that you would not have thought about otherwise. The smallest things like cultural eating habits or viewpoints that you never thought about now are points of interest for your significant other and thus have you examining your own culture more closely looking for interesting cultural differences between you two.

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You get double the holidays

If things get serious, you will start talking about how you want to incorporate your beliefs and cultural traditions together. It may seem like a daunting task, but there are definitely some benefits that you will get as a couple. Discussing your cultural values together will only strengthen your bond and deepen your understanding of each others’ backgrounds. Plus, holidays always means tons of home cooked meals and you have no problem with that.

You will become more culturally aware

One of the most important benefits from dating someone from a different culture is that you will learn to be culturally sensitive to not only your significant other’s culture, but to other cultures in general. This is important because as we live in an increasingly global world, it is hard not to encounter other who are different from you, whether in the workplace or within your community at home. Being culturally sensitive will give you an advantage in any daily situation you might face.

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You will develop a taste for adventure

Dating someone from a different culture means that you are most likely to travel, whether it’s to a new city or a new country, to visit your significant other’s family. Before I dated my current boyfriend, I couldn’t name which countries were neighbors to Japan. Now I not only know them but have visited Korea and China as well. Your travels will also be put into context, where you will be able to spend time with locals and understand a destination from their viewpoint. The way you travel will also change, where you will be yearning to experience a place in a more engaging, less touristy way.

You will grow a thicker skin

As much as people will support your intercultural relationship, there are always those who will be naysayers as well. You will learn to not let those who disapprove of your relationship affect you as a result and will develop a thicker skin. It’s important not only for your relationship’s well-being, but it also helps you in difficult situations that may arise in life.

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Featured photo credit: People with phones at the station – Walking and talking/Susanne Nilsson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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